Every quote from The Office season 2, episode 9, in script order. First aired November 22, 2005.
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Michael
Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5098
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Improv Teacher
Just, I want you to get rid of all your guns and give them to me. Great.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5099
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Michael
Yehhhehh.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5100
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Improv Teacher
Yeeehh, ok.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5101
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Pam
Jim's bedroom.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5102
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Jim
See, I knew we lost somebody on the tour. It's-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5103
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Pam
Cool... This is your desk.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5104
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Jim
This is my desk.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5105
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Pam
Your home office?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5106
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Jim
My home office, this is it.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5107
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Pam
Down. You have to sit down so I can get the full effect.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5108
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Jim
Ok, sure. Will do.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5109
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Pam
Ok, wait, so that would make me like right here.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5110
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Jim
Yeah, that... Yep, that feels about right.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5111
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Pam
And Dwight would be like-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5112
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Jim
You know what? Let's just leave that image out of it, because this is a happy place. Happy thoughts, Pam. Happy thoughts.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5113
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Pam
Umm, yearbook!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5114
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Jim
Yeah, you don't have to, ummm. Alright, yes, that's not gonna be awkward at all.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5115
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Pam
Ooooohhh no!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5116
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Jim
Oh yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5117
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Pam
You were so dorky!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5118
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Jim
Thank you.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5119
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Improv Teacher
Freeze!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5120
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Michael
I'm in.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5121
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Improv Teacher
You wanna go over the rules one more time?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5122
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Michael
No, no, no. I'm looking in my wallet for money so you can tell me my fortune.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5123
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Bill
I promise it's worthit . Ooo, I can see you walking out of here and you're thrilled with your reading.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5124
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Michael
What are you...
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5125
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Improv Teacher
Michael, what did you tell him?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5126
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Michael
Nothing.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5127
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Improv Teacher
Then why are his hands up? Bill?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5128
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Bill
He told me he couldn't show it to me, but he has a gun.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5129
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Improv Teacher
Ok, let's call it a day. Nice job, Bill.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5130
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Michael
Good, it's good. Good work, everybody.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5131
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Jim
Angela, burger? Dog? Havin' fun?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5132
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Angela
I got sap on me.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5133
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Jim
Chicken, hot dog, burger.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5134
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Angela
I'm a vegetarian.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5135
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Jim
There is soda inside.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5136
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Angela
Guh.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5137
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Stanley
I didn't think the premium laser color copy batch would sell as well as it did.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5138
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Oscar
Yeah, it surprised us all. I'll tell you why. Because when they---
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5139
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Kelly
I'm sorry guys; can we please not talk about paper? There's gotta be something else we can talk about.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5140
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Angela
I think it's alright. Jesus drank wine.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5141
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Pam
Hey Phyllis, come here for a second.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5142
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Phyllis
Sure.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5143
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Pam
Have you heard anything about any secret office romances?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5144
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Phyllis
You tell me. Well, you do mean you and Jim right? Oh God. I am so sorry, I thought, you guys hang out all the time and you're talking all the time. I'm sorry!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5145
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Pam
That's ok. It's ok.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5146
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Kevin
Not so fast... Fire Guy.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5147
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Mary-Beth
How do I get to Bernie's Tavern from here?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5148
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Bill
Oh, don't worry. We're all gonna carpool.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5149
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Michael
So Bernie's, huh? We're all going to Bernie's? Go to Bernie's?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5150
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Bill
Oh sorry, we're not going as a group, it's just a private friend who just happens to know all of us from different ways is throwing a private birthday thing.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5151
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Michael
Right, right, right. Well guys, I'd love to go to Bernie's with you, but, you know, I have an office party. A big office party I need to go to, so... Can't get out of it.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5152
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Bill
Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5153
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Michael
Ok, see you later. Nice job, Bill. Not.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5154
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Phyllis
Here I go again on my own. Going down the only road I've ever known...
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5155
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Jim
Oh by the way how's your side project going?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5156
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Pam
Oh, yeah I gave that up.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5157
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Jim
Really?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5158
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Pam
Yeah, it turns out I was, um, just grasping at straws.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5159
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Pam
Just because two people are hanging out, it doesn't mean that they're together, you know? Like people can just be friends. And I think that it was really unfair to think that there was anything else going on.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5160
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Kevin
Just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5161
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Dwight
Surprise! Everybody!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5162
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Phyllis
Dwight...
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5163
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Michael
Wow! Who opened the morgue for this thing? I'm just driving by, thought I'd drop in. There's some wine. I would love a glass, if you're gonna open it. Here ya go Temp, take my jacket! Oh, come on! That guy? He is a good guy, not a terrorist. Karaoke, I love it! I am a karaoke fiend. I call dibs. I got next, I got next up. Come on, let's get this party started, ha! Ok? Where's that wine?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5164
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Michael
Ok, yeah, this is a duet, so, need somebody else, Pam? You wanna come up and sing this one? Need somebody else. Takers, please. Baby when I met you there was peace unknown. Kelly? Tried to get you with a fine tooth comb. I was soft inside, there was something goin' on. This part goes to the, uh, girl. You do something to me that I can't explain. Hold me closer and I feel no pain. In every beat of my heart, we got something goin' on. Tender love is blind---
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5165
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Michael and Jim
It requires a dedication, all this love we feel needs no conversation. Divided, together, uh huh. Making love with each other, uh huh.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5166
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Michael
We're making love!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5167
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Michael and Jim
Islands in the stream, that is what we are, no one in between, how can we be wrong? Sail away with me...
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5168
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Michael
Talk! Just talk!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5169
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Mary-Beth
I am-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5170
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Michael
Shut up!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5171
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Michael
Funny story: the way that I got into improv was, I got into improv. The story about me getting into improv was that I was walking down the street, and a race car pulls up, and the guy says 'Hey you're funny, you're the funniest guy I've ever seen, or my name is not Dale Earnhardt.' And that was an improv. Um, the real way is that I found a flyer.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5172
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Angela
You're going to have to stop that. I can still feel it.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5173
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Sadiq (IT guy)
Do you have a question or something?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5174
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Michael
Um...
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5175
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Sadiq (IT guy)
About my turban, maybe?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5176
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Michael
Nope, nope. I actually wear a turban sometimes. Wanna see it?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5177
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Sadiq (IT guy)
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5178
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Michael
Got it right here.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5179
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Sadiq (IT guy)
Why do you have that?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5180
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Michael
Comedy; it's funny. It's Johnny Carson, Karnak. It's, um, put it back. Huhhhh, did you have Johnny Carson in your land?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5181
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Sadiq (IT guy)
In Pittsburgh? Yeah, but I never really watched him.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5182
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Michael
Oh. You were forbidden.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5183
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Sadiq (IT guy)
No, I'm much younger than you. I watched Conan.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5184
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Michael
Alright, I'm gonna, uhh, get a cup of coffee. Do you want some coffee er-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5185
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Sadiq (IT guy)
No.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5186
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Michael
Or some tea or hummus or something?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5187
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Sadiq (IT guy)
No, thank you.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5188
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Phyllis
Oh, this isn't good.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5189
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Stanley
It's fine.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5190
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Phyllis
You don't even know what I'm talking about.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5191
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Michael
Should have done this a long time ago. Tons of personal e-mails, huge time wasters. Uh, uh huh. Wow, like Kevin, rating the best bars in Scranton? Poor Richard's number seven? Idiot. Stupid load. Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5192
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Pam
Hey, Michael, accounting needs your approval on-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5193
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Michael
Yeah, I'm busy right now.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5194
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Michael
Here's a helpful suggestion for Jim. Jim, instead of e-mailing Amazon, to try and get that CD that you didn't receive, I suggest that you go to Visa and tell them to cancel the charge.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5195
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Jim
Yeah, definitely didn't need help with that, but, yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5196
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Michael
It's seems like ya did though-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5197