Every line from The Office season 2, episode 9, in script order. First aired November 22, 2005.
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Jim
Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 4998
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Jim
So, Dwight thinks that tonight is a surprise party for Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 4999
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Pam
Really? That's great.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5000
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Jim
I know.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5001
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Pam
Maybe we can get him to hide and wait somewhere.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5002
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Jim
Oh man. Oh, you know what, speaking of which, I was just trying to get a handle on, you know, numbers for food and stuff. So do you think that Roy's gonna come, or...
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5003
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Pam
Oh, no, he can't make it.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5004
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Jim
Oh, ok, cool.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5005
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Michael
Hey there.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5006
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Jim
Hey.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5007
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Michael
Almost quittin' time.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5008
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Jim
Yup, it's, uh, four o'clock.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5009
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Michael
One more hour. Take care of anything you forgot to do. Hey, you know, I don't know if you have any plans tonight, but if ya don't, we could hang out.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5010
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Jim
Oh, um... .I can't.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5011
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Michael
You have plans.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5012
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Jim
Uh hmm, definitely.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5013
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Michael
I do, too. I do, too.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5014
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Jim
You do?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5015
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Michael
I do, yeah. Big plans.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5016
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Jim
Because you said 'do you wanna hang out'-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5017
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Michael
Tonight, I can't do it tonight, no. Improv class, I have improv class, hanging out with my improv buds-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5018
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Jim
Really?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5019
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Michael
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5020
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Jim
Aw, that sounds like a lot of fun.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5021
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Michael
It's the best. It's the best. I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up, I would definitely not go.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5022
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Jim
Improv sounds great.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5023
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Michael
It is. Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5024
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Jim
Alright.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5025
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Michael
What?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5026
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Jim
I think Stanley just coughed.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5027
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Michael
Hey, Pam. Do you need me to walk to your vehicular transport?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5028
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Pam
No thanks.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5029
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Michael
Alright. Oscar, got big plans tonight with-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5030
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Oscar
I'm on a call.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5031
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Michael
Kevin, big man, big man, what are you doing tonight? Where are you off to?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5032
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Kevin
My brother is in town and we are going to see the Alaska Film Festival at the Scien-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5033
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Michael
Ok, alright.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5034
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Kevin
Oh.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5035
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Michael
Hey, Angela, rushy, rushy. Where you rushin' off to?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5036
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Angela
I'm just leaving for the day.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5037
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Michael
Yeah, well duh. Where ya headed?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5038
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Angela
Charity. Bake drive.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5039
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Michael
Liar!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5040
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Angela
No!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5041
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Michael
You are a liar.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5042
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Angela
No, I'm not.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5043
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Michael
Dwight, oh ho, Dwight, Dwight, my loyal compadre. You and I are hangin' tonight. The two of us. We are celebrating our freedom and our manhood. You know what? Why don't we watch that show that you've been wanting to watch, that stupid Battleship Galaxy.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5044
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Dwight
Battlestar Galatica.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5045
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Michael
That's, whatever stupid show you want-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5046
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Dwight
I can't-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5047
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Michael
To watch tonight
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5048
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Dwight
Tonight.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5049
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Michael
We're watching it.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5050
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Dwight
Unfortunately, I've got plans. I have to go to practice. Soccer practice.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5051
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Michael
I didn't know you played soccer, Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5052
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Dwight
Clarinet.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5053
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Michael
You, too, Dwight?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5054
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Dwight
Have fun tonight! Whatever it is that you're doing, and I'll see you Monday. He has no idea!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5055
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Jim
Quick announcement everybody, if I could have everybody's attention. We do have wine in the kitchen, and, uh, there is beer available on the porch and despite what you might think, it's not all for Meredith and Kelly, so please enjoy.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5056
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Dwight
Jim! You really think this is a good idea, huh? A hide-a-key rock?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5057
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Mark
Hey, you must be Dwight!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5058
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Dwight
You don't work with us.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5059
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Jim
That's because Mark's my roommate.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5060
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Mark
Hey, I love the Birkenstocks.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5061
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Dwight
Thanks. Yeah, I always keep an extra set in the car, for special occasions. Jim, come here.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5062
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Jim
Uh hmm.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5063
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Dwight
When is the guest of honor coming?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5064
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Jim
Oh, uh, later-ish.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5065
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Dwight
He's gonna love it!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5066
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Jim
Great. Just wanna let you guys know that we will be taking the tour like I promised-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5067
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Pam
Hey.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5068
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Jim
Hey! Just in time! You wanna go on the group tour? We were just about to leave.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5069
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Pam
Definitely.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5070
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Jim
Well, the group tour is now leaving, then. Ladies and gentlemen, just a few things that we are gonna be pointing out to you today, you will be able to see both bedrooms and, uh, if we're lucky, maybe get a chance to peek into the bathroom, who knows. I have to remind you that flash photography is prohibited and as much as you can, please refrain from touching things. I know you might want to.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5071
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Ryan
Hey, is Katy coming?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5072
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Jim
Uh, actually, I haven't talked to her in a while.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5073
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Ryan
Huh, is it ok if I call her?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5074
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Jim
We can talk about that later.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5075
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Improv Teacher
Ok, let's get right into it. I need two people for the first scene.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5076
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Michael
Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo, Mr. Cart-air, Mr. Cart-air.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5077
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Improv Teacher
Ok, Michael. And... anybody? How about Mary-Beth? Come on. Ok, so you start us off Mary-Beth.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5078
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Mary-Beth
Great. La la la la la laaa...
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5079
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Michael
Boom! Detective Michael Scarn. I'm with the FBI.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5080
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Michael
Think about this; what is the most exciting thing that can happen, on TV, or in movies, or in real life? Somebody has a gun. That's why I always start with a gun, because you can't top it, you just can't.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5081
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Girl acting Pregnant
I'm supposed to meet my doctor here? Have ya seen him? He's a very angry midget.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5082
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Michael
Boom! Freeze! Michael Scoon, FBI. You know what you did. Boom! Boom! Boom! Yeah, you thought that you could get away with your little ruse, didn't you? Didn't ya!? Well, you didn't, because I know where ya hid the diamonds. I been on to you and your little friends for weeks. Boom! Boom! Boom!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5083
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Actor
I'm not even in the scene!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5084
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Actress
Again!?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5085
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Michael
Boom! Boom!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5086
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Improv Teacher
Stop, stop, ok, stop.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5087
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Michael
Boom! Boom!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5088
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Improv Teacher
You shot me, great. Now stop.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5089
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Michael
Why
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5090
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Improv Teacher
You can't just shoot everyone in the scene.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5091
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Michael
Well, if you hadn't stopped the scene, you would have seen where it was going.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5092
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Improv Teacher
Ok, what about the scene they set up?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5093
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Michael
Boring.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5094
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Improv Teacher
No, it wasn't. No more guns.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5095
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Michael
I could of-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5096
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Improv Teacher
No. No. Michael, I want you to give me all the guns you have.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5097