Every quote from The Office season 2, episode 9, in script order. First aired November 22, 2005.
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Jim
Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4998
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Jim
So, Dwight thinks that tonight is a surprise party for Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4999
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Pam
Really? That's great.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5000
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Jim
I know.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5001
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Pam
Maybe we can get him to hide and wait somewhere.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5002
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Jim
Oh man. Oh, you know what, speaking of which, I was just trying to get a handle on, you know, numbers for food and stuff. So do you think that Roy's gonna come, or...
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5003
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Pam
Oh, no, he can't make it.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5004
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Jim
Oh, ok, cool.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5005
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Michael
Hey there.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5006
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Jim
Hey.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5007
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Michael
Almost quittin' time.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5008
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Jim
Yup, it's, uh, four o'clock.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5009
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Michael
One more hour. Take care of anything you forgot to do. Hey, you know, I don't know if you have any plans tonight, but if ya don't, we could hang out.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5010
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Jim
Oh, um... .I can't.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5011
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Michael
You have plans.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5012
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Jim
Uh hmm, definitely.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5013
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Michael
I do, too. I do, too.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5014
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Jim
You do?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5015
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Michael
I do, yeah. Big plans.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5016
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Jim
Because you said 'do you wanna hang out'-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5017
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Michael
Tonight, I can't do it tonight, no. Improv class, I have improv class, hanging out with my improv buds-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5018
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Jim
Really?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5019
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Michael
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5020
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Jim
Aw, that sounds like a lot of fun.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5021
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Michael
It's the best. It's the best. I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up, I would definitely not go.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5022
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Jim
Improv sounds great.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5023
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Michael
It is. Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5024
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Jim
Alright.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5025
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Michael
What?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5026
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Jim
I think Stanley just coughed.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5027
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Michael
Hey, Pam. Do you need me to walk to your vehicular transport?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5028
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Pam
No thanks.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5029
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Michael
Alright. Oscar, got big plans tonight with-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5030
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Oscar
I'm on a call.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5031
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Michael
Kevin, big man, big man, what are you doing tonight? Where are you off to?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5032
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Kevin
My brother is in town and we are going to see the Alaska Film Festival at the Scien-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5033
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Michael
Ok, alright.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5034
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Kevin
Oh.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5035
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Michael
Hey, Angela, rushy, rushy. Where you rushin' off to?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5036
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Angela
I'm just leaving for the day.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5037
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Michael
Yeah, well duh. Where ya headed?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5038
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Angela
Charity. Bake drive.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5039
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Michael
Liar!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5040
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Angela
No!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5041
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Michael
You are a liar.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5042
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Angela
No, I'm not.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5043
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Michael
Dwight, oh ho, Dwight, Dwight, my loyal compadre. You and I are hangin' tonight. The two of us. We are celebrating our freedom and our manhood. You know what? Why don't we watch that show that you've been wanting to watch, that stupid Battleship Galaxy.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5044
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Dwight
Battlestar Galatica.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5045
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Michael
That's, whatever stupid show you want-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5046
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Dwight
I can't-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5047
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Michael
To watch tonight
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5048
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Dwight
Tonight.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5049
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Michael
We're watching it.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5050
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Dwight
Unfortunately, I've got plans. I have to go to practice. Soccer practice.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5051
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Michael
I didn't know you played soccer, Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5052
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Dwight
Clarinet.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5053
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Michael
You, too, Dwight?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5054
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Dwight
Have fun tonight! Whatever it is that you're doing, and I'll see you Monday. He has no idea!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5055
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Jim
Quick announcement everybody, if I could have everybody's attention. We do have wine in the kitchen, and, uh, there is beer available on the porch and despite what you might think, it's not all for Meredith and Kelly, so please enjoy.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5056
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Dwight
Jim! You really think this is a good idea, huh? A hide-a-key rock?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5057
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Mark
Hey, you must be Dwight!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5058
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Dwight
You don't work with us.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5059
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Jim
That's because Mark's my roommate.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5060
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Mark
Hey, I love the Birkenstocks.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5061
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Dwight
Thanks. Yeah, I always keep an extra set in the car, for special occasions. Jim, come here.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5062
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Jim
Uh hmm.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5063
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Dwight
When is the guest of honor coming?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5064
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Jim
Oh, uh, later-ish.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5065
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Dwight
He's gonna love it!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5066
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Jim
Great. Just wanna let you guys know that we will be taking the tour like I promised-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5067
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Pam
Hey.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5068
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Jim
Hey! Just in time! You wanna go on the group tour? We were just about to leave.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5069
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Pam
Definitely.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5070
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Jim
Well, the group tour is now leaving, then. Ladies and gentlemen, just a few things that we are gonna be pointing out to you today, you will be able to see both bedrooms and, uh, if we're lucky, maybe get a chance to peek into the bathroom, who knows. I have to remind you that flash photography is prohibited and as much as you can, please refrain from touching things. I know you might want to.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5071
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Ryan
Hey, is Katy coming?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5072
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Jim
Uh, actually, I haven't talked to her in a while.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5073
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Ryan
Huh, is it ok if I call her?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5074
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Jim
We can talk about that later.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5075
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Improv Teacher
Ok, let's get right into it. I need two people for the first scene.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5076
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Michael
Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo, Mr. Cart-air, Mr. Cart-air.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5077
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Improv Teacher
Ok, Michael. And... anybody? How about Mary-Beth? Come on. Ok, so you start us off Mary-Beth.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5078
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Mary-Beth
Great. La la la la la laaa...
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5079
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Michael
Boom! Detective Michael Scarn. I'm with the FBI.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5080
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Michael
Think about this; what is the most exciting thing that can happen, on TV, or in movies, or in real life? Somebody has a gun. That's why I always start with a gun, because you can't top it, you just can't.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5081
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Girl acting Pregnant
I'm supposed to meet my doctor here? Have ya seen him? He's a very angry midget.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5082
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Michael
Boom! Freeze! Michael Scoon, FBI. You know what you did. Boom! Boom! Boom! Yeah, you thought that you could get away with your little ruse, didn't you? Didn't ya!? Well, you didn't, because I know where ya hid the diamonds. I been on to you and your little friends for weeks. Boom! Boom! Boom!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5083
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Actor
I'm not even in the scene!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5084
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Actress
Again!?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5085
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Michael
Boom! Boom!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5086
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Improv Teacher
Stop, stop, ok, stop.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5087
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Michael
Boom! Boom!
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5088
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Improv Teacher
You shot me, great. Now stop.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5089
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Michael
Why
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5090
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Improv Teacher
You can't just shoot everyone in the scene.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5091
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Michael
Well, if you hadn't stopped the scene, you would have seen where it was going.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5092
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Improv Teacher
Ok, what about the scene they set up?
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5093
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Michael
Boring.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5094
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Improv Teacher
No, it wasn't. No more guns.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5095
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Michael
I could of-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5096
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Improv Teacher
No. No. Michael, I want you to give me all the guns you have.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5097