Every line from The Office season 2, episode 6, in script order. First aired November 1, 2005.
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Ryan
Kay.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3962
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Toby
You don't need to write 'ex'.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3963
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Michael
And after that, nobody ever messed with the 'Damn Rascals' ever again.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3964
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Jim
Sounds tough. When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way, right?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3965
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Michael
You were a Jet?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3966
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Angela
Have you signed the expense reports yet?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3967
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Michael
Yes, in theory, I have. I just need to cross some t's and dot some i's. Alright, I'm going to be in my office if anybody needs me. Hoo-hah. Oh, wow, sleeper hold. That's my rebuttal. Shhh. Hoo. You are the weakest link.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3968
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Dwight
Argggg!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3969
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Michael
I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends - I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late, and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments. And that's when it is nice to let them know that you can beat them up.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3970
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Michael
Just hit me. You'll see.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3971
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Jim
I can't. I just got a manicure.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3972
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Michael
Oh, queer... eye. Queer eye. That's a good show. Important show. Go ahead. Do it.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3973
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Jim
Just have Dwight punch you.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3974
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Michael
Oh yeah, that would be kind of worthless because I know a ton of fourteen year old girls who can kick his ass.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3975
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Jim
You know a ton of fourteen year old girls?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3976
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Dwight
What belt are they?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3977
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Michael
Look, Dwight is a wuss. When we rented 'Armageddon'...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3978
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Dwight
No!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3979
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Michael
... he cried at the end of it. He did.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3980
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Dwight
Michael, I told you, it was because it was New Year's Eve and it began to snow at exactly midnight.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3981
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Michael
Oh, Bruce Willis. Are they going to leave him on the asteroid?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3982
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Dwight
Ok, I'll punch you.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3983
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Michael
Ok, here we go. Alright, come on.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3984
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Dwight
Kiyah!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3985
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Michael
Fuuuaaaahhhhh... oohhhhh!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3986
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Dwight
Did I want to harm Michael? The one man I've been hired to protect? No, I did not.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3987
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Jim
Are you ok? Are you sure you are alright?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3988
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Michael
Yeah. Thank you.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3989
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Dwight
I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran. Killed 20 men then spent the rest of the war in an Allied Prison Camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3990
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Jim
Ok, he has to be stopped. Please, please, please, please, just ask Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3991
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Pam
I don't know.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3992
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Jim
Ok, I'll buy you a bag of chips.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3993
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Pam
French Onion?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3994
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Jim
Obviously.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3995
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Pam
Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3996
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Jim
Yes.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3997
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Dwight
Take this pen and stab me with it.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3998
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Michael
Go away.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3999
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Pam
I just have a quick question.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4000
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Michael
I haven't signed them, ok?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4001
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Pam
No, it's not that. Um, I was just wondering, since I'm probably going to have to stay late, could you ask Dwight to stay late too so he can walk me to my car?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4002
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Michael
Come in. Um, Pam, I hate to break this to you but Dwight can't stop you from being mugged. He's just not tough enough.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4003
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Pam
He's a purple belt. That's really high.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4004
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Michael
Oh, I could beat up Dwight. That's ridiculous. I could murder him.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4005
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Pam
It's just out there, you...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4006
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Michael
Oh, so that's what they are saying?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4007
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4008
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Michael
Ok, alright, where is Dwight?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4009
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Jim
Uh, Kitchen.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4010
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Michael
Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4011
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Kelly
Hi-yah!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4012
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Dwight
Good.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4013
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Kelly
Wow, that's actually pretty cool Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4014
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Dwight
Now watch, let me take you from behind.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4015
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Kelly
What?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4016
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Michael
Watch out Kelly, he might sucker punch you.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4017
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Dwight
I didn't sucker punch you, Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4018
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Michael
No, Really?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4019
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Dwight
In case you remember, I was defending my honor... like a samurai.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4020
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Michael
Really? Well, the offer, Dwight, was for one punch which I absorbed. I had no idea that there would be a second punch. So, catch-22.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4021
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Dwight
Ok, fine. Tit for tit. Give it your best shot. Two punches. Go!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4022
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Michael
Look, if we were in a bar right now, there would be two punches: me punching you and you hitting the floor.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4023
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Dwight
No, I would block your first punch rendering it ineffective.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4024
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Michael
Really?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4025
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Dwight
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4026
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Michael
You know what? You're just lucky that we are at work right now.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4027
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Jim
Ooh, what about, uh, Dwight's dojo?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4028
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Michael
No, they must have class.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4029
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Dwight
No, it's free during the day. It's fine.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4030
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Michael
Look...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4031
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Dwight
I've got the key.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4032
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Toby
Michael...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4033
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Michael
Hey, Toby.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4034
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Toby
Any word on those time cards?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4035
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Michael
I've got an idea: why don't you leave right now. Why don't you walk away from the room, 'kay? Fine. We'll go at lunch. Pam, make an announcement. Figure out carpools.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4036
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Jim
Um, well, we are all getting excited to see this fight. The Albany branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing, but Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour so we could all go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight. Fight... Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, I'm coming, fight...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4037
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Michael
I recognize that. That is Japanese for California Roll.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4038
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Ira
Uh, no, it's not.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4039
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Michael
I think it is. A guy told me about that.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4040
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Ira
Actually, it's a symbol for eternal discipline.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4041
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Michael
Oh.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4042
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Jim
Wow, that is really interesting.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4043
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Pam
What?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4044
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Jim
Your love line- I'm just kidding. I can't see anything.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4045
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Pam
Well, look closer.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4046
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Jim
Oh, ok.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4047
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Pam
Once point for me.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4048
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Jim
Tied up.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4049
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Pam
Oh, you're dead.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4050
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Jim
What, what are you going to do? Bring it, Beesley. Bring it. Oh yeah, good move. Not such an ultimate fighter now.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4051
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Pam
Hey, put me down. Put me down. Oh my god, hey, put me down. Hey...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4052
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Ira
Ok, gentlemen, listen up. After a clean strike to the chest, stomach, or kidneys, I will separate you and award a point. The first person to three wins. Alright?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4053
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Dwight
Yes, Sensei!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4054
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Michael
Alotta rules. Alotta rules. On the street we didn't have any rules. Maybe one - no kicks to the groin, home for dinner.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4055
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Ira
Shi mate!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4056
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Dwight
Hiii!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4057
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Michael
Hey!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4058
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Ira
Alright, break.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4059
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Michael
What the hell was that?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4060
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Dwight
Yes!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 4061