Every quote from The Office season 2, episode 6, in script order. First aired November 1, 2005.
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Ryan
Kay.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3962
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Toby
You don't need to write 'ex'.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3963
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Michael
And after that, nobody ever messed with the 'Damn Rascals' ever again.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3964
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Jim
Sounds tough. When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way, right?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3965
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Michael
You were a Jet?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3966
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Angela
Have you signed the expense reports yet?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3967
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Michael
Yes, in theory, I have. I just need to cross some t's and dot some i's. Alright, I'm going to be in my office if anybody needs me. Hoo-hah. Oh, wow, sleeper hold. That's my rebuttal. Shhh. Hoo. You are the weakest link.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3968
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Dwight
Argggg!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3969
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Michael
I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends - I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late, and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments. And that's when it is nice to let them know that you can beat them up.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3970
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Michael
Just hit me. You'll see.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3971
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Jim
I can't. I just got a manicure.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3972
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Michael
Oh, queer... eye. Queer eye. That's a good show. Important show. Go ahead. Do it.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3973
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Jim
Just have Dwight punch you.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3974
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Michael
Oh yeah, that would be kind of worthless because I know a ton of fourteen year old girls who can kick his ass.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3975
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Jim
You know a ton of fourteen year old girls?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3976
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Dwight
What belt are they?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3977
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Michael
Look, Dwight is a wuss. When we rented 'Armageddon'...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3978
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Dwight
No!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3979
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Michael
... he cried at the end of it. He did.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3980
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Dwight
Michael, I told you, it was because it was New Year's Eve and it began to snow at exactly midnight.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3981
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Michael
Oh, Bruce Willis. Are they going to leave him on the asteroid?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3982
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Dwight
Ok, I'll punch you.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3983
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Michael
Ok, here we go. Alright, come on.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3984
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Dwight
Kiyah!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3985
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Michael
Fuuuaaaahhhhh... oohhhhh!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3986
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Dwight
Did I want to harm Michael? The one man I've been hired to protect? No, I did not.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3987
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Jim
Are you ok? Are you sure you are alright?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3988
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Michael
Yeah. Thank you.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3989
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Dwight
I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran. Killed 20 men then spent the rest of the war in an Allied Prison Camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3990
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Jim
Ok, he has to be stopped. Please, please, please, please, just ask Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3991
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Pam
I don't know.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3992
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Jim
Ok, I'll buy you a bag of chips.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3993
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Pam
French Onion?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3994
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Jim
Obviously.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3995
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Pam
Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3996
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Jim
Yes.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3997
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Dwight
Take this pen and stab me with it.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3998
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Michael
Go away.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3999
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Pam
I just have a quick question.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4000
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Michael
I haven't signed them, ok?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4001
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Pam
No, it's not that. Um, I was just wondering, since I'm probably going to have to stay late, could you ask Dwight to stay late too so he can walk me to my car?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4002
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Michael
Come in. Um, Pam, I hate to break this to you but Dwight can't stop you from being mugged. He's just not tough enough.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4003
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Pam
He's a purple belt. That's really high.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4004
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Michael
Oh, I could beat up Dwight. That's ridiculous. I could murder him.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4005
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Pam
It's just out there, you...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4006
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Michael
Oh, so that's what they are saying?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4007
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4008
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Michael
Ok, alright, where is Dwight?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4009
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Jim
Uh, Kitchen.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4010
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Michael
Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4011
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Kelly
Hi-yah!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4012
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Dwight
Good.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4013
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Kelly
Wow, that's actually pretty cool Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4014
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Dwight
Now watch, let me take you from behind.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4015
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Kelly
What?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4016
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Michael
Watch out Kelly, he might sucker punch you.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4017
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Dwight
I didn't sucker punch you, Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4018
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Michael
No, Really?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4019
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Dwight
In case you remember, I was defending my honor... like a samurai.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4020
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Michael
Really? Well, the offer, Dwight, was for one punch which I absorbed. I had no idea that there would be a second punch. So, catch-22.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4021
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Dwight
Ok, fine. Tit for tit. Give it your best shot. Two punches. Go!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4022
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Michael
Look, if we were in a bar right now, there would be two punches: me punching you and you hitting the floor.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4023
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Dwight
No, I would block your first punch rendering it ineffective.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4024
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Michael
Really?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4025
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Dwight
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4026
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Michael
You know what? You're just lucky that we are at work right now.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4027
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Jim
Ooh, what about, uh, Dwight's dojo?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4028
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Michael
No, they must have class.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4029
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Dwight
No, it's free during the day. It's fine.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4030
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Michael
Look...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4031
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Dwight
I've got the key.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4032
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Toby
Michael...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4033
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Michael
Hey, Toby.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4034
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Toby
Any word on those time cards?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4035
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Michael
I've got an idea: why don't you leave right now. Why don't you walk away from the room, 'kay? Fine. We'll go at lunch. Pam, make an announcement. Figure out carpools.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4036
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Jim
Um, well, we are all getting excited to see this fight. The Albany branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing, but Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour so we could all go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight. Fight... Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, I'm coming, fight...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4037
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Michael
I recognize that. That is Japanese for California Roll.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4038
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Ira
Uh, no, it's not.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4039
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Michael
I think it is. A guy told me about that.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4040
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Ira
Actually, it's a symbol for eternal discipline.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4041
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Michael
Oh.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4042
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Jim
Wow, that is really interesting.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4043
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Pam
What?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4044
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Jim
Your love line- I'm just kidding. I can't see anything.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4045
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Pam
Well, look closer.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4046
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Jim
Oh, ok.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4047
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Pam
Once point for me.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4048
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Jim
Tied up.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4049
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Pam
Oh, you're dead.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4050
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Jim
What, what are you going to do? Bring it, Beesley. Bring it. Oh yeah, good move. Not such an ultimate fighter now.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4051
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Pam
Hey, put me down. Put me down. Oh my god, hey, put me down. Hey...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4052
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Ira
Ok, gentlemen, listen up. After a clean strike to the chest, stomach, or kidneys, I will separate you and award a point. The first person to three wins. Alright?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4053
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Dwight
Yes, Sensei!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4054
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Michael
Alotta rules. Alotta rules. On the street we didn't have any rules. Maybe one - no kicks to the groin, home for dinner.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4055
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Ira
Shi mate!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4056
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Dwight
Hiii!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4057
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Michael
Hey!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4058
-
Ira
Alright, break.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4059
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Michael
What the hell was that?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4060
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Dwight
Yes!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4061