Every quote from The Office season 2, episode 6, in script order. First aired November 1, 2005.
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Dwight
Where is my desk?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3862
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Jim
That is weird.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3863
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Dwight
This is not funny. This is totally unprofessional.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3864
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Jim
Ok, well, you're the one who lost the desk.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3865
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Dwight
I didn't lose my desk.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3866
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Jim
Okay, calm down. Where was the last place you saw it?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3867
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Dwight
Okay, who moved my desk?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3868
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Jim
I think you should retrace your steps.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3869
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Dwight
Ok, I am going to tell Michael and this entire office will be punished!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3870
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Jim
Colder... warmer... little warmer... there you go, ooh, warmer... warmer... warmer... warmer... warmer ... cold, cold, cold, back up... ooh, ooh, warmer, hot, red hot, hot, very hot.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3871
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Dwight
Dwight Schrute.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3872
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Jim
Hi, Dwight, um, what sort of discounts are we giving on the 20 lb white model.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3873
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Dwight
Jim, I've given you this information, like, twenty times.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3874
-
Jim
I know.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3875
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Dwight
It's by the ream?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3876
-
Jim
Uh, yeah, ream.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3877
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Dwight
...now, $9.78, signs and discounts 7%.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3878
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Jim
Ok, thank you, gotta get back to work.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3879
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Dwight
Wash your hands, Kevin.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3880
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Jim
Right, oh let me just check the pricing list. Hold on one second...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3881
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Dwight
Sensei, hello it's Sempai...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3882
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Jim
Umm...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3883
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Dwight
Dwight...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3884
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Jim
You know what, let me give you a call right back. I'm going to uh, find it and then I'll call you back, thanks.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3885
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Dwight
Yes, I just had a ques-... Yes Sensei. Arigatou gozaimashita. Hai.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3886
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Jim
Was that your mom?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3887
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Dwight
No, that was my Sensei.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3888
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Jim
Oh, I thought it was your mom.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3889
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Dwight
I am now Sempai, which is Assistant Sensei.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3890
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Jim
Assistant to the Sensei, that's pretty cool.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3891
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Dwight
Assistant Sensei.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3892
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Jim
Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3893
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Dwight
I am a practitioner of Goju Ru Karate, here in Scranton. My Sensei, Ira, recently promoted me to purple belt, and gave me the duties of a Sempai. Not that a lot of people here in America know what a Sempai is, but it is equally as respected as a Sensei.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3894
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Stanley
I don't want to stay until seven again this year.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3895
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Pam
I don't really have any control over that Stanley.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3896
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Pam
Michael tends to procrastinate a bit whenever he has to do work. Umm, time cards, he has to sign these every Friday. Purchase orders have to be approved at the end of every month. And expense reports, all he has to do is initial these at the end of every quarter. But once a year, it all falls on the same Friday and that's today. I call it the Perfect Storm.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3897
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Michael
I don't want to work, I just want to bang on this mug all day.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3898
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Ryan
Did you ask me here for any specific reason?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3899
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Michael
Uhh, yes, I did, here's the dizzle. I have a very top secret mission for you. I want you to update all the emergency contact information.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3900
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Ryan
Why is that secret?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3901
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Michael
Hello, oh God, busy work. Ahh, get away, cretin.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3902
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Pam
Umm, I put stickers so you know where to sign.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3903
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Michael
Yes, thank you. I know where to sign.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3904
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Pam
It's just last year you...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3905
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Michael
Last year they were out of order, weren't they Pam?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3906
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Pam
Well, the last pick-up for overnight deliveries is at seven. So you need to have them signed by then. Or much earlier.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3907
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Michael
Chillax, Pam. Stop Pam-M-S-ing. That's pretty good. Um, actually, I'm sending Ryan on a top secret mission. Tell her what it is.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3908
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Ryan
Updating emergency contacts.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3909
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Pam
Well, is that really a priority?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3910
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Michael
Is it a priority? Oh I don't know, um, what if there is a tornado, Pam? People's legs are crushed under rubble. 'Please, would you be so kind as to call my wife? No, I can't because we don't have any emergency contact information because Pam said it wasn't a priority.' Think. Think with your head, Pam. Ok, well. She walks out. That's the problem with being a boss is that when you are tough they resent you and when you are cool they walk all over you.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3911
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Ryan
Catch-22.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3912
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Michael
Catch-22. Yes. Why don't you give me your contact information to start with, ok, what's your cell?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3913
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Jim
Uh, Larissa Halpert.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3914
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Ryan
What's her address?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3915
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Jim
117 Mount Bergin St.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3916
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Ryan
Hello?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3917
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Michael
Hey Ryan. This is Michael Jackson calling from Wonderland.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3918
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Ryan
Do you mean Neverland?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3919
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Michael
This is Tito.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3920
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Ryan
What?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3921
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Michael
Calling from...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3922
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Pam
You're major and minor lines cross at a ridge - that sucks.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3923
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Jim
You making this up as you go along, aren't you?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3924
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Pam
I am just following the website.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3925
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Jim
Well, at least I don't have cavities.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3926
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Pam
Yes, you have very nice teeth.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3927
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Jim
Thanks.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3928
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Ryan
Who is your emergency contact?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3929
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Kevin
Stacy.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3930
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Ryan
[looks to see who is calling but doesn't pick up]
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3931
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Michael
Pick up.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3932
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Ryan
Hello?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3933
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Michael
This is Mike Tyson.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3934
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Jim
Hey, Dwight. As Sempai, do you think there is ever going to be a day where humans and robots can peacefully co-exist?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3935
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Dwight
Impossible. The way they're programmed... You're mocking me.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3936
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Jim
No I'm not.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3937
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Dwight
Look, I'm going to offer you a little piece of advice. I'm not afraid to make an example out of you.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3938
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Jim
Oh, that's not advice. What advice sounds like is this: umm, don't ever bring your purple belt to work because someone might steal it.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3939
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Dwight
Ok, give that back to me.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3940
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Jim
Ok, say please.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3941
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Dwight
No. That is not a toy.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3942
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Jim
Please?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3943
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Dwight
Please?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3944
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Jim
Good, and it absolutely is a toy. Arigatou.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3945
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Dwight
Arigatou. This is not a toy. This is a message to the entire office so they can see that I am capable of physically dominating them.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3946
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Michael
And this is more a ying-yang thing. The 'Michael' all cursive, the 'Scott' all caps. Left brain, right brain. Or, duality of man.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3947
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Pam
Could you practice on the forms?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3948
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Dwight
No women or children, unless provoked.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3949
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Jim
Ok, Roy?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3950
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Dwight
Warehouse guy. Doesn't count.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3951
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Jim
Ok. Michael? Could you beat up Michael?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3952
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Michael
Yeah, yeah, I don't think that would happen.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3953
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Dwight
Because we're friends.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3954
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Michael
Because I would kick his ass.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3955
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Jim
Well, Dwight's a purple belt, so...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3956
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Michael
So? I've beaten up black belts.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3957
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Jim
Uh, how did you know they were black belts?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3958
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Michael
They told me. After. You see, I used to run with a very tough crowd. Street Fighter types. Real, real bad people, I'm just lucky I got out.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3959
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Ryan
Is your wife still your contact?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3960
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Toby
Um, ex-wife. Yeah. Um, her last name is 'Becker' now.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3961