Every line from The Office season 2, episode 6, in script order. First aired November 1, 2005.
-
Dwight
Where is my desk?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3862
-
Jim
That is weird.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3863
-
Dwight
This is not funny. This is totally unprofessional.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3864
-
Jim
Ok, well, you're the one who lost the desk.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3865
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Dwight
I didn't lose my desk.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3866
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Jim
Okay, calm down. Where was the last place you saw it?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3867
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Dwight
Okay, who moved my desk?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3868
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Jim
I think you should retrace your steps.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3869
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Dwight
Ok, I am going to tell Michael and this entire office will be punished!
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3870
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Jim
Colder... warmer... little warmer... there you go, ooh, warmer... warmer... warmer... warmer... warmer ... cold, cold, cold, back up... ooh, ooh, warmer, hot, red hot, hot, very hot.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3871
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Dwight
Dwight Schrute.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3872
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Jim
Hi, Dwight, um, what sort of discounts are we giving on the 20 lb white model.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3873
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Dwight
Jim, I've given you this information, like, twenty times.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3874
-
Jim
I know.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3875
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Dwight
It's by the ream?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3876
-
Jim
Uh, yeah, ream.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3877
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Dwight
...now, $9.78, signs and discounts 7%.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3878
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Jim
Ok, thank you, gotta get back to work.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3879
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Dwight
Wash your hands, Kevin.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3880
-
Jim
Right, oh let me just check the pricing list. Hold on one second...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3881
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Dwight
Sensei, hello it's Sempai...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3882
-
Jim
Umm...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3883
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Dwight
Dwight...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3884
-
Jim
You know what, let me give you a call right back. I'm going to uh, find it and then I'll call you back, thanks.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3885
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Dwight
Yes, I just had a ques-... Yes Sensei. Arigatou gozaimashita. Hai.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3886
-
Jim
Was that your mom?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3887
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Dwight
No, that was my Sensei.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3888
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Jim
Oh, I thought it was your mom.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3889
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Dwight
I am now Sempai, which is Assistant Sensei.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3890
-
Jim
Assistant to the Sensei, that's pretty cool.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3891
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Dwight
Assistant Sensei.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3892
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Jim
Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3893
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Dwight
I am a practitioner of Goju Ru Karate, here in Scranton. My Sensei, Ira, recently promoted me to purple belt, and gave me the duties of a Sempai. Not that a lot of people here in America know what a Sempai is, but it is equally as respected as a Sensei.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3894
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Stanley
I don't want to stay until seven again this year.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3895
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Pam
I don't really have any control over that Stanley.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3896
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Pam
Michael tends to procrastinate a bit whenever he has to do work. Umm, time cards, he has to sign these every Friday. Purchase orders have to be approved at the end of every month. And expense reports, all he has to do is initial these at the end of every quarter. But once a year, it all falls on the same Friday and that's today. I call it the Perfect Storm.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3897
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Michael
I don't want to work, I just want to bang on this mug all day.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3898
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Ryan
Did you ask me here for any specific reason?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3899
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Michael
Uhh, yes, I did, here's the dizzle. I have a very top secret mission for you. I want you to update all the emergency contact information.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3900
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Ryan
Why is that secret?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3901
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Michael
Hello, oh God, busy work. Ahh, get away, cretin.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3902
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Pam
Umm, I put stickers so you know where to sign.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3903
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Michael
Yes, thank you. I know where to sign.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3904
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Pam
It's just last year you...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3905
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Michael
Last year they were out of order, weren't they Pam?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3906
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Pam
Well, the last pick-up for overnight deliveries is at seven. So you need to have them signed by then. Or much earlier.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3907
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Michael
Chillax, Pam. Stop Pam-M-S-ing. That's pretty good. Um, actually, I'm sending Ryan on a top secret mission. Tell her what it is.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3908
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Ryan
Updating emergency contacts.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3909
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Pam
Well, is that really a priority?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3910
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Michael
Is it a priority? Oh I don't know, um, what if there is a tornado, Pam? People's legs are crushed under rubble. 'Please, would you be so kind as to call my wife? No, I can't because we don't have any emergency contact information because Pam said it wasn't a priority.' Think. Think with your head, Pam. Ok, well. She walks out. That's the problem with being a boss is that when you are tough they resent you and when you are cool they walk all over you.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3911
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Ryan
Catch-22.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3912
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Michael
Catch-22. Yes. Why don't you give me your contact information to start with, ok, what's your cell?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3913
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Jim
Uh, Larissa Halpert.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3914
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Ryan
What's her address?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3915
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Jim
117 Mount Bergin St.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3916
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Ryan
Hello?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3917
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Michael
Hey Ryan. This is Michael Jackson calling from Wonderland.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3918
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Ryan
Do you mean Neverland?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3919
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Michael
This is Tito.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3920
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Ryan
What?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3921
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Michael
Calling from...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3922
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Pam
You're major and minor lines cross at a ridge - that sucks.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3923
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Jim
You making this up as you go along, aren't you?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3924
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Pam
I am just following the website.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3925
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Jim
Well, at least I don't have cavities.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3926
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Pam
Yes, you have very nice teeth.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3927
-
Jim
Thanks.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3928
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Ryan
Who is your emergency contact?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3929
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Kevin
Stacy.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3930
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Ryan
[looks to see who is calling but doesn't pick up]
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3931
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Michael
Pick up.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3932
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Ryan
Hello?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3933
-
Michael
This is Mike Tyson.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3934
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Jim
Hey, Dwight. As Sempai, do you think there is ever going to be a day where humans and robots can peacefully co-exist?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3935
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Dwight
Impossible. The way they're programmed... You're mocking me.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3936
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Jim
No I'm not.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3937
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Dwight
Look, I'm going to offer you a little piece of advice. I'm not afraid to make an example out of you.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3938
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Jim
Oh, that's not advice. What advice sounds like is this: umm, don't ever bring your purple belt to work because someone might steal it.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3939
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Dwight
Ok, give that back to me.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3940
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Jim
Ok, say please.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3941
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Dwight
No. That is not a toy.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3942
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Jim
Please?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3943
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Dwight
Please?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3944
-
Jim
Good, and it absolutely is a toy. Arigatou.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3945
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Dwight
Arigatou. This is not a toy. This is a message to the entire office so they can see that I am capable of physically dominating them.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3946
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Michael
And this is more a ying-yang thing. The 'Michael' all cursive, the 'Scott' all caps. Left brain, right brain. Or, duality of man.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3947
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Pam
Could you practice on the forms?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3948
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Dwight
No women or children, unless provoked.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3949
-
Jim
Ok, Roy?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3950
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Dwight
Warehouse guy. Doesn't count.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3951
-
Jim
Ok. Michael? Could you beat up Michael?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3952
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Michael
Yeah, yeah, I don't think that would happen.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3953
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Dwight
Because we're friends.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3954
-
Michael
Because I would kick his ass.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3955
-
Jim
Well, Dwight's a purple belt, so...
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3956
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Michael
So? I've beaten up black belts.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3957
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Jim
Uh, how did you know they were black belts?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3958
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Michael
They told me. After. You see, I used to run with a very tough crowd. Street Fighter types. Real, real bad people, I'm just lucky I got out.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3959
-
Ryan
Is your wife still your contact?
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3960
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Toby
Um, ex-wife. Yeah. Um, her last name is 'Becker' now.
Season 2 · Episode 6 · Line 3961