Every line from The Office season 2, episode 5, in script order. First aired October 18, 2005.
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Michael
All right. All right, this is it. By the time I get back to our floor, I will have decided. Wow, that's a fast elevator.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3807
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Michael
I have a proposal, everybody. Listen up. Now, Corporate has been really breathing down my neck to make some pay cuts, but I refuse to fire anyone. So, I was thinking that maybe all of you would take a 10% pay cut and that would save the money. Yeah?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3808
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Stanley
Yeah, We're not doing that. I have kids in college. Make a decision.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3809
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Michael
Okay, great. Fine. Well, then, if anyone is annoyed later at what goes down, you know who to blame. Stanley. Not the guy who was trying to be creative.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3810
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Toby
Michael, it's almost 5:00.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3811
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Michael
Leave me alone, okay?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3812
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Michael
Do you want some coffee?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3813
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Creed
No, no. I had some, thanks.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3814
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Michael
Oh, wow. How long have you worked here? How many years, Creed?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3815
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Creed
Fifteen years, I think.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3816
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Michael
Yeah, that's right. Fifteen years and three months. Wow, you were hired before I was. Must be thinking about retirement.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3817
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Creed
Oh, no. I need the money.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3818
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Michael
Why?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3819
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Creed
What do you mean, 'Why?'
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3820
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Michael
It's just that you never got married and you live in an apartment.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3821
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Creed
I don't know. I got nephews.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3822
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Michael
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3823
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Creed
Yeah. Yeah. And I buy them stuff, you know. Oh, made some bad investments. Why are you asking me this?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3824
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Michael
Just trying to be your friend.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3825
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Creed
Well, you never asked me about my life before, is all.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3826
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Michael
Of course, I did. I always... Yes, I do.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3827
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Creed
Do you have something specific you wanted to talk to me about?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3828
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Michael
Are you pulling my leg or...
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3829
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Creed
No.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3830
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Michael
You have no clue why I've asked you in here?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3831
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Creed
I do not.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3832
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Michael
Oh, here we go. This... um, here's the deal.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3833
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Michael
Yes. Actually, I have. I have been on a hunting trip. I shot a deer in the leg. I had to... I had to hit him, I had to hit him with a shovel for about an hour, so he... That's good eating, though. Venison's very gamey. It's hard to watch, though. It's hard to... It's hard to hit another living thing in the face with a shovel for about an hour. That... I haven't been hunting since then. I, I... 'Cause that's, you know, where's the joy in that? Where's the... There's no sport, really. Especially when you're the one with the shovel. And they're the one just lying there. Um... I would have rather hit it with my car or something and just... I was just smacking the hell out of that thing. That was a mess. And we just left him there. I didn't eat it. I didn't want to eat that. That guy. Why do you ask?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3834
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Jan
This is Jan.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3835
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Michael
His name was Devon.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3836
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Jan
Excuse me?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3837
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Michael
The human being man's name was Devon.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3838
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Jan
Devon. The... Oh, is this the man that you...
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3839
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Michael
Yes, yes, yes.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3840
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Jan
The person that you fired, Michael?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3841
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Michael
Yes, it is.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3842
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Jan
Is that what you're... Okay. Oh, you sound a little... A little upset.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3843
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Michael
Uh, well, I am. A little. Justifiably. My Halloween is ruined.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3844
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Jan
Well, I have to say that I am impressed, Michael. I know... I know how hard that was.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3845
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Michael
Do you? I don't think you do. Devon was one of my best buddies. And now he hates me.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3846
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Jan
Well, I'm glad you did it, Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3847
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Michael
You're glad?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3848
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Jan
And so, good job. Good job.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3849
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Michael
Thanks. Thanks so much. You think it was good?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3850
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Jan
Yeah. Good job.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3851
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Michael
Think I did a good job? Great. I feel good. I'm gonna give myself a pat on the back.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3852
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Jan
Yup. Yes.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3853
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Michael
There. I'm doing it. Right there. Great.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3854
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Dwight
You're supposed to be a cat?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3855
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Angela
Yes.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3856
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Creed
You know, guys, Michael has really incredible decision-making abilities. Michael's really incredible at making decisions.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3857
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Michael
Yeah, blah, blah, blah.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3858
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Dwight
Pussy. Here, pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Here, pussy, pussy. Meow.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3859
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Michael
You people are revolting. By far, the least popular people here. I should have fired you. Who knew Devon was so popular and had so many friends. So well-loved.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3860
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Dwight
I feel like I made the right choice. Things happen for a reason. I wasn't destined to go to Cumberland Mills. Just like Anakin Skywalker was destined to become Darth Vader, I am destined to sell paper here at Dunder Mifflin. That's what I was put on this earth to do.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3861