Every line from The Office season 2, episode 5, in script order. First aired October 18, 2005.
-
Michael
Happy Halloween, everyone! Oh... that's great!
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3507
-
Pam
Hey... Happy Halloween. Jan called.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3508
-
Michael
Ohh... OK.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3509
-
Michael
I know why she's calling. It's the end of the month, and I was supposed to let somebody go by the end of the month. And somehow I'm supposed to put on a costume and smile. Okay.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3510
-
Sherri
Jan Levinson's office.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3511
-
Michael
Hey, Sherri. Michael Scott returning.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3512
-
Sherri
Oh, she's in a meeting. Uh, she just wanted the name of the employee you let go.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3513
-
Michael
Well, I'm gonna wait till the end of the day. Because the book said it's best to wait till the end of the day.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3514
-
Sherri
I just need the name of who you're planning to let go.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3515
-
Michael
I don't know... yet. I will have to call her back.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3516
-
Sherri
I know she wanted the name.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3517
-
Michael
Okay... Sherri?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3518
-
Sherri
Yeah?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3519
-
Michael
If you were getting fired, how would you wanna be told so you could still be friends with the person firing you?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3520
-
Sherri
Jan wants the name as soon as possible, Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3521
-
Michael
Thanks.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3522
-
Sherri
Mm-Hmm.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3523
-
Michael
I'll call her back. Wish I could fire Sherri.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3524
-
Sherri
Hey, I'm still here.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3525
-
Michael
Okay! I'm sorry.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3526
-
Sherri
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3527
-
Michael
No?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3528
-
Sherri
OK.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3529
-
Michael
Bye.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3530
-
Sherri
Hanging up now.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3531
-
Michael
I mean you hear about layoffs in the news, but when you actually have to do it yourself, it is heavy stuff. It's... these are people's lives you're talking about.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3532
-
Pam
You wanted me?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3533
-
Michael
Yes.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3534
-
Pam
Papier-mache?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3535
-
Michael
Yes.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3536
-
Pam
Hmm.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3537
-
Michael
Yeeesh.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3538
-
Pam
Mm-hmm.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3539
-
Michael
Um, Pam, I have to let somebody go today. This is, uh, the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3540
-
Pam
Why did you put it off until Halloween?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3541
-
Michael
Because it's very scary stuff.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3542
-
Pam
I think it's gonna put a damper on the party a little.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3543
-
Michael
You're worried about the party? There's a man's life at stake here.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3544
-
Pam
So it's a man?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3545
-
Michael
No. Or a woman. A human life. If you had to guess, who it would be based on their job performance... and who you think deserved to be fired - who would that be?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3546
-
Pam
I just answer the phone.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3547
-
Michael
And... sometimes you just let it go to voicemail.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3548
-
Pam
You're costume is fantastic!
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3549
-
Michael
I know. I sent away for it in July from a catalog.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3550
-
Pam
Oh no, don't, don't, don't, don't. Aah! Okay...
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3551
-
Michael
Oh, man. Okay, I have to fire somebody.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3552
-
Dwight
What is that?! What are you supposed to be?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3553
-
Jim
I'm a three hole punch version of Jim. 'Cause you can have me either way. Plain White Jim, or Three-hole Punch.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3554
-
Phyllis
That's great!
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3555
-
Jim
Oh, yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3556
-
Dwight
Yeah, well look... What about me?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3557
-
Phyllis
What are you? A monk?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3558
-
Dwight
I am a Sith Lord. Oh big deal. Three round pieces of paper taped to a shirt. This cost me 129 dollars.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3559
-
Phyllis
Ass.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3560
-
Michael
Hey.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3561
-
Oscar
Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3562
-
Michael
You guys excited about the party?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3563
-
Angela
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3564
-
Michael
It's gonna be fun.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3565
-
Kevin
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3566
-
Angela
Yes.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3567
-
Michael
Oh, boy... look at you! Haha. Showing your colors. Bet you wish you wore a dress every day.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3568
-
Oscar
What are you implying?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3569
-
Michael
All good. Happy Halloween. What happened to all those spooky decorations that we had? The cobwebs and such?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3570
-
Angela
You know, I don't know. We put them all up last night.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3571
-
Michael
Well, you know what? Go buy some more. I'll approve the overages. Sound good?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3572
-
Angela
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3573
-
Michael
Good. Oh, yeah, also about budget stuff. Um, I'm going to need you to find, like a, a full employee salary, plus benefits, like fifty grand. I'm going to need you to find 50 grand in the numbers.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3574
-
Angela
But we don't keep two sets of books.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3575
-
Michael
Well, that's not what I'm saying. Just, you know, find it. Pretend that your jobs depend on it.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3576
-
Michael
Mmm-hm-hmm. Interesting take on Dorothy. I love it. Hey, you know what would even be better? Soccer ball and cleats.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3577
-
Kelly
Why is that?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3578
-
Michael
Bend It Like Beckham.'
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3579
-
Kelly
Oh, like ... the movie about the Indian girl who plays soccer?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3580
-
Michael
Yeah. That would be perfect.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3581
-
Kelly
Yeah, I mean, I guess I could do that. I don't really play soccer or anything.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3582
-
Michael
Well, I don't really have two heads. So...
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3583
-
Dwight
Wait, what are you again? Oh, right... Three-hole PUNCH!
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3584
-
Pam
Okay, greatest strength.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3585
-
Jim
Okay, okay...
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3586
-
Pam
A dog-like obedience to authority
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3587
-
Jim
Nice.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3588
-
Pam
But that doesn't sound good.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3589
-
Jim
Okay, okay. Um, how 'bout, the ultimate team player?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3590
-
Jim
Dwight is... special. But, I don't believe that his talents are being used in this office. So Pam and I have put his resume on Monster.com, Google, Craig's List. We're really interested most in jobs that take Dwight out of state. Um, preferably Alaska... or India.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3591
-
Pam
He's a gun nut.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3592
-
Jim
Um. He sticks to his guns.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3593
-
Angela
Well, I looked through all the budgets. And there is one department...
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3594
-
Oscar
Yes?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3595
-
Angela
... that has three people...
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3596
-
Oscar
Yeah?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3597
-
Angela
... doing the work that could be done by two.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3598
-
Oscar
This is great. Oh.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3599
-
Kevin
Yeah. Oh.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3600
-
Michael
Who do you think it should be?
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3601
-
Dwight
Jim. Definitely.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3602
-
Michael
No, Jim brings in money.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3603
-
Dwight
Phyllis.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3604
-
Michael
Eh.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3605
-
Dwight
Stanley. Pam. Oscar. Meredith. Kevin. Angela.
Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3606