Every line from The Office season 2, episode 17, in script order. First aired March 2, 2006.
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Jim
I was thinking more like Europe. Or something like that. But, good second choice.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7713
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Toby
Been to Amsterdam.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7714
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Michael
Oh ho hokay. You know what? That's not a toast. You're not standing up.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7715
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Toby
To Amsterdam.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7716
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Jim
When did you go there?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7717
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Toby
Umm... After my divorce. Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7718
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Jim
Really for like how long?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7719
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Toby
Uh, about a week. Er... .um... .maybe a month. I uh can't...
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7720
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Creed
Jimmy, listen to me. You do not want to go to Amsterdam. Trust me.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7721
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Jim
Where do I want to go?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7722
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Creed
I'd send you to Hong Kong.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7723
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Creed
Like to say 'Hi' to my friends in China.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7724
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Michael
Okay, Dwight. Show us what you have learned today.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7725
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Dwight
Good morning, Vietnam! Okay. You know what? This isn't working. Because um I'm not nervous in front of them. They're my subordinates.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7726
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Jim
No. We're not.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7727
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Dwight
Uh, yes you are. I'm Assistant Regional Manager.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7728
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Jim
Which means absolutely nothing.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7729
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Dwight
Michael, can you explain?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7730
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Michael
Well, it's mostly made up. So...
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7731
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Michael
Dwight is not going to do a job. It's sad. And they're expecting excellence because I did do such a good job. Two years in a row. I killed. It was amazing.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7732
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Michael
Confidence, Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7733
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Jim
Dwight. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7734
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Dwight
I can travel anywhere except Cuba. And I will travel to New Zealand. And walk the 'Lord of the Rings' trail to Mordor. And then I will hike Mount Doom. So... no... just leave me alone.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7735
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Jim
Okay. Just trying to get some advice on my trip.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7736
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Dwight
Oh please! You're not taking any trip.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7737
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Jim
You know I majored in Public Speaking in College.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7738
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Dwight
You did?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7739
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Jim
Mmmhmm. And the first thing they teach you is that you've got to be true to your self. And you are all about authority.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7740
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Dwight
Yes. I am.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7741
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Jim
The great speakers throughout history were not joke tellers. They were people of passion. So if you want to do well today, you got to do what they did.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7742
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Dwight
Which is?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7743
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Jim
You've got to wave your arms and you've got to pound your fists. Many times. It's supposed to emphasize your point.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7744
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Jim
Ok, I didn't actually major in Public Speaking. But, I did download speeches from some of history's famous dictators. Like this one. Originally given by Benito Mussolini.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7745
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Jim
Ok, look. I know you are giving this speech on your own
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7746
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Dwight
I'll glance at it.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7747
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Michael
It's time, Dwight. The grim reaper is here.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7748
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Angela
The very best of luck to you, Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7749
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Dwight
Thank you, Angela.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7750
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Kelly
Why'd you pick the V.A. for the reception?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7751
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Pam
Roy has a connection. It's nicer than you think.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7752
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Ryan
You're inviting Jim?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7753
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Pam
Of course. He's one of my closest friends.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7754
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Michael
All right. You ready? Here we go! Wow. It's a little bit bigger than I remember. Come on. We're down here. Right.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7755
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Overhead
You all ready for this?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7756
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Angela
I am just feeling under the weather. And... I think that I will go home and rest.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7757
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Kevin
I've never, ever seen you take a sick day.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7758
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Angela
Well, I've seen you take enough for the both of us.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7759
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Speaker
Next, I'd like to introduce the Dunder Mifflin Salesman of the Year, Dwight Schrute!
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7760
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Crowd
[polite clapping]
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7761
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Michael
Dwight, they called your name.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7762
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Speaker
Dwight, how we doing?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7763
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Dwight
No, I can't... I ca...
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7764
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Michael
All right. You know what? Okay. No. No problem. You are lucky you have me here. I'm going to cover for you. All right!
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7765
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Crowd
[claps]
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7766
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Michael
Gooood morning, Vietnaaaam! I am not Dwight Schrute. Not at all. I am Michael Scott, his mentor and boss. And until Dwight comes up, if he ever does, I wanted to say a few words about excellence. What makes a work environment excellent? Well, there are many things, I believe, that do such a thing of that nature. And one would be humor. What is the difference between a salesman and a saleswoman?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7767
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Kevin
I always set it at 69.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7768
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Pam
Maybe we'll use a DJ. That's the one thing Roy's in charge of for this wedding but all he's managed to do is set a date.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7769
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Kelly
But he did a great job. June 10th is perfect. I want a June wedding. I've always wanted one. Ryan, do you know when you would want to get married?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7770
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Ryan
Actually, I don't see myself ever getting married.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7771
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Kelly
Oh.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7772
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Pam
Ryan, you should be more sensitive. It's obvious she likes you and comments like that, they just...
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7773
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Ryan
I know what I said.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7774
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Michael
I'm very sorry. I did not know you were wearing a hearing aid and I just thought you were speaking abnormally. ...And now the black guy from the 'Police Academy' movies. A robot. Michael Winslow, anyone?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7775
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Michael
Car starting. All right, Dwight Schrute everyone.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7776
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Crowd
[clapping]
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7777
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Michael
Good luck. That is a tough crowd.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7778
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Dwight
Blood alone moves the wheels of history! Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation, which everyone finds during the day. how long we have been striving for greatness? Not only the years we've been at war, the war of work, but from the moment as a child when we realized that the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime's struggle. A never-ending fight. I say to you and you'll understand that it is a privilege to fight!
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7779
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Crowd
[clapping]
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7780
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Dwight
WE ARE WARRIORS!
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7781
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Crowd
[clapping and cheering]
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7782
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Dwight
Salesman of Northeastern Pennsylvania, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour!
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7783
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Crowd
[clapping and cheering]
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7784
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Dwight
Yeah. Yes!
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7785
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Oscar
I've got a time share in Key West that might be available.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7786
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Jim
Maybe. Thanks.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7787
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Ryan
You really think you're going to go?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7788
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Jim
Yeah. I'm definitely going.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7789
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Ryan
Nice. Send me a postcard.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7790
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Ryan
Jim has worked at the same place for five years. Jim eats the same ham and cheese sandwich everyday for lunch. I don't know. If I were a betting man, I'd say he will have a fun weekend in Philadelphia.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7791
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Dwight
No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7792
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Crowd
[claps]
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7793
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Dwight
Some people will tell you salesman is a bad word. They'll conjure up images of used car dealers and door to door charlatans. This is our duty - to change their perception. I say salesmen... and women of the world unite! We must never acquiesce for it is together, TOGETHER, THAT WE PREVAIL! We must never cede control of the motherland! For it is...
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7794
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Crowd
Together that we prevail!
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7795
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Pam
Australia? I have always wanted to go there?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7796
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Jim
I'm going. I'm a little nervous to run into Dwight on his connecting flight to Mordor. But, other than that... um, yeah, I bought the ticket, non-refundable.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7797
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Pam
That's awesome. Where are you staying?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7798
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Jim
I don't know. I feel like I have plenty of time to figure out the details but...
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7799
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Pam
When are you leaving?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7800
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Jim
I'm... leaving on June 8th.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7801
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Pam
Oh.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7802
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Jim
Yeah. And I'm really sorry about that, I just...
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7803
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Pam
Oh yeah. That's too bad.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7804
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Jim
Yeah. Do you want me to take these on my way out?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7805
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Pam
It's ok. I got it.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7806
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Jim
Alright.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7807
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Dwight
Ok, thanks. There you are. What happened?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7808
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Michael
I got thirsty. How'd it go?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7809
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Dwight
It was amazing. I wish you would have been there.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7810
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Michael
You would not believe what happened here.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7811
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Dwight
What? Something happened?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7812