Michael

Rock it!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5749

Captain Jack

Please, okay?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5750

Michael

If the boat's a-rockin', don't come knockin'!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5751

Captain Jack

Michael.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5752

Michael

Yep.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5753

Captain Jack

Your company's employees are not the only people on the boat tonight, okay?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5754

Michael

We're all gonna have a good time tonight!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5755

Captain Jack

Why don't you let me and my crew do our job. You just sit back and have a good time. All right?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5756

Michael

Hm? Okay. Yep.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5757

Katy

You guys, it's like we're in high school and we're at the cool table. Right?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5758

Roy

Yeah.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5759

Katy

Pam, were you a cheerleader?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5760

Roy

No, she was totally Miss Artsy-Fartsy in high school. She wore the turtleneck and everything!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5761

Katy

That's hilarious.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5762

Jim

It's not hilarious, but...

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5763

Roy

Where did you go to school?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5764

Katy

Bishop O'Hara.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5765

Roy

Piss slop who cares-a? We played you! You... you really look familiar. Did you... you cheered for them, didn't you?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5766

Jim

Um, no.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5767

Katy

Yes, I did! A-W-E-S-O-M-E! Awesome! Awesome is what we are! We're the football superstars! A-W-E-S-O-M-E!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5768

Roy

I remember that! We crushed you like 42-10!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5769

Michael

Having fun?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5770

Brenda

Yeah. Everybody's really nice.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5771

Michael

Good. Well, that is what Scranton is all about. Not like you New Yawkers.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5772

Brenda

When are you going to start the presentation?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5773

Michael

Well, we already sort of started it back at the office and on the dock with the Gilligan thing, so... right now, I was thinking. Yes. Okay, listen up all you Dunder-Mifflinites! I would like to talk to you all about life preservers. Now, one important life preserver in business is IT support.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5774

Captain Jack

Not now, Mike, we're doing the limbo! That's right, partiers, it's time to limbo, limbo, limbo!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5775

Michael

So, okay.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5776

Dwight

Limbo, whoo!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5777

Captain Jack

All right! I need a volunteer to come up here and hold my stick. Who's it gonna be?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5778

Meredith

Me.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5779

Captain Jack

Okay...

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5780

Dwight

Me! Me, me, me.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5781

Captain Jack

Uh... usually it's a woman.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5782

Dwight

I'm stronger.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5783

Captain Jack

Hey, I got an idea! How would you like to steer the ship, Dwight?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5784

Captain Jack

Keep us on a steady course. Keep a sharp eye out. I'm counting on you!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5785

Dwight

I was the youngest pilot in Pan Am history. When I was four, the pilot let me ride in the cockpit and fly the plane with him. And I was four. And I was great. And I would have landed it, but my dad wanted us to go back to our seats.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5786

Captain Jack

All right, all right, that was great! Now it's time for the dance contest!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5787

Michael

But before that, I have to do my presentation.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5788

Captain Jack

Nope! Dance contest!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5789

Michael

All right, we'll have a motivational dance contest! Hit it! Yeah, okay, dancing! It is a primal art form used in ancient times to express yourself with the body and communicate!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5790

Michael

Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that's always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you have to just be the boss of dancing.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5791

Dwight

What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5792

Angela

Hey, come inside and talk to me.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5793

Dwight

I can't. Do you want us to run aground, woman?!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5794

Darryl and Katy

Snorkel shot! Snorkel shot!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5795

Roy

Whoo! Who's next? Come on, Pam! Come on! Come on!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5796

Pam

No, I'm not going to do that.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5797

Roy

Come on!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5798

Darryl

That's what I'm talking about!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5799

Pam

Hey, why don't we find like a quieter place to hang out?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5800

Roy

I've just gotta wait for Darryl to do his shot. Just a minute. Come on! Darryl! Darryl!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5801

Pam

It's getting kind of rowdy down there.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5802

Jim

Yeah. Darryl! Darryl! Darryl!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5803

Pam

Sometimes I just don't get Roy.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5804

Jim

Well...

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5805

Pam

I mean, I don't know. So... what's it like dating a cheerleader?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5806

Jim

Oh, um...

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5807

Pam

I'm cold.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5808

Captain Jack

So, what's this presentation all about?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5809

Michael

Ah! See, this is of general interest. It is about priorities and making decisions, using the boat as an analogy. What is important to you? If the boat is sinking, what do you save?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5810

Captain Jack

Women and children.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5811

Michael

No, no. Salesmen and profit centers.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5812

Captain Jack

That's a stupid analogy.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5813

Michael

Okay, well, obviously you don't know anything about leadership.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5814

Captain Jack

Well, I was the captain of a PC-1 Cyclone Coastal Patrol Boat during Desert Storm.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5815

Dwight

Wow. You should be the motivational speaker.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5816

Michael

Okay.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5817

Dwight

Yeah. He gives me real responsibility, Michael. Captain Jack delegates. He's let me steer the ship for the last hour.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5818

Katy

I'd like to be engaged. How did you manage to pull that off?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5819

Pam

Uh, I've been engaged for three years, and there's no end in sight. So... you don't wanna ask my advice.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5820

Captain Jack

Suppose your office building's on fire. Jim, who would you save?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5821

Jim

Um... let's see, uh... The customer. Because the customer is king.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5822

Michael

Not what I was looking for, but a good thought.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5823

Captain Jack

He's just sucking up!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5824

Roy

When you were in the Navy, did you ever almost die?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5825

Captain Jack

Oh yeah, oh yeah. And I wasn't thinking about some customer. I was thinking about my first wife. The day I got back on shore, I married her.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5826

Jim

You know what? I would save the receptionist. I just wanted to clear that up.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5827

Roy

Hello, everybody, could I have your attention for just a second? Could you listen to me for a second? We were up at the front, and we were talking about what's really important, and... Pam, I think enough is enough. I think we should set a date for our wedding. How about June 10th? Come on, let's do it! Come on, Pam!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5828

Michael

I don't want to take credit for this, but Roy and I were just having a conversation about making commitments and making choices. Right? Did I motivate you?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5829

Roy

No, it was Captain Jack.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5830

Michael

Well... could have been either one of us, because we were pretty much saying the same thing. Congratulations. That is great!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5831

Captain Jack

We gotta celebrate! Hey, I got an idea, I got an idea. I can marry you right now, as captain of the ship!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5832

Michael

Yes! I can marry you as regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5833

Pam

No, no, I want my mom and dad to be there.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5834

Michael

Then I'll give you away!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5835

Pam

No, thank you.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5836

Katy

Do you think that'll ever be us?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5837

Jim

No.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5838

Katy

What is wrong with you? Why did you even bring me here tonight?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5839

Jim

I don't know. Let's break up.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5840

Katy

Whoa. What?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5841

Captain Jack

This is where Captain Jack drives the boat.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5842

Meredith

Wow!

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5843

Dwight

Seasick? Captain Jack says you should look at the Moon.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5844

Michael

Captain Jack is a fart face. I'm on medication.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5845

Brenda

Really? What?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5846

Michael

Vomicillin. Okay. All right. It's time to be boss. It's time to motivate. Let's blow some minds here. Okay, guys, guys, cool it. Everybody, Dunder-Mifflin Scranton employees, Brenda, I have some very, very urgent news I need to tell everybody right now. Listen up. The ship is sinking! Okay? We're going down, right now. Just wrap your heads around the reality of that. Shh, please! Everybody, it's my turn now, okay? Captain Jack is gone. In five minutes, this ship is going to be at the bottom of the lake! And there aren't enough spaces on the lifeboat! Who are we gonna save? Do we save sales? Do we save customer service? Do we save accounting? This is a business scenario. Right? It's a scary... it's a...

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5847

Captain Jack

Hey! Hey! What the hell is going on here?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5848

"Booze Cruise" Quotes (page 2)