Every line from The Office season 2, episode 11, in script order. First aired January 5, 2006.
-
Michael
Rock it!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5749
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Captain Jack
Please, okay?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5750
-
Michael
If the boat's a-rockin', don't come knockin'!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5751
-
Captain Jack
Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5752
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Michael
Yep.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5753
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Captain Jack
Your company's employees are not the only people on the boat tonight, okay?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5754
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Michael
We're all gonna have a good time tonight!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5755
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Captain Jack
Why don't you let me and my crew do our job. You just sit back and have a good time. All right?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5756
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Michael
Hm? Okay. Yep.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5757
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Katy
You guys, it's like we're in high school and we're at the cool table. Right?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5758
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Roy
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5759
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Katy
Pam, were you a cheerleader?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5760
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Roy
No, she was totally Miss Artsy-Fartsy in high school. She wore the turtleneck and everything!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5761
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Katy
That's hilarious.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5762
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Jim
It's not hilarious, but...
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5763
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Roy
Where did you go to school?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5764
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Katy
Bishop O'Hara.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5765
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Roy
Piss slop who cares-a? We played you! You... you really look familiar. Did you... you cheered for them, didn't you?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5766
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Jim
Um, no.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5767
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Katy
Yes, I did! A-W-E-S-O-M-E! Awesome! Awesome is what we are! We're the football superstars! A-W-E-S-O-M-E!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5768
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Roy
I remember that! We crushed you like 42-10!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5769
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Michael
Having fun?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5770
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Brenda
Yeah. Everybody's really nice.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5771
-
Michael
Good. Well, that is what Scranton is all about. Not like you New Yawkers.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5772
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Brenda
When are you going to start the presentation?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5773
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Michael
Well, we already sort of started it back at the office and on the dock with the Gilligan thing, so... right now, I was thinking. Yes. Okay, listen up all you Dunder-Mifflinites! I would like to talk to you all about life preservers. Now, one important life preserver in business is IT support.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5774
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Captain Jack
Not now, Mike, we're doing the limbo! That's right, partiers, it's time to limbo, limbo, limbo!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5775
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Michael
So, okay.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5776
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Dwight
Limbo, whoo!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5777
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Captain Jack
All right! I need a volunteer to come up here and hold my stick. Who's it gonna be?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5778
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Meredith
Me.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5779
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Captain Jack
Okay...
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5780
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Dwight
Me! Me, me, me.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5781
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Captain Jack
Uh... usually it's a woman.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5782
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Dwight
I'm stronger.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5783
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Captain Jack
Hey, I got an idea! How would you like to steer the ship, Dwight?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5784
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Captain Jack
Keep us on a steady course. Keep a sharp eye out. I'm counting on you!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5785
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Dwight
I was the youngest pilot in Pan Am history. When I was four, the pilot let me ride in the cockpit and fly the plane with him. And I was four. And I was great. And I would have landed it, but my dad wanted us to go back to our seats.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5786
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Captain Jack
All right, all right, that was great! Now it's time for the dance contest!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5787
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Michael
But before that, I have to do my presentation.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5788
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Captain Jack
Nope! Dance contest!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5789
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Michael
All right, we'll have a motivational dance contest! Hit it! Yeah, okay, dancing! It is a primal art form used in ancient times to express yourself with the body and communicate!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5790
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Michael
Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that's always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you have to just be the boss of dancing.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5791
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Dwight
What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5792
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Angela
Hey, come inside and talk to me.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5793
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Dwight
I can't. Do you want us to run aground, woman?!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5794
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Darryl and Katy
Snorkel shot! Snorkel shot!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5795
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Roy
Whoo! Who's next? Come on, Pam! Come on! Come on!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5796
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Pam
No, I'm not going to do that.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5797
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Roy
Come on!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5798
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Darryl
That's what I'm talking about!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5799
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Pam
Hey, why don't we find like a quieter place to hang out?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5800
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Roy
I've just gotta wait for Darryl to do his shot. Just a minute. Come on! Darryl! Darryl!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5801
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Pam
It's getting kind of rowdy down there.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5802
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Jim
Yeah. Darryl! Darryl! Darryl!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5803
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Pam
Sometimes I just don't get Roy.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5804
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Jim
Well...
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5805
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Pam
I mean, I don't know. So... what's it like dating a cheerleader?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5806
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Jim
Oh, um...
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5807
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Pam
I'm cold.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5808
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Captain Jack
So, what's this presentation all about?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5809
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Michael
Ah! See, this is of general interest. It is about priorities and making decisions, using the boat as an analogy. What is important to you? If the boat is sinking, what do you save?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5810
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Captain Jack
Women and children.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5811
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Michael
No, no. Salesmen and profit centers.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5812
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Captain Jack
That's a stupid analogy.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5813
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Michael
Okay, well, obviously you don't know anything about leadership.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5814
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Captain Jack
Well, I was the captain of a PC-1 Cyclone Coastal Patrol Boat during Desert Storm.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5815
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Dwight
Wow. You should be the motivational speaker.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5816
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Michael
Okay.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5817
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Dwight
Yeah. He gives me real responsibility, Michael. Captain Jack delegates. He's let me steer the ship for the last hour.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5818
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Katy
I'd like to be engaged. How did you manage to pull that off?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5819
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Pam
Uh, I've been engaged for three years, and there's no end in sight. So... you don't wanna ask my advice.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5820
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Captain Jack
Suppose your office building's on fire. Jim, who would you save?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5821
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Jim
Um... let's see, uh... The customer. Because the customer is king.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5822
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Michael
Not what I was looking for, but a good thought.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5823
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Captain Jack
He's just sucking up!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5824
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Roy
When you were in the Navy, did you ever almost die?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5825
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Captain Jack
Oh yeah, oh yeah. And I wasn't thinking about some customer. I was thinking about my first wife. The day I got back on shore, I married her.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5826
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Jim
You know what? I would save the receptionist. I just wanted to clear that up.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5827
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Roy
Hello, everybody, could I have your attention for just a second? Could you listen to me for a second? We were up at the front, and we were talking about what's really important, and... Pam, I think enough is enough. I think we should set a date for our wedding. How about June 10th? Come on, let's do it! Come on, Pam!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5828
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Michael
I don't want to take credit for this, but Roy and I were just having a conversation about making commitments and making choices. Right? Did I motivate you?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5829
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Roy
No, it was Captain Jack.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5830
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Michael
Well... could have been either one of us, because we were pretty much saying the same thing. Congratulations. That is great!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5831
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Captain Jack
We gotta celebrate! Hey, I got an idea, I got an idea. I can marry you right now, as captain of the ship!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5832
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Michael
Yes! I can marry you as regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5833
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Pam
No, no, I want my mom and dad to be there.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5834
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Michael
Then I'll give you away!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5835
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Pam
No, thank you.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5836
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Katy
Do you think that'll ever be us?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5837
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Jim
No.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5838
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Katy
What is wrong with you? Why did you even bring me here tonight?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5839
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Jim
I don't know. Let's break up.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5840
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Katy
Whoa. What?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5841
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Captain Jack
This is where Captain Jack drives the boat.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5842
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Meredith
Wow!
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5843
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Dwight
Seasick? Captain Jack says you should look at the Moon.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5844
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Michael
Captain Jack is a fart face. I'm on medication.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5845
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Brenda
Really? What?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5846
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Michael
Vomicillin. Okay. All right. It's time to be boss. It's time to motivate. Let's blow some minds here. Okay, guys, guys, cool it. Everybody, Dunder-Mifflin Scranton employees, Brenda, I have some very, very urgent news I need to tell everybody right now. Listen up. The ship is sinking! Okay? We're going down, right now. Just wrap your heads around the reality of that. Shh, please! Everybody, it's my turn now, okay? Captain Jack is gone. In five minutes, this ship is going to be at the bottom of the lake! And there aren't enough spaces on the lifeboat! Who are we gonna save? Do we save sales? Do we save customer service? Do we save accounting? This is a business scenario. Right? It's a scary... it's a...
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5847
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Captain Jack
Hey! Hey! What the hell is going on here?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5848