Every line from The Office season 2, episode 10, in script order. First aired December 6, 2005.
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Dwight
Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5406
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Michael
Oh hey, for me. What is in here? Oh, come on.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5407
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Phyllis
I knitted it for you.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5408
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Michael
An oven mitt? Okay.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5409
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Michael
So Phyllis is basically saying, 'Hey Michael, I know you did a lot to help the office this year but I only care about you a homemade oven mitt's worth.' I gave Ryan an iPod.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5410
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Kevin
Should we just keep opening up the presents?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5411
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Dwight
We don't do anything until Michael gives us further instructions.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5412
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Michael
I got it! We are going to turn Secret Santa into Yankee Swap.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5413
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Jim
What is Yankee Swap?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5414
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Michael
One person chooses a gift. The next person can either choose a gift or steal that person's gift. If your gift gets stolen, then you can steal somebody else's gift or choose a new gift.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5415
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Jim
I thought that was called Nasty Christmas.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5416
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Pam
Yeah, we call it White Elephant.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5417
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Michael
Well, I call it fun!
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5418
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Oscar
Why are we doing this?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5419
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Michael
Because it's better. Because it's more special.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5420
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Angela
It sounds mean.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5421
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Michael
Shut it. No, it's not. Okay, just give it a shot.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5422
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Angela
Michael should have asked the party planning committee first. He's not supposed to just spring things on us out of nowhere.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5423
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Michael
Okay, Meredith is up first. Here's the deal. You can either pick a new gift or you can steal somebody else's gift that they've already gotten, like the oven mitt.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5424
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Meredith
I'll take the teapot.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5425
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Jim
Oh, shouldn't we ... I bought that specifically for Pam.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5426
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Michael
Yankee Swap! That's what makes it fun. Pam, you can steal the oven mitt now.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5427
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Pam
I'll take the iPod.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5428
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Ryan
And I have to give it to her? I don't have a choice?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5429
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Dwight
Yes, now you can steal the oven mitt, the old shirt or the shower radio or pick a new gift.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5430
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Stanley
That was meant for Kelly.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5431
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Ryan
Yeah, I figured.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5432
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Michael
I think this is going great.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5433
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Kelly
Yikes.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5434
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Toby
Well, it's for Angela, so ..
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5435
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Kelly
That's like, the creepiest thing that I've ever seen.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5436
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Dwight
Angela, you're up.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5437
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Angela
I'll take the poster. Some people like these.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5438
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Kelly
I will steal the iPod.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5439
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Michael
Everyone wants the iPod. It's a huge hit. It is almost a Christmas miracle.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5440
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Michael
Oh, well, Oscar, you little gourmand, you have the next turn.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5441
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Oscar
I'll take the ... teapot.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5442
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Meredith
Damn it.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5443
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Dwight
Okay, moving along. Meredith, let's go.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5444
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Meredith
I really want the iPod.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5445
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Dwight
It's already been stolen this round. Pick something else.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5446
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Michael
I hope nobody takes this baby, cause this is great. Wow, look at that fine craftsmanship. Somebody really put a lot of work into that. It's beautiful.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5447
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Meredith
I'll take the oven mitt.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5448
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Michael
Sucker! See, I wanted somebody to take it. Boom! Reverse psychology.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5449
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Michael
Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. I don't know if you guys know about it, but basically you make someone think the opposite of what you believe and that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5450
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Michael
'In addition to these paintball pellets, your gift includes two paintball lessons with Dwight Schrute.'
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5451
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Dwight
You and me, Michael. Yes!
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5452
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Michael
Who wants to take paintball lessons? How is that better than an iPod?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5453
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Dwight
I never said it was better than an iPod.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5454
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Dwight
Michael keeps bragging about his iPod, but you know what? Two paintball lessons with someone as experienced as I am is worth easily, like, 2 grand.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5455
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Dwight
Take that, Saddam!
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5456
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Michael
Last gift. Kevin.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5457
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Kevin
I want the foot bath.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5458
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Kevin
That's the thing I bought myself. I'm really psyched to use it. Maybe I should have taken the iPod. Oh, shoot.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5459
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Dwight
Pam, steal something or pick the final gift.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5460
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Pam
I want the iPod.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5461
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Kelly
Damn it.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5462
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Jim
Sure you don't want the teapot?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5463
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Pam
Well, I mean, it's an iPod. But ..
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5464
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Jim
Right.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5465
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Pam
Sorry, I ..
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5466
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Jim
No. No. Definitely. It's ..
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5467
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Kelly
Okay, well, I guess I will take that book of short stories.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5468
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Dwight
Yes! There you go. I want the teapot. Gracias.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5469
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Jim
Got to be kidding me.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5470
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Dwight
Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets ... Christmas.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5471
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Michael
What is she so upset about?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5472
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Pam
Maybe because you hated her present so much.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5473
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Michael
Come on! I think that Yankee Swap was a big hit! I think it's a success and I'm the one who ended up with Dwight's stupid paintball pellets.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5474
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Jim
Yeah, but, Michael, the point is that we all bought gifts for specific people.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5475
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Stanley
And you should have just bought a $20 gift like everyone else.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5476
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Michael
Well, I didn't. I got a big bonus because I fired Devon, and I used the money to buy something awesome. Sue me!
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5477
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Oscar
You got a bonus check?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5478
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Pam
How much?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5479
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Michael
It wasn't. It wasn't that much. It was $3,000.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5480
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Stanley
All right, I'm done now.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5481
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Michael
Unbelievable. I do the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for these people and they freak out. Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5482
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Liquor Store Clerk
It comes to $166.41.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5483
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Michael
All right, now, you're the expert. Is this enough to get 20 people plastered?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5484
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Liquor Store Clerk
Fifteen bottles of vodka? Yeah, that should do it.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5485
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Michael
Cool, cool. Box it up.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5486
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Jim
I bought this teapot for Pam, and I know she really wants it. So, can I trade you for it?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5487
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Dwight
No trades.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5488
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Jim
Come on, it's a shamrock keychain. Good luck.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5489
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Dwight
A real man makes his own luck.' Billy Zane.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5490
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Jim
Look, it has sentimental value, Dwight. Can I buy it from you?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5491
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Dwight
No. I want it. I'm going to use it.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5492
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Jim
You don't even drink tea.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5493
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Dwight
True. But I get sinus infections, and sinus infections can be cured by making your tea from green tea leaf stems ..
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5494
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Jim
Okay ..
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5495
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Dwight
.. and pouring it directly into your nose, like so.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5496
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Jim
To think that my gift for Pam will be used for that, it's a little too much to handle.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5497
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Roy
This is awesome.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5498
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Pam
I know. It's totally going to change the way I work out.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5499
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Roy
Yeah, I was gonna get you one of these for Christmas, and now I don't have to. I'm gonna save a ton of money.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5500
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Pam
So what are you going to get me instead?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5501
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Roy
I don't know. Probably like, a sweater or something.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5502
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Michael
Uh-oh. Looks like Santa was a little naughty.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5503
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Angela
What is that?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5504
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Michael
This is Christmas spirit, as in spirits, booze.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5505