Every quote from The Office season 2, episode 10, in script order. First aired December 6, 2005.
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Dwight
Go. Get the door.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5306
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Michael
Here we are.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5307
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Dwight
Go. Push!
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5308
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Michael
Oh god.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5309
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Dwight
Push!
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5310
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Michael
No, no, turn it around.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5311
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Dwight
Really shove it.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5312
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Michael
You'll break it.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5313
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Dwight
Shove it through! Break it!
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5314
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Michael
You shove it. Shove it back! Here we go. Don't break the branches, Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5315
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Michael
All right.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5316
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Dwight
I got a splinter.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5317
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Michael
Well, suck it up. We all have problems. Hey, everybody, look what we have! Nice, huh?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5318
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Dwight
I've got it leveraged. Push. Straight up.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5319
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Michael
On three. Ready? Big, one, two, three.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5320
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Dwight
One, two, three.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5321
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Michael
Merry Christmas!
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5322
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Michael
Did it work?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5323
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Kevin
Well, sort of. Why did you get it so big?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5324
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Michael
A, that's what she said, and B, I wanted it to be impressive. The biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5325
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Kevin
But what are we going to do with this hacked off part?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5326
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Michael
Well, that is a perfectly good mini-tree, Kevin. And we are going to sell that to charity. That's what Christmas is all about.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5327
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Jim
So this year, for the first time ever, I got Pam in Secret Santa. And I got her this teapot, which I know she really wants, so she can make tea at her desk. But I'm also going to stuff it with some inside jokes. Like, this is my high school yearbook photo. She saw it at the party, and it really makes her laugh. Not sure why. What else .. ooh. This is a hot sauce packet. She put this on a hot dog a couple years ago because she thought it was ketchup. And it was really funny, so I kept the other two. This would take a little too long to explain, so I won't. And this is the card. Because Christmas is the time to tell people how you feel.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5328
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Angela
Is there anything we're missing? Phyllis, you got the lights?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5329
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Phyllis
Yes, I got those cute little ones. Do you think I should have gotten the big ones?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5330
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Angela
We'll see.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5331
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Ryan
Angela drafted me into the party planning committee. Her memo said that we need to prepare for every possible disaster. Which to me seems excessive.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5332
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Michael
Merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho, pimp. I'm kidding. What do we got, what do we got? How many plates are we getting?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5333
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Angela
Fifty.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5334
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Michael
Double it. Double everything. Double ice cream. Double napkins. Double it. On me.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5335
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Michael
It was a tough year. I had to fire somebody this year. This party has to really rock. Check it out. Christmas bonus. 3,000 G's. I got this for helping save the company money. So I guess some good came out of firing Devon after all. Maybe I should call him and tell him that.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5336
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Michael
I want people to cut loose. I want people making out in closets. I want people hanging from the ceilings, lamp shades on the heads. I want it to be a Playboy Mansion party. And also, I want you to spread the word that I will have my digital camera. And I'll be taking pictures all along the way. And the best and craziest thing that happens will be on the cover of the newsletter. Incentive.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5337
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Pam
You do realize that we can't serve liquor at the party.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5338
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Michael
Yeah, I know. Damn it. Stupid corporate wet blankets. Like booze ever killed anybody.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5339
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Kevin & Oscar
One, two, three.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5340
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Dwight
You guys should use a hand truck.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5341
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Kevin
Do we have one?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5342
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Dwight
No.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5343
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Angela
Will you help me?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5344
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Michael
No! No way! It... no.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5345
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Darryl
Come on, Mike, let me borrow the hat for just a couple of hours.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5346
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Michael
You wanna be Santa?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5347
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Darryl
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5348
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Michael
Have you ever seen Santa?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5349
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Darryl
Yeah, I've seen Santa.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5350
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Michael
Okay.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5351
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Darryl
Who cares?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5352
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Michael
Well, I'm sorry. It just doesn't work.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5353
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Dwight
Michael, I would like to be the elf.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5354
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Michael
That makes sense because he has elfish features.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5355
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Dwight
Okay, everybody listen up! It is time to get your presents, wrap them, and place them under the tree like so. If you do not get your present wrapped and under the tree within the next five minutes you will be disqualified from Secret Santa. All right? No exceptions except Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5356
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Toby
I got Angela. She is into these posters of babies dressed as adults. I got her one of those. I felt kind of weird buying that.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5357
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Oscar
I got Creed. And to tell you the truth, I don't know anything about Creed. I know his name's Creed. I know he works right over there. I think he's Irish and I .. I got him this shamrock keychain.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5358
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Kevin
I got myself for Secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn't.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5359
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Michael
You get something good this year?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5360
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Jim
I think I did a pretty good job.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5361
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Michael
Yeah? Who did you have?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5362
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Jim
Well, I can't tell you cause it's a secret.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5363
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Michael
I think I got something pretty nice for my guy.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5364
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Jim
Yeah?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5365
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Michael
I spent a lot of dough. Lot of dough. Wow.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5366
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Jim
Well, there's a $20 limit, right? So .. ?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5367
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Michael
Yeah. I wanted this party to be really special so I sorta went above and beyond.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5368
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Jim
That's great. Well don't tell me who it is, cause I can ..
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5369
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Michael
It was Ryan. Yeah. I have Ryan.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5370
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Dwight
Gather round. Secret Santa, let's go. Let's go. Come on. Stanley, no, I'm going to handle the cord. Okay, safety reasons.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5371
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Stanley
I know how to plug something in.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5372
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Dwight
I want to do it.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5373
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Michael
All right, let's count it down, like Rockefeller Center. Ready?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5374
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All
Three, two, one.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5375
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Michael
Not great.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5376
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Phyllis
I'm sorry, everybody.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5377
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Pam
I think the tree looks nice.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5378
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Dwight
Hey, I could get some flares from my car.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5379
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Michael
No, no. Shake it off, everybody. Just, let's do Secret Santa.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5380
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Michael
Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It's like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, 'Hey, man, I love you this many dollars worth.'
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5381
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Dwight
First present, Oscar.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5382
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Oscar
Shower radio. Neat.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5383
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Kelly
Oh, good, that was from me.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5384
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Oscar
Thanks, Kelly. You know I was gonna get one of ..
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5385
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Dwight
Okay. Okay. That's enough. Let's keep it moving on. Jim.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5386
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Jim
Oh, cool.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5387
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Creed
That's from me.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5388
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Jim
Great. Where did you get it?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5389
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Creed
I don't know. It was so long ago.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5390
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Jim
He obviously forgot to get me something, and then he went in his closet and dug out this little number and then threw it in a bag.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5391
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Creed
Yep. That's exactly what happened.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5392
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Dwight
Pam.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5393
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Pam
Oh, my god! Thank you very much, Santa, whoever you are. It's awesome.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5394
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Jim
There's a little more to it.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5395
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Dwight
All right, next. Ryan.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5396
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Michael
No, don't!
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5397
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Ryan
Whoa, a video iPod.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5398
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Michael
Whoa. Wow. Jeez. Somebody really got carried away with the spirit of Christmas. That was me, I got a little carried away.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5399
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Ryan
Wasn't there a $20 limit on the gift? This is 400 bucks.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5400
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Michael
You don't know that.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5401
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Ryan
Yeah, you left the price tag on.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5402
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Michael
I did?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5403
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Ryan
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5404
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Michael
What? Oh, shoot. Wow. Okay, well, who cares? It doesn't matter what I spent. What matters is that Christmas is fun, right?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5405