Every quote from The Office season 9, episode 1, in script order. First aired September 20, 2012.
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Pete
Why are you getting rid of it?
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52999
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Angela
Allergies.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53000
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Pete
Your husband?
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53001
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Angela
No, the baby. Please, it's my husband's favorite cat. He's broken up about it. It's the only time I've seen him cry other than our wedding night.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53002
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Oscar
You know what? I will take Comstock.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53003
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Angela
Really? Oh, Oscar, thank you!
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53004
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Oscar
I'll come by after work and pick him up.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53005
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Angela
Yay! Oh, poor Robert. He won't get to say goodbye. He has this business dinner tonight
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53006
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Oscar
C'est la vie.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53007
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Angela
Please don't teach the cat French.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53008
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Oscar
Yeah. Good news, tonight when you come over for dinner, you can play with your old buddy Comstock.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53009
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Pam
You ready?
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53010
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Jim
Yeah. You know what? I'll meet you down there. Just gotta make a quick call.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53011
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Pam
Kay.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53012
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Dwight
Ok.Oh, god.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53013
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Dwight
Attention, employees of Dunder Mifflin. Everyone thinks the new guys are so cool cause they can slack line. Boo. Hey Clark, this is what a areal salesman looks like. They say that you only live once and I'm about to prove it. Dwight Schrute!
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53014
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Jim
Hey, man. It's halpert. Did you go to the other guy yet? Great, don't. I'm in. Yeah, yep, I'm all in. Ok, talk to you soon. Bye. Yeah!
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53015
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Dwight
Woo! Ahh!!
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53016
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Creed
In the parking lot today there was a circus. The copier did tricks on the high-wire, a lady tried to give away a baby that looked like a cat. There was a Dwight impersonator and a Jim impersonator; a strong man crushed a turtle. I laughed and I cried. Not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53017
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Meredith
Crap. Sorry, Nellie.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53018
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Nellie
Once again, I understand that old habits die hard, but if everyone would kindly walk their refuse to the trash bins instead of tossing them, then we would'[hit in the face with trash]
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53019
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Stanley
Mm, swish.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53020
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Nellie
Oh, it's nothing to do with me. I just happen to be sitting near to where the bins are.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53021
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Andy
There are two things that I am passionate about. Recycling and revenge.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53022
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Nellie
Fluke.
Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53023