Every line from The Office season 9, episode 19, in script order. First aired April 11, 2013.
-
Clark
We gotta get a wheelbarrow or something.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58098
-
Dwight
Yes.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58099
-
Dwight
Okay, we're good. We're good. Let's go. Push!
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58100
-
Clark
I am!
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58101
-
Clark
Any good weekend plans?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58102
-
Dwight
I might see a movie.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58103
-
Clark
Nice.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58104
-
Dwight
What about you?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58105
-
Clark
Uh, I don't know yet.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58106
-
Dwight
Let's take him'
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58107
-
Clark
I was thinking about'
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58108
-
Dwight
Let's go right to the top of the stairs, okay?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58109
-
Clark
And then what?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58110
-
Dwight
Okay, listen. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but I've never actually done this before.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58111
-
Clark
Well, if I may, you're a natural.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58112
-
Dwight
Thank you. I mean, I've rehearsed it in my head like 1,000 times, but, uh'
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58113
-
Clark
That's a little weird.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58114
-
Dwight
I know. Evel Knievel.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58115
-
Dwight
[wraps tape around Stanley's body]
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58116
-
Clark
That's about as good as that's gonna be.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58117
-
Dwight
Okay, now here's the plan. I'm gonna launch him. I need you to go to the bottom and catch him.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58118
-
Clark
Catch?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58119
-
Dwight
Yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58120
-
Clark
I can't catch him. He's like, 250 pounds.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58121
-
Dwight
You use your hands and just blunt his descent, okay? He's gonna be moving slowly. It's only'
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58122
-
Clark
Blunt?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58123
-
Dwight
It's 15 feet down, it's at a 45-degree angle. Get set in your haunches, it's like your catching a medicine'
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58124
-
Clark
Dude, this size of my haunches'
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58125
-
Dwight
Okay. Good call. He would have put a hole in your chest same as he put a hole in that wall.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58126
-
Clark
We should probably call a doctor or something, dude.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58127
-
Dwight
You okay?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58128
-
Jim
So how does it work? It's like, you know, the action of talking to a third party breaks up the log jam, or'
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58129
-
Toby
You're really there to talk to each other. I would say that the therapist is more of a facilitator.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58130
-
Jim
Mm-hmm.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58131
-
Toby
He might start by asking each of you, 'Why do you think you're here?'
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58132
-
Pam
He took this job in Philly without telling me. He bought our house without telling me. At a certain point, he shouldn't be rewarded for that.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58133
-
Jim
If I didn't do certain things without telling Pam, she'd be married to Roy.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58134
-
Pam
I feel like he's always making these decisions for the family, and then I'm left playing catch-up.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58135
-
Jim
If she can just hang on for a little while longer, I'this will be so huge for our family.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58136
-
Toby
Well, what's a little while?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58137
-
Jim
What do you mean?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58138
-
Toby
I mean, what's the end date? It must be really hard for her to sign on to be unhappy if she doesn't know when it's gonna end.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58139
-
Jim
That's kind of an impossible question.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58140
-
Erin
Oh, guys, it's starting! Hurry!
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58141
-
Kevin
Ooh, there's Angela! I work with her!
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58142
-
Andy
Huh, yeah. I mean, I'm happy Angela's the first one getting famous, but it's a little weird, no? I mean, she can't sing or act, so it's actually kind of insane, if you think about it.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58143
-
Phyllis
Her hair looks beautiful.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58144
-
Andy
Yeah, we get it, Phyllis, she looks like a freakin' movie star!
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58145
-
Erin
Andy!
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58146
-
Robert
I would just to start by saying that there have been some rumors about my personal life that I would like to settle once and for all. As my long-suffering wife can attest' I am gay.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58147
-
Crowd
[surprised chatter]
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58148
-
Reporter #1
Senator, were always gay, or did your wife turn you gay?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58149
-
Reporter #2
Question for the Senator's beard.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58150
-
Robert
I'll say it again for mis amigos latinos. Yo soy homosexual.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58151
-
Pete
Poor Angela.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58152
-
Phyllis
Yeah. Poor Angela.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58153
-
Robert
I once believed that a gay person could be somewhat straight. It wasn't until my marriage to Angela that I realized how'charmless I find the female body.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58154
-
Meredith
Oof. Always hurts to hear that one.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58155
-
Robert
There's someone else I need to thank. His name is Oscar Martinez.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58156
-
Andy
Come on!
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58157
-
Robert
Oscar is the one who opened my eyes to who I really am. For the first time'
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58158
-
Erin
Oscar is with the Senator too?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58159
-
Kevin
Yes! And I knew it the whole time! I kept the secret. I kept the secret so good. You didn't know, you didn't know, and you didn't freaking know. But I knew!
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58160
-
Oscar
He knew!
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58161
-
Kevin
Yes, we did it!
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58162
-
Oscar
You did it, Kevin.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58163
-
Kevin
Yes! Ohh! I did it. Ohh, I did it.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58164
-
Robert
--with this new self-awareness, I was finally able to find love at long last. With my amazing' Chief of Staff Wesley Silver.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58165
-
Oscar
What?!
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58166
-
Creed
Wesley Silver's gay?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58167
-
Crowd
[surprised chatter]
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58168
-
Angela
[gasps]
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58169
-
Kevin
Ohh.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58170
-
Creed
They make a nice couple.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58171
-
Angela
[gags]
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58172
-
Dwight
Almost there. Almost there. Okay. We're running late. Let's get him inside.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58173
-
Clark
We can't just leave him bubble wrapped like this.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58174
-
Dwight
Are you kidding me? The bubble wrap is the only thing that's stopping his suit from getting wrinkled. These meetings are all about presentation.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58175
-
Clark
That's actually really smart.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58176
-
Dwight
Thank you.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58177
-
Clark
God, if only there was any other use or situation for that kind of knowledge.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58178
-
Dwight
Let's get him inside.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58179
-
Andy
Carla Fern is not just an actor's agent. She does writers, directors, travel, and real estate.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58180
-
Andy
Actor?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58181
-
Man
Oh, no. Well, I have an act. Dog, cat, mouse.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58182
-
Andy
Yeah, wow, cool. Is it hard to train them to do that?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58183
-
Man
Eh, you go through a lot of mice.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58184
-
Man
If started by accident as these things tend to do. You know, I was setting down my cat, and I accidently put her on top of my dog, and I was, like, so mad at myself at first. And then I was, like, wait. Wait a second.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58185
-
Andy
Does anything go on top of the mouse?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58186
-
Man
Yeah. Little hat.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58187
-
Andy
Aw, that's cute.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58188
-
Man
Yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58189
-
Andy
What's the mouse's name?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58190
-
Man
Eh, you know, it really doesn't make sense to name the mice. They're kinda like cannon fodder, you know? You're not one of those PETA guys , are you? Oh, great.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58191
-
Clark
Hey, wait, wait, how'how are we doing this?
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58192
-
Dwight
Well, I'll grab the forelegs, and you push his hindquarters.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58193
-
Clark
Just say 'arms' and 'legs,' okay? That just'that's the vernacular that I'm comfortable with.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58194
-
Dwight
Fine, let's go.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58195
-
Clark
[sighs]
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58196
-
Dwight
Hoist his shank on three.
Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58197