Every line from The Office season 9, episode 18, in script order. First aired April 4, 2013.
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Pam
Cheers.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57880
-
Angela
Alright, how much have you revealed on camera about your relationship with the senator?
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57881
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Oscar
They caught us kissing on Halloween.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57882
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Angela
Oh! He was dressed like Ronald Reagan!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57883
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Oscar
Oh!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57884
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Angela
God!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57885
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Oscar
Angela! Well he kissed like Jack Kennedy!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57886
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Angela
Oh! Stop it! Stop kissing him! Someone needs to call and warn him. This could ruin his career.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57887
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Oscar
Well, I don't like giving him bad news.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57888
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Angela
Call him!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57889
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Oscar
You call him!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57890
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Angela
Call him!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57891
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Oscar
Stop hitting me!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57892
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Angela
Call him! Call him!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57893
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Oscar
No!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57894
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Brian
So...
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57895
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Pam
So..
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57896
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Brian
What brings you by?
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57897
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Pam
Well, the promo for the documentary aired today.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57898
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Brian
Oh yeah, that's right.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57899
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Pam
Yeah. It's kinda crazy.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57900
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Brian
Yeah, it is.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57901
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Pam
See all this like old stuff, like um, there's that shot of Jim and I up on the roof?
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57902
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Brian
Oh yeah, that was, that was a good moment.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57903
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Pam
Yeah, wasn't that neat?
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57904
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Brian
Yeah, it was cool.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57905
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Pam
Yeah, and there's this one when we were listening to music and it's like, it's like w were in love and we didn't even know we were in love and it's...but- Do you think Jim's changed?
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57906
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Brian
Um...
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57907
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Pam
I'm sorry. Did that? That was out of the blue-
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57908
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Brian
No no, it's-
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57909
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Pam
I just mean because you know us and you like observed us for ten years and I feel like he's- I just feel like...he's so into his work right now and....I don't know, am I crazy?
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57910
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Brian
No, you're not crazy.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57911
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Pam
Well, I wish that made me feel better. Listen, so everybody saw the promos and they're kinda freaking out. Cause it seems like you got a lot of private stuff on camera-
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57912
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Brian
Yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57913
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Pam
You know, stuff people didn't intend for everyone to see. And they kinda want to know how much.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57914
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Brian
They want to know how much what?
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57915
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Pam
How much stuff you got.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57916
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Brian
Pretty much everything.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57917
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Pam
Well yeah, but what if we turned our mike packs?
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57918
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Brian
They've got parabolic mikes, they can pick you up a hundred yards away, so...no if you were around there, they got you.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57919
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Pam
So we basically had no privacy for ten years.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57920
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Brian
That's not really true, I mean-
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57921
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Pam
Um...yeah, I gotta, I gotta go.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57922
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Brian
Oh no, hang on a second. Pam, I'm sorry, I- I- I can explain this so much better.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57923
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Pam
No I think you explained it.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57924
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Brian
Look, if you give me a chance I can, I- Pam.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57925
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Jim
'Together we will win this baseball game against the evil space Yankees. Eat Fresh.'
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57926
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Ryan Howard
That'll pay for the exploding helicopter.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57927
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Jim
Smart.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57928
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Ryan Howard
'Suddenly, the evil thugs break in to the stadium. The Big Piece hits baseballs at the evil thugs.'
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57929
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Jim
'Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks.'
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57930
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Ryan Howard
Come on man, sell it!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57931
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Darryl
Yeah, Jim.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57932
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Jim
'Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks!'
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57933
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Ryan Howard
Yeah, that's better. A bunch of hot women go: 'Oh yeah!'
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57934
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Jim
'Megan, I was too shy to tell you this when I was just a normal professional baseball player, but I love you.'
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57935
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Ryan Howard
'They kiss. It is super emotional. Like in Toy Story.'
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57936
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Jim
Wow. I tell you what, it's really strong. I can't wait to read the rest of it later and see how it ends.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57937
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Darryl
It's so strong.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57938
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Ryan Howard
Keep reading then.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57939
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Jim
'Gotta go! Darth Vader's launching a huge attack.'
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57940
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Ryan Howard
Um another thing. I'm gonna need you to get me the rights to Darth Vader.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57941
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Jim
I don't know how we'd go about doing that.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57942
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Darryl
We can look into it.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57943
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Jim
We'll look into it.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57944
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Ryan Howard
We need Darth.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57945
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Jim
We gotta get him.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57946
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Darryl
We'll go after Darth then.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57947
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Jim
We're gonna go get him.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57948
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Darryl
That's what we gotta do.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57949
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Jim
We're gonna get him.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57950
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Dwight
Maybe you're right. Esther's a ten and the best I've ever done is Angela who's a nine and she rejected me.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57951
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Clark
A Scranton nine, but yeah, point taken. Hey, let's go out tonight and just score a couple fours huh? I mean there are no games with fours.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57952
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Dwight
Who needs a new tractor anyway? Maybe we're the kinda guys who end up with a tractor that's already been rode hard and put away muddy.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57953
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Clark
Screw new tractors. Guys like us, we gotta plant our seed a different way.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57954
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Dwight
By hand.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57955
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Esther
Dwight, we need to talk.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57956
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Dwight
I don't know that there's anything left for us to talk about, Esther.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57957
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Esther
Look, we're gonna have the tractor for the same amount of work days but my dad is planning on leasing it to the Vanderkirk brothers on the weekends.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57958
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Dwight
No.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57959
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Esther
So you're going to be paying more, but he's putting on ten times the miles and he's pocketing a profit behind your back.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57960
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Dwight
That snake!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57961
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Esther
You need to tell him you want a deal based on miles or he can just stick that tractor where the sun don't shine.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57962
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Dwight
That shady grove out by Willard's pond.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57963
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Esther
Mmhm.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57964
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Dwight
So, you're fine with me not leasing the tractor? I mean, our courtship can proceed?
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57965
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Esther
Of course. You didn't just think I was tractor bait, did you?
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57966
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Dwight
No!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57967
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Clark
Hey Dwight, what's an auger used for?
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57968
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Dwight
Post hole digging.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57969
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Esther
Stupid.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57970
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Senator
You've reached Senator Robert Lipton, please leave a message.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57971
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Angela & Oscar
Hi honey!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57972
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Oscar
Oh you?
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57973
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Angela
No you go. Hi honey!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57974
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Oscar
Hey, Hey Robert!
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57975
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Angela
It's Angela and Oscar.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57976
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Oscar
Hey.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57977
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Angela
Just a few quick things.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57978
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Oscar
Um the documentary's going to be airing soon, and, and you look great in the promos.
Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57979