Every line from The Office season 9, episode 15, in script order. First aired February 7, 2013.
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Andy
What?!
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56900
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Clark
Yeah. And, uh, Kathy Ireland signed on as the official spokes-babe of Dunder-Mifflin.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56901
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Andy
No kidding?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56902
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Clark
Yeah. In the European billboards, she's gonna be topless.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56903
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Andy
Wow. Go Kathy. She's like 50.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56904
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Clark
They're tasteful.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56905
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Andy
Good, good. What else?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56906
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Andy
Who knew the balloon game would be so lucrative? And thank god, right? We needed the income after the fire.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56907
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David Wallace
What fire?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56908
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Andy
The warehouse fire. Weren't you just down there? It's like burnt to ashes.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56909
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David Wallace
It looked fine to me.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56910
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Andy
I am speaking metaphorically, of course. You know I have lots of irons in quote-unquote fire. Well, that's one of them. You know, making sure that the warehouse logistics is a well-oiled, properly-stoked fire.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56911
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David Wallace
OK.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56912
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Andy
I think you'll agree I explained that pretty well.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56913
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David Wallace
Thanks, Andy.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56914
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Andy
Thank you.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56915
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David Wallace
All right. Everyone!
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56916
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Erin
Fish sounds great.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56917
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Andy
Yeah, I guess.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56918
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Erin
Really playing the scales, huh?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56919
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Andy
Yeah, it just sort of sounds like noise to me now. You think I need a new fish?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56920
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Erin
I don't love you anymore.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56921
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Andy
What?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56922
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Erin
I still like you, but you were gone a really long time. And, you didn't really email me all that much. You retweeted me, a lot to be fair. But I don't love you.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56923
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Andy
OK, I get it. You're unhappy. I've been gone a long time and we lost a little bit of juju. But, you and me, we have a future. There is a lot of love here.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56924
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Erin
I just said there isn't love.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56925
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Andy
On your side. But there's tons on my side. It's gushing. We're just out of sync right now. But that's just timing, it's timing. I mean, my parents lasted 38, 40 years. They were never happy at the same time.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56926
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Erin
I guess.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56927
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Andy
I mean, what do we have left? 35, maybe 40 years? If we're lucky. I mean, I have spent a lot of time in the sun.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56928
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Erin
You got really sunburned.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56929
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Andy
I'm gonna be a prune in like, 3 years.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56930
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Erin
Ugh.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56931
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Andy
I know you may not be feeling love for me right now but, if you fake it, I won't be able to tell the difference. So, I'll feel good. And then, eventually, maybe, you'll actually start to love me again.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56932
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Erin
You really think we can get that back?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56933
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Andy
Yes. Come on. Totally.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56934
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Jim
You know what? Maybe we should cancel that bottle of wine tonight.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56935
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Pam
Oh?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56936
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Jim
Yeah. I just feel like I got a bunch of stuff to do in Philly and I'm sure you have stuff to do. So we can just... I don't know, drop me at the bus station?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56937
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Pam
Are you sure?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56938
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Jim
I just feel like we're gonna fight.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56939
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56940
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Jim
So... how 'bout let's not?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56941
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Pam
OK.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56942
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Jim
Oh, um. Happy Valentine's Day. Sorry, I didn't have time to wrap it.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56943
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Pam
Wow. I didn't know you kept this.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56944
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Jim
Yeah, yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56945
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Pam
Thank you.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56946
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Jim
No problem.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56947
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Pam
I don't think you should go to Philly tonight. I think that you should stay and I think we should fight.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56948
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Jim
You really wanna fight on Valentine's Day?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56949
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Pam
Yeah, I do.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56950
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Jim
OK. All right, put your dukes up, Beesly.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56951
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Erin
Hi.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56952
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Pete
Hey, you OK?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56953
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Erin
I couldn't do it.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56954
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Pete
Oh.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56955
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Erin
I'm sorry.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56956
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Pete
Oh, you don't have to apologize. I just... I just want you to be happy. OK?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56957
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Erin
We're breaking up. And just so you know, I was worried that you were dead. You were gone for three months.
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56958
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David Wallace
Hey, Andy. It's David. Still here. What was that about three months?
Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56959