Every line from The Office season 9, episode 11, in script order. First aired January 17, 2013.
-
Wade
Okay
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55710
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Jim
Actually, you know what? Give me one second, okay? Make yourselves at home.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55711
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Dwight
'But I think that all of your concerns will be answered when you see the brochure that Clark's getting out of my car. He's a good boy, does whatever I say.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55712
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Suit Store Father
I can't relate to that, my son hates my guts.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55713
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Dwight
Oh' really.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55714
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Suit Store Father
Bring him into the business, and he resents me. How do you like that?
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55715
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Dwight
Well, things between me and Clark are good, but not great. In fact, I will say that they're not even good. Really, they're bad. Like you and your son.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55716
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Clark
Here you go, Pop! I know it was just a couple minutes, but' God I missed you!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55717
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Dwight
What took you so long? Were you loitering out there like a hooligan, smoking a doobie?
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55718
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Clark
I sure was. Just like he taught me, looking cool.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55719
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Dwight
You're being disrespectful!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55720
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Clark
'And I love you, for saying that.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55721
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Dwight
We don't get along.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55722
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Clark
Ha ha! I just burned him. Because the truth is' our relationship is' terr-
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55723
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Dwight
Terrible!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55724
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Clark
Terrible.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55725
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Dwight
Yes! Genius. Stupid, stupid genius!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55726
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Pam
Wow, this place is' so great. I had no idea ' on the phone, you made it sound kind of dinky.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55727
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Jim
Well, I mean, I don't even have the paycheck yet. It is a startup, so' These things go down all the time.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55728
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Darryl
If this company's going down, I wanna go down on it. With it. I wanna go down with it.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55729
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Jim
Are you cool to just hang out?
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55730
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Pam
Sure, no problem.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55731
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Jim
Yeah? You ready?
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55732
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Darryl
Yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55733
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Jim
Let's do it!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55734
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Erin
The pen delivery went amazing, and now I've got all these pens just waiting to be unpacked. But Pam did not tell me to unpack the pens, and I'm not one of those people who's just like, 'Uh, sure. I'll accept the pens when they come in, and then as soon as your back's turned, I unpack the pens and get all this credit as some great pen unpacker. On the other hand' they are just sitting here. Pam didn't tell me not to unpack them. Don't want to be a busybody, but I don't want to be a lazybones. Busybody, lazybones. Busybody, lazybones. Ahh! My brain is ping-ponging around in my head right now, it's insane! I'm sorry, what was your question again? Oh yeah, no. I've never had an espresso before. They're good though.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55735
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Nellie
A-bam! My favorite is Viennese Amaretto. And the worst flavor I've tried so far is Alpine Select!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55736
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Kevin
Yes!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55737
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Angela
Ugh!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55738
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Kevin
One!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55739
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Angela
Kevin! Kevin! Kevin!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55740
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Kevin
Two'
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55741
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Angela
Stop it!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55742
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Kevin
Three'
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55743
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Oscar
That's enough Kevin.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55744
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Angela
Stop it Kevin!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55745
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Kevin
Four!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55746
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Oscar
That's enough!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55747
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Angela
Kevin!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55748
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Clark
So for your menswear catalogue, I think we can offer you some very competitive pricing.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55749
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Suit Store Father
I heard that before'
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55750
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Clark
Well, I understand, but '
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55751
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Dwight
I bet you have. He knows nothing about what people have heard before, my son.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55752
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Clark
Here we go again, another lecture from the old man.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55753
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Suit Store Father
Listen to him. He created you.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55754
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Dwight
Maybe if you listened a little bit, you'd improve. No wonder women despise you.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55755
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Clark
Women don't despise me'
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55756
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Dwight
His last girlfriend was a transvestite. I knew it right away. Adam's apple like the prow of a ship, thumbs like a lowland gorilla. Ha, but this one couldn't see it, or didn't wanna see it.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55757
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Clark
Alright, that's enough, 'cause I can say some things about him too.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55758
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Dwight
Yeah? Like what?
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55759
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Clark
Like the time that you got drunk and, and then' Killed those kids on their way to prom!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55760
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Dwight
That never happened. He's always been a liar. Ever since he was a little kid. He got caught 'saving treats' from the kitty litter box.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55761
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Suit Store Father
Really shameful'
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55762
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Clark
So we can offer you matte or glossy printing-
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55763
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Dwight
Glistening brown morsels tumbling from every pouch in his trousers.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55764
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Clark
There's obviously a volume discount uh, if you-
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55765
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Dwight
Following the cat around on his knees with his hands cupped beneath its tail, going 'please kitty, may I have some more?' You can't make this stuff up!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55766
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Clark
No, I think someone could make it up. Someone with very few friends.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55767
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Suit Store Son
Hey fellas, sorry to keep you waiting.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55768
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Suit Store Father
Here he is, my son.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55769
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Dwight
Got cat turd collector written all over him.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55770
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Suit Store Son
'Did you say cat turd collector?
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55771
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Athlead Employee
...So definitely looking to expand our market, but for now we're just concentrating on athletes that are popular here in the northeast. Of course, that's not a mandate.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55772
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Darryl
'Mandate'- Always think of two men on a date. I have gay friends' I have one gay friend. Oscar?
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55773
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Jim
Mm-hm
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55774
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Athlead Employee
Alright, so what makes you think you'd be a good fit here?
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55775
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Darryl
Ummm' Alright. Obviously y'all look really busy, and uh, I don't want to waste your time anymore. Sorry, I just uhh' Obviously I'm not qualified to be here man, I'm' I'm a warehouse manager, you know'
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55776
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Athlead Employee
Darryl, I was a newspaper editor.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55777
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Female Athlead Employee
Science teacher, volleyball coach.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55778
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3rd Athlead Employee
I work at a home shopping network.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55779
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4th Athlead Employee
I'm a laywer. I'm the only one here who can honestly help.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55780
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Jim
And as you know, I was a paper salesman. Hey, I find it helps if you just picture everybody naked.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55781
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Darryl
Cool. Hey, thanks'
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55782
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Athlead Employee
So how about we start over, hmm? Darryl, do you have any thoughts on the company?
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55783
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Darryl
Yes, as a matter of fact, I uh' I wrote some down. There you go. Wow, this guy came prepared, it impresses me!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55784
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Stanley
Ah! So, this is what 2:00 P.M. looks like around here!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55785
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Stanley
I usually take a siesta about now.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55786
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Pete
Stocking pens, huh? You're like the new office administrator.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55787
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Erin
No, I just took over the pen shipment because Pam had to leave. When I say it out loud, I know that sounds insane, but it's the truth, I swear.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55788
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Kevin
Pam! Pam, look out! Erin's gunning for your job!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55789
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Erin
No, I'm not! It's not like that at all! Forget it, I'm so sorry.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55790
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Kevin
Pam, look out!
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55791
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Erin
Pens, you did not buy into this. I am sorry, what a day you've had.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55792
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Athlead Employee
By the way, Jim talks about you all the time.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55793
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Pam
That's sweet that he talks about me.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55794
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Athlead Employee
It's too bad he still hast to work part time in Scranton though'
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55795
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Pam
Well, that's funny because I think of him as working part time in Philadelphia.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55796
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Athlead Employee
We can't wait until you move here.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55797
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Suit Store Son
I'm sorry, you guys are here to sell us paper?
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55798
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Dwight
Do you mind? The men are talking.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55799
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Suit Store Father
Sons used to idolize their fathers.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55800
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Dwight
Us old timers need to stick together. And how better than by signing a contract?
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55801
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Suit Store Father
I'd love to! Sam Junior here, he runs the business now. Kind of pushed me out, truth be told. I'm just here for human contract.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55802
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Suit Store Son
Okay Pop'
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55803
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Dwight
Wait, so you're the boss?
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55804
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Suit Store Son
That's right.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55805
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Clark
Hi, I'm Clark.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55806
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Suit Store Son
Hey.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55807
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Clark
Let's talk.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55808
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Suit Store Son
Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55809