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Stone & Son Suit Warehouse contract expired with their paper provider! Go get it! 'David Wallace

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55610

Dwight

Stone and Son Suit Warehouse recently lost their paper provider. They're a family owned business. Jim and I used to clean up at those. We'd go in pretending to be family ' brothers. We did it at a family owned law firm, at a family owned construction company, and a family owned motorcycle store. Jim and Dwight Shrupert. I was the dynamic, likeable winner that was doted upon by Mom. And Jim was the closeted foot fetishist pretending to belong. The client never knew any of that, but I knew.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55611

Dwight

I hope you've been paying your wig storage bills Jimbo, because it's time for another episode of 'Handsome and Stinky, paper brothers for hire'.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55612

Jim

Sorry, Stinky, can't do it. Too busy.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55613

Dwight

Oh, god, this again? You're Stinky.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55614

Jim

Okay. There's no possible way I can get there, so just ask Phyllis. She can be your older sister or something.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55615

Dwight

Phyllis, my sister? More like my dead great great grandmother who died of stupidity.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55616

Phyllis

I have ears, Dwight.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55617

Dwight

Oh, do you really have ears, Phyllis? Like all human beings? We all have ears. See what you leave me with here, Jim?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55618

Jim

Hey, I'm in Philadelphia right now.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55619

Dwight

How is that my problem? Get in your car and drive down here. You can make it in 30 minutes if you drive 240 miles per hour.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55620

Jim

Huh. How long would it take me if I drove 300 miles an hour?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55621

Dwight

Mmm. That's a good' question. 300 times' 180' Um that comes to 25 minutes. Yes. Oh, well, thank you Jim. Yes, I am better than you. Thanks for acknowledging that. Okay, bye bye. Love you.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55622

Nellie

Darryl, looking good!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55623

Darryl

Heading to Philly. Interview with Jim's company.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55624

Pam

Hey, good luck. When you get to Philly, will you tell Jim I miss him?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55625

Darryl

Why don't you come along and tell him yourself?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55626

Pam

Ha ha. That'd be great. Kind of like ditching school, except instead of getting suspended, you get' What do you get? Oh my god! Why didn't I think of this? Andy's not here. Oh, hey, Erin, um, I'm expecting a shipment of pens. Can you cover that?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55627

Erin

Mhm. Cover that. What does that mean, exactly? What are we talking here? Details.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55628

Pam

A delivery guy will deliver a box of pens, and you just make sure everything's in order.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55629

Erin

What? Everything? What, how do I make sure it's in order? I haven't been trained for this.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55630

Pam

Okay, see you later.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55631

Clark

Hey guys.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55632

Phyllis

Clark!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55633

Meredith

Hey!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55634

Oscar

Hey, look who's back, Dwight Junior.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55635

Kevin

Hey, so how was it? I mean' the sex with Jan.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55636

Clark

A gentleman doesn't discuss such matters. Especially when the feelings of a lady are involved.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55637

Clark

Women reach their sexual peak at whatever age Jan was last week. I mean it was' like making love with a wild animal. But not like a cougar like you might think. It was uh' like a swarm of bees. Bees that just find something wrong with every hotel room.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55638

Meredith

Nothing wrong with being a gentleman. Like my mom used to say, 'Talk classy, act nasty'.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55639

Clark

What's with the wig Meredith?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55640

Meredith

What, is it on backwards?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55641

Clark

Nope, you got it. You fixed it. Uh, I have a gift from Jan. It's an espresso maker! We came to be quite fond of espresso on the Amalfi Coast so' bon appetite.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55642

Phyllis

Ooo! 16 types of espresso! Now that's Italian.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55643

Oscar

My friend has one of these. Fool-proof espresso every time.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55644

Meredith

Always with the friends Oscar. Can't we just enjoy the new espresso machine?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55645

Oscar

Actually, it's pronounced 'espresso'' Wait. That's what you said. I apologize, I just assumed you would mispronounce it. So'

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55646

Dwight

There he is! We are all so proud of you for the small part that you played in landing the white pages. Prouder of me, but'

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55647

Clark

If you really want to show appreciation, just give me half the commission.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55648

Dwight

Gosh, you know, I wish I could but, uh' No. Hey, listen, remember how everyone used to call you Dwight Junior and how much you loved that?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55649

Clark

I loved it.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55650

Dwight

How would you like to pretend to by my son in order to land a sale?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55651

Clark

If it'll lead to me being a salesman, I'll pretend to be your friend.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55652

Dwight

Then looks like we have a deal' Son

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55653

Erin

Hi guys!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55654

Pete

Hey, look who it is!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55655

Erin

Sorry. Super-busy. Pens coming in later, just grabbing a Java before all hell breaks loose.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55656

Oscar

Try this one.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55657

Erin

Thank you!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55658

Erin

I don't really have time to think about Pete right now. I just have a lot going on with this whole shipment of pens. And I have a lot of people trusting me, and I would feel super guilty if I broke anyone's trust. About the pens.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55659

Pam

You ready for your interview?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55660

Darryl

I was born ready! No, I suck at interviews. I had Andy's job in the bag until my interview.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55661

Pam

Well, you shouldn't be nervous about this. This is a tiny start-up with a bunch of guys just as dorky as Jim.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55662

Darryl

Yeah, I guess'

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55663

Pam

Really, you can't be scared of a room full of Jims. I love the guy, but he's basically Gumby with hair.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55664

Suit Store Father

It's kind of funny, a father and son sales team meeting with a father and son suit store.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55665

Dwight

You know, you're right! We hadn't even thought of that, had we boy?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55666

Clark

No, we sure hadn't Pop.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55667

Dwight

Oh! You're a hunter I see. Spend your early mornings out in the blinds, like Clarky and me. Huh?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55668

Clark

He calls me Clarky 'cause he's my Dad.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55669

Dwight

Guilty!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55670

Suit Store Father

You don't meet many hunters these days.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55671

Clark

My dad is the best hunter there is. I mean, he's like a serial killer' of animals. One time, he snuck up behind a sleeping deer and just sawed its head right of. It was sick!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55672

Dwight

It was his birthday, just turned three. So'

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55673

Suit Store Father

Ahh'

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55674

Oscar

You guys, I kind of think I want to try them all. Is that crazy?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55675

Nellie

No. Look, without a taste test, how are we supposed to know which flavors we like to reorder?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55676

Kevin

Taste test? I'm in!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55677

Oscar

YOLO!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55678

Phyllis

What?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55679

Oscar

It's a thing. It means 'you only live once'.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55680

Kevin

Yeah, we're aware of what it means Oscar, you just do not look cool saying it.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55681

Oscar

Well'

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55682

Kevin

Alright everybody, who's in? Angela? Don't make us come over there.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55683

Angela

No, I don't' no.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55684

Kevin

Alright, let's go.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55685

Angela

Can't I just agree without putting my hand in?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55686

Nellie

Absolutely not!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55687

Kevin

No way.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55688

Angela

Oh, fine.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55689

Kevin

Ok guys, 'we all drink them all'.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55690

Everyone

We all drink them all!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55691

Kevin

Yes!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55692

Oscar

Yes!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55693

Nellie

Whoo!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55694

Phyllis

Hey, where's my ring?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55695

Creed

I'm sure it'll turn up.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55696

Athlead Employee

Yes ma'am, you want to go east on Franklin, take that all the way to Commonweath. You'll see us on the right side, you can't miss us.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55697

Dennis

'And I want to reach every demographic possible.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55698

Jim

No, I hear what you're saying, and we will. The thing is, we gotta lock down this key demographic first. The rest will come, I promise. Just give me a couple weeks, alright?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55699

Dennis

We're talking weeks here, not months, right?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55700

Jim

Weeks. Always weeks. Man, the last time I talked months was like, a million weeks ago.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55701

Dennis

Alright. Good.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55702

Jim

Thanks Dennis, I appreciate it. Hey! How are you?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55703

Pam

Good!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55704

Jim

What are you doing here?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55705

Pam

I just wanted to see you!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55706

Jim

That's so great!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55707

Darryl

Damn! Jim, you got a real Facebook energy going on here man. You Zuckerberged this place out!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55708

Jim

It's pretty great, right? I mean, we're coming along' Hey, Wade, we gotta just push up Dennis's timeline

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55709

"Suit Warehouse" Quotes