Every quote from The Office season 8, episode 9, in script order. First aired December 1, 2011.
-
Andy
Alright. Well then welcome aboard.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48212
-
Susan
So what happens next?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48213
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Andy
We get you over to HR and then we get you set up with accounting. Hang on. Hello?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48214
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Robert
Say hello grandma.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48215
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Andy
Hi gam-gam.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48216
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Robert
Hold one finger up to Susan. You'll just be a second. You numbskull. You were given a very simple task. I could not have been more clear with you. Now say, 'are you taking your medicine?'
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48217
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Andy
Are you taking your med-meds?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48218
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Robert
Why can you not say exactly what I tell you? Undo this. Undo it.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48219
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Susan
You didn't say goodbye to your grandma.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48220
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Andy
We promised we'd never say goodbye.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48221
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Dwight
Attention! I am now accepting memberships for Dwight Schrute's Gym for Muscles. The first 20 members can take advantage of the pay what you weigh promotion.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48222
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Oscar
All I need is another gym. As if I don't have enough drama.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48223
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Phyllis
We have a gym at home. It's called the bedroom.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48224
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Oscar
Who's spotting who? Don't use the bike in the corner. That's Bruce's. Jeremy says'
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48225
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Angela
Enough Oscar, enough.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48226
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Dwight
Kelly?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48227
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Kelly
I have these new sneakers which are basically like a gym for your feet.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48228
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Dwight
That's okay. I know how to build a business. You gotta get the black people to do it to get the white people to do it. Then you gotta get the black people to stop doing it. One step at a time.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48229
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Toby
Did you bring your passport with you?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48230
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Susan
Who walks around with their passport?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48231
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Toby
Well, I do. Always ready for adventure.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48232
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Susan
Have you had any?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48233
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Toby
No.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48234
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Andy
Hey, uh, guys. So Robert doesn't want his wife working here. So now that she is, we have to drive her away.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48235
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Oscar
Andy, if he didn't want her working here then why did you hire her?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48236
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Andy/Oscar
it was a mistake. But one that can be fixed by all of us being mean to her.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48237
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Kevin
How can we do that? She's simply wonderful.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48238
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Angela
This is all pathetic.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48239
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Andy
I am not asking, I am ordering.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48240
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Oscar
How mean are we talking about?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48241
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Andy
It would be great if she were gone by lunch. Erin, you're up. Find her a place to work, but not too comfortable.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48242
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Erin
Got it. I know exactly which stapler to give her.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48243
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Erin
Here you go.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48244
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Susan
Um, do you think it would be possible to move to that desk over there? Because this seems a bit cramped and I don't have a computer.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48245
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Erin
Well that's a sales desk.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48246
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Kevin
Yeah. You need to be over here with us accountants. Just sit here and be quiet. And if you have a question, just raise your hand. But I'm gonna save you some time, sweetie, and give you the answer now. I. Don't. Know.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48247
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Jim
No, I don't think we should be trying to make this place seem unpleasant. I think we should let this place just crush her spirit by itself. I mean, it knows what it's doing.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48248
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Oscar
That's Gerald.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48249
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Jim
Oh, wow. So cute.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48250
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Susan
Oh, that is so cute-
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48251
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Phyllis
Aw... He's so tiny. Is he in a ladle?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48252
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Oscar
Yeah, he's in a ladle.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48253
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Erin
That's adorable. How on earth did you get him in a ladle?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48254
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Oscar
He did it himself.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48255
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Phyllis
Is that ladle stainless or...
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48256
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Oscar
Oh, stainless. Williams Sonoma.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48257
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Susan
Excuse me, waiter, there's a dog in my soup.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48258
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Oscar
It's not that kind of ladle.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48259
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Jim
Very cute.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48260
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Susan
Aw, let me see-
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48261
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Oscar
Ah, just the battery on these things. I'm sorry, I've got to recharge this.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48262
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Susan
I get it. Last time I had a job, I remember I hated the boss' wife. Of course, she was married to Robert.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48263
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Susan
Your employees don't seem to be taking to me.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48264
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Robert
Andy! Andy, could you step in here, please? We'll fix this.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48265
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Andy
What is going on?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48266
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Robert
Please. Andrew, my wife... has brought up an issue that requires your attention. So, uh, if you'll excuse me, I should step out, get to the ATM before that homeless man sets up camp for the night.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48267
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Andy
Okey-dokey, artichokey. You hate it, don't you?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48268
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Susan
Do you not want me here?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48269
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Andy
Why would you say that?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48270
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Susan
It's okay. I understand. I'm not sure how I would feel about having the boss' wife work for me either.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48271
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Andy
It's not that, exactly.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48272
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Susan
But it is something.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48273
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Andy
Let's just say that if you don't want to work here, I am totally prepared to respect that.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48274
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Susan
Why would you not want me working here?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48275
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Andy
I don't know.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48276
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Susan
I think I understand what you're going through. My husband can be a very difficult man to read, can't he?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48277
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Andy
Yes! The dude is an enigma.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48278
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Susan
Mm-hmm. So he is mixed up in this, isn't he?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48279
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Andy
Ah...
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48280
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Susan
Got it.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48281
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Dwight
What do you think you're doing?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48282
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Darryl
Getting my sweat on.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48283
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Dwight
I build you this temple to the human body, and you're lifting what, five pounds?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48284
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Darryl
I just did, like, 35 minutes on the treadmill.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48285
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Dwight
I was watching you. You want to know how long it really was?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48286
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Darryl
No.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48287
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Dwight
Eight minutes!
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48288
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Darryl
Dude, I'm gonna be here all week, right? Five days a week, I figure I'll start slow.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48289
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Dwight
Is that the same philosophy you apply to buffalo wings? I want you to bring that same buffalo wing passion to this gym! I'm gonna make you look like Lebron James!
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48290
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Darryl
It's Lejon Brames.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48291
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Dwight
That's what I said.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48292
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Darryl
You know, get it right.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48293
-
Dwight
I know.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48294
-
Andy
Cameras...
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48295
-
Robert
Oh, still here. Terrific.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48296
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Susan
Andy and I had a great conversation. And I just want to let you know that I am not going to be working here.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48297
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Robert
Well that's a shame.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48298
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Andy
It just was one of those things-
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48299
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Susan
Is it? Because we talked about it and it seems like that might be what you want. Which is fine.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48300
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Robert
Where did this come from? Did Andy say that?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48301
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Susan
No, he did not, but I could tell he was struggling to understand what was expected of him.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48302
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Robert
What's the struggle? He made a great call, hired a great person.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48303
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Susan
You sure about that?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48304
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Robert
Absolutely.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48305
-
Susan
No games?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48306
-
Robert
No games.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48307
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Susan
Because Andy seemed to think there was some information he was not able to share with me.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48308
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Robert
Okay, enough of this. I mean, really, enough. It's gotten way out of hand. Andrew, this is my wife. Whatever privacy you were trying to protect between us, I thank you for. But it is not welcome right now. Just be honest.
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48309
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Susan
Andy?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48310
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Andy
Yes?
Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48311