Every quote from The Office season 8, episode 7, in script order. First aired November 10, 2011.
-
Kevin
We're called Kevin and the Zits.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47609
-
Darryl
That was never agreed upon.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47610
-
Robert
I miss being in a band.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47611
-
Andy
Miss no more! What do you play? Join us!
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47612
-
Kevin
I have a tambourine.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47613
-
Robert
Tambourine? You know I'm the CEO, right?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47614
-
Andy
CEOs don't play tambourines. Tambourines are for girlfriends.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47615
-
Robert
I play harmonica. I think I have one in the car.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47616
-
Andy
Great!
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47617
-
Kevin
Nice guys, Robert is going to be a Zit!
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47618
-
Darryl
Again, never agreed upon.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47619
-
Andy
I had totally given up on hanging out with Robert California and now he wants to be in our band! And when you're in a rock and roll band with somebody, you're bonded for life!
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47620
-
Darryl
Usually that life is short and tragic. That's okay, right?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47621
-
Andy
Yeah, even cooler.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47622
-
Kevin
We all got to go sometime.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47623
-
Pam
Hey.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47624
-
Jim
Hey.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47625
-
Pam
Helen Mirren. Hot?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47626
-
Jim
Yeah. Super pretty.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47627
-
Pam
Huh. What about Cathy?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47628
-
Jim
The temp?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47629
-
Pam
Yeah. Do you think she's hot?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47630
-
Jim
Nope.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47631
-
Pam
I'm not asking if you're in to her. Just, objectively, do you find her attractive?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47632
-
Jim
And I'm telling you, I don't.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47633
-
Pam
You don't find Cathy attractive?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47634
-
Jim
No, I don't.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47635
-
Jim
No, I'm not going to tell my nine-months-pregnant wife that I find her replacement objectively attractive. Just like I'm not going to tell my two-year-old daughter that violent video games are objectively more fun. It's true, but it doesn't help anybody.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47636
-
Pam
Look at her. Even I want some fries with that shake.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47637
-
Jim
Okay. Uh, I don't. So are we good?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47638
-
Dwight
That's just absurd.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47639
-
Pam
Yes, because she's hot, right?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47640
-
Dwight
Her breasts are large, her waist is small, her reproductive health in ample evidence. And facial symmetry- come on.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47641
-
Pam
The thing about pregnancy is people treat you differently. Like you're a kid almost. They lose all sense of boundaries. They start acting weird, telling you things that clearly aren't true. I know it sounds nuts, but I think Dwight is the only one who's telling me the truth.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47642
-
Pam
Dwight, am I hot right now?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47643
-
Dwight
Why would I or anyone else think that you're hot right now? I can't impregnate you, and that's the driving force between male-female attraction.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47644
-
Pam
What about before? Was I attractive before?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47645
-
Dwight
Meh... you were at your most attractive when you were 24 with a slight, gradual decline and a steep drop-off when you got pregnant for the first time. Gradual recovery and, uh, well now, obviously, you're at an all-time low.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47646
-
Pam
Hmm. I think Jim's lying to me about not being attracted to Cathy.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47647
-
Dwight
You think Jim's lying? That's so cute. I know he's lying.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47648
-
Pam
Five bucks if you can get him to admit it.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47649
-
Dwight
Done. I never touch a pregnant woman.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47650
-
Pam
Yep, that's the Dwight I need.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47651
-
Dwight
If we're going to work together, we need some ground rules.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47652
-
Pam
Okay.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47653
-
Dwight
Rule one: our only loyalty is to the truth.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47654
-
Pam
I think so. Okay.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47655
-
Dwight
Rule two: we stop at nothing.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47656
-
Pam
Well, what does that... is that... okay.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47657
-
Dwight
Rule three: Don't fall in love.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47658
-
Pam
Yep, good.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47659
-
Dwight
We're gonna bust this guy.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47660
-
Pam
Honesty is very important to me.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47661
-
Dwight
So important. And then we will destroy the man himself.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47662
-
Pam
Let's just see how we feel when we get there.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47663
-
Kelly
Well, you came to the right person. You have to follow your intuition, Pam. You don't want to end up like Elin Nordegren. Actually, what am I saying, you wish you had her life- no offense, Pam.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47664
-
Dwight
None taken. What do you got?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47665
-
Kelly
It is called the matchmaker test, and it is very powerful. Basically we have Pam ask Jim which of his friends he would set up with Cathy. If Jim picks a really hot friend, then we know that he thinks that Cathy's hot.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47666
-
Pam
Hmm.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47667
-
Robert
Hey, you found us!
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47668
-
Curtis
You guys sound great, man.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47669
-
Robert
Darryl, Andy, Kevin, this is Curtis Dorough, local musician and the officiate at my wedding.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47670
-
Darryl
Local musician? Local legend! I used to come hear you play every week at the Deerhead.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47671
-
Kevin
Dude, you're on TV! You're the sportscaster on channel seven.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47672
-
Drummer
Go Eagles!
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47673
-
Kevin
You do that on TV!
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47674
-
Robert
You guys mind if they join us?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47675
-
Andy
Yeah, absolutely!
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47676
-
Kevin
Guys, I've got some instruments right here.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47677
-
Darryl
Hey, why don't you and me play those?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47678
-
Kevin
Yeah? Okay, this is awesome.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47679
-
Robert
What should we play?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47680
-
Kevin
Maybe we should warm up with some scales?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47681
-
Robert
Midnight Rambler?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47682
-
Curtis
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47683
-
Andy
Midnight what?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47684
-
Curtis
Have you heard about the midnight rambler? Hey, come on in, baby. Yeah!
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47685
-
Pam
Hey, I was talking to Cathy. Turns out she is single.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47686
-
Jim
Oh, I stand corrected.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47687
-
Pam
I thought it might be fun to set her up with someone. Any ideas?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47688
-
Jim
Oh, you know who might be good? Mike Tibbets.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47689
-
Pam
Mike Tibbets, really?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47690
-
Jim
Mm-hmm.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47691
-
Ryan
Hey, who's this Mike Tibbets guy? What kind of car does he drive?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47692
-
Jim
Not his mom's car.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47693
-
Ryan
Yeah, 'cause his mom's car's probably not a Nissan Z.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47694
-
Jim
Touche?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47695
-
Kelly
Eww!
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47696
-
Pam
Kelly, calm down.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47697
-
Kelly
I mean, I guess he'd be okay with hair. Okay, you should see if he'll get hair plugs.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47698
-
Pam
I don't think Jim cares about his hair.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47699
-
Kelly
Yeah, but I do Pam, okay? It's called being a nice person.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47700
-
Dwight
I don't see what's so ugly about him. He's got the broad face of a brewer.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47701
-
Pam
Jim's on to me.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47702
-
Dwight
Hmm?
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47703
-
Pam
Yeah, Jim barely talks to Mike. We had to go through like two levels of friends to even find his profile. Jim picked someone just unattractive enough to shut me up without tipping it.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47704
-
Dwight
Just ugly enough to have deniability.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47705
-
Pam
Yep.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47706
-
Jim
Mike Tibbets is like the most boring-looking guy I know. So if that was for the matchmaker test, I think I'm in the clear. If that wasn't for the matchmaker test, then... Cathy, he's a really nice guy.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47707
-
Dwight
Well, Jim may be lying with his words, but he can't lie with his body.
Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47708