"Pam's Replacement" Quotes

Every line from The Office season 8, episode 7, in script order. First aired November 10, 2011.

321 quotes · page 1 of 4

  1. Andy

    Erin.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47509

  2. Erin

    Yeah.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47510

  3. Andy

    In two minutes I want you to come into this meeting and tell me I have a really important phone call. I'm not going to take it because I want him to know how important the meeting is to me.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47511

  4. Erin

    Who's calling?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47512

  5. Andy

    Nobody. Just say that I'm- Just make it up that I have a phone call. And then I'm going to refuse to take it.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47513

  6. Erin

    You're not going to take it?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47514

  7. Andy

    Just make up a phone call. It's not a real call. Make it up.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47515

  8. Erin

    Ohohohoh.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47516

  9. Andy

    And come and tell me. Doesn't matter what it is.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47517

  10. Erin

    You're not going to get it though?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47518

  11. Andy

    I'm not going to take it. And then he's going to be like 'whoa this is a really important meeting'.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47519

  12. Erin

    Copy that.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47520

  13. Andy

    Okay.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47521

  14. Andy

    Ok, so tell me exactly what kind of deal you are getting now and I'll tell you how we can beat it.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47522

  15. Client

    Uh well we've been going with'

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47523

  16. Erin

    Andy.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47524

  17. Andy

    Yeah.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47525

  18. Erin

    You have a very important call.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47526

  19. Andy

    I'm sorry ' I'm with a very important client. It'll have to wait.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47527

  20. Erin

    Are you sure? It's really, really important.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47528

  21. Andy

    There is nothing more important to me right now than this meeting.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47529

  22. Erin

    Really? Because your mother is dead.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47530

  23. Client

    Oh my God.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47531

  24. Andy

    I don't think she's dead.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47532

  25. Erin

    She's dead. She was hit by a bus.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47533

  26. Andy

    She's not dead. This is exactly the kind of thing my mom pulls.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47534

  27. Erin

    This isn't one of those times. It's the police. They said it's the worst they've ever seen.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47535

  28. Dwight

    Andy I'm really sorry about your mother. My deepest condolences.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47536

  29. Client

    Oh you must take this call. It's'

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47537

  30. Andy

    Yeah. Um line 1?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47538

  31. Erin

    Line 2.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47539

  32. Andy

    Hi.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47540

  33. Darryl

    [on phone]It's Darryl. Erin told me to pretend to be a cop and say your mom died.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47541

  34. Andy

    Ooh, gosh!

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47542

  35. Darryl

    Dude.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47543

  36. Andy

    Officer.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47544

  37. Darryl

    Look man this is a bad idea.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47545

  38. Andy

    Did she have any last words or?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47546

  39. Darryl

    Really? That is messed up man.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47547

  40. Andy

    Oh make sure that your client gets the best deal possible.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47548

  41. Darryl

    You're a bad man Andy Bernard.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47549

  42. Andy

    That is so mom.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47550

  43. Darryl

    That stuff can come back to get you. It's called karma. You do not want to be messing around. I got an uncle'

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47551

  44. Andy

    Alright thank you officer. Erin please hold all my other calls. Where were we?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47552

  45. Pam

    Hey Cathy.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47553

  46. Cathy

    Hi.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47554

  47. Pam

    How's it going? Everything make sense?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47555

  48. Cathy

    I think everything is under control.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47556

  49. Pam

    Great.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47557

  50. Cathy

    You should sit down.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47558

  51. Pam

    Oh no, I'm fine.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47559

  52. Cathy

    No I should go fill out my paperwork.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47560

  53. Pam

    Ok Oh that was just me. Pregnant Pam. And I make sounds much worse than this.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47561

  54. Dwight

    Oh we know.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47562

  55. Pam

    I'm training a temp to be my replacement while I'm on maternity leave. Oh I should've mentioned I'm pregnant. You probably didn't notice because it's impossible to tell I'm so small. But yeah I'm pregnant. Oh come on!

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47563

  56. Ryan

    Hey ' asking for a friend. Do you happen to know if that new girl is single?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47564

  57. Jim

    Hmm. Doubt it.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47565

  58. Ryan

    Yeah me too.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47566

  59. Pam

    You doubt it?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47567

  60. Jim

    What's that?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47568

  61. Pam

    Why do you doubt that she's single?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47569

  62. Jim

    Honestly I have no idea. I just figured we'd save her from Ryan right?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47570

  63. Darryl

    What are you doing with my lunch?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47571

  64. Andy

    I'm delivering it from the fridge. It's like a porno. Hey did anyone order a pizza?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47572

  65. Darryl

    It's not pizza.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47573

  66. Andy

    Yeah and we're not about to make love. I just thought maybe you'd want to eat lunch at your desk today so that during lunch we could go down to the warehouse and bang out a few tunes.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47574

  67. Darryl

    I like the sound of that. Is Kevin in?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47575

  68. Andy

    Uh you tell me

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47576

  69. Ryan

    So word on the street is she has a boyfriend.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47577

  70. Gabe

    Well he's probably a drug dealer. That's the best way to land a hot girlfriend. You just uh get her hooked on blow.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47578

  71. Toby

    It's going to be nice to have just a healthy, young, fit presence in the middle of the office.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47579

  72. Oscar

    Yeah aesthetically speaking she adds a nice presence.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47580

  73. Offscreen

    Good energy

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47581

  74. Pam

    It's going to be good to have someone hot at Pam's desk huh?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47582

  75. Oscar

    No, no. Not even.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47583

  76. Pam

    I'm kidding! Oh my gosh you guys! She's obviously super cute I get it. But I'd like to point out there's 50 pounds more of me to love if that's your thing.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47584

  77. Oscar

    Pam you look more beautiful now than ever.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47585

  78. Toby

    Radiant.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47586

  79. Pam

    Thank you. Really you guys thank you. Very sweet.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47587

  80. Phyllis

    Yeah you have this sexy glow.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47588

  81. Gabe

    It's one of the most common fetishes.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47589

  82. Pam

    Really well thank you all.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47590

  83. Toby

    You know it's not just pregnant women who don't get their due. You know who's gorgeous? Helen Mirren.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47591

  84. Ryan

    Yes! Have you seen her in a bikini? Amazing?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47592

  85. Toby

    You know what would be the hottest thing ever? It's a pregnant Helen Mirren.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47593

  86. Dwight

    Ok ok ok no no no. This is disgusting. You realize what you're saying? The hottest thing ever would be a 66 year old pregnant woman.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47594

  87. Oscar

    In this case yes.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47595

  88. Dwight

    No! There are universal biological standards of beauty and attraction. And you are purposefully celebrating the opposite of them to mollycoddle a pregnant woman.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47596

  89. Phyllis

    No we're not.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47597

  90. Dwight

    Yes you are. And another thing. Helen Mirren was born Helen Mironov. That's right. You're fake salivating over a Soviet era Russian.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47598

  91. Andy

    Ske-be-do-bah-bap-bah-de, ske-be-de-bapa-de-bapa-boopa-dooten-bebe-daten-booray.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47599

  92. Darryl

    Nice scatting, man.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47600

  93. Andy

    Thank you. I think I said doop instead of boop at one point.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47601

  94. Val

    Not bad fellas, you're better than you look.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47602

  95. Kevin

    Hey, screw you!

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47603

  96. Andy

    Hey Robert, are we meeting early?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47604

  97. Robert

    Just taking a stroll. What exactly have I stumbled upon here?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47605

  98. Andy

    Well we're all musicians and we play together sometimes.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47606

  99. Robert

    You're a band.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47607

  100. Andy

    Thank you.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47608