Every line from The Office season 8, episode 5, in script order. First aired October 27, 2011.
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Robert
Because it's too terrifying to imagine. Now we're cooking. What is it, Kelly? What is this great fear of yours?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46994
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Kelly
Never marrying.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46995
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Robert
Yes. Dying alone, that is very scary. And how are you, Toby?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46996
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Toby
So great.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46997
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Erin
Oh, I put those up.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46998
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Angela
I know. I'm taking them down.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46999
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Phyllis
I almost wonder if putting nothing on this wall is more Halloween-y.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47000
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Erin
I don't know about this, guys, Andy put me in charge of the Halloween party, so...
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47001
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Angela
Well, Andy sent us in here, so which is it?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47002
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Erin
Oh.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47003
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Angela
So, can we speak our minds now, or are we still sparing feelings, because I hate all of this.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47004
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Bert
Very low pressure in the Sargasso Sea, warm air from South America, cold air from Greenland. All signs point to the perfect storm.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47005
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Dwight
Yeah, perfectly mediocre.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47006
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Bert
What are you, anyway?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47007
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Dwight
I'm a Jamaican zombie woman, leave me alone, ghoul.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47008
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Bert
If you had some really big wings with blades on the end, you'd kind of look like Kerrigan from Starcraft.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47009
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Dwight
Damnit. I AM Kerrigan from Starcraft! I've been censored.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47010
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Bert
If you're going to be a Zerg, at least be a Lurker, not some girl.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47011
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Dwight
Kerrigan is ruler of the Zerg swarm!
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47012
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Bert
Yeah, she also has boobs.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47013
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Dwight
Yeah, but no nipples.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47014
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Erin
Hey.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47015
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Andy
Hey. What's up?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47016
-
Erin
November's sure creeping up, ain't it? Can't stop that month!
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47017
-
Andy
Yeah...
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47018
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Erin
Hey, what's the jive with Angela and Phyllis helping with the party, you know?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47019
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Andy
Um, I just thought you could use some help, you know, because Robert came in and thought the party seemed a little kiddie, and I guess I agreed, and maybe we could mix a little more 13 into the PG.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47020
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Erin
But that's it? There's nothing about me, or I?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47021
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Andy
Can we talk about it at the end of the day? I gotta call, gotta make a call.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47022
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Erin
Oh, yeah, sorry. Yes, we can.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47023
-
Andy
Yes. I don't know. Mmhmm.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47024
-
Erin
Gabe?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47025
-
Gabe
Sweetheart.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47026
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Erin
I'm throwing the Halloween Party and I just want to amp it up a little. I think it could use some extra pizazz.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47027
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Gabe
Ok where does Gabe factor in?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47028
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Erin
Remember that Halloween party you took me to once? The one where I started crying as soon as I walked in and I didn't stop crying?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47029
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Gabe
Yes. Lars and Decocco's
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47030
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Erin
Ok. Let's say that I wanted this party to be a tiny, tiny bit like that one. Just' more adult' more' scary and sexy
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47031
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Gabe
I will make this sexier than you could ever imagine.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47032
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Erin
No ' just scary. If we wanted ideas for scary stuff.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47033
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Gabe
Oh that would be scary!
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47034
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Erin
What are you thinking?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47035
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Gabe
Ok let me go get it.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47036
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Pam
Pam Halpert.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47037
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Jim
Hey it's Jim Halpert. I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie tonight. Because I've read a lot about this really great documentary.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47038
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Pam
Is it called Ghostbusters?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47039
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Jim
It's called Ghostbusters.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47040
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Pam
It didn't look like that.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47041
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Jim
It didn't have a buster sign around him? Why don't you draw him? Why don't we see this whole thing.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47042
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Pam
Ok fine I'll draw him.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47043
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Jim
I ain't fraid of no ghost. Whoa!
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47044
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Pam
Mmhmm. Dwight are you eating a stick?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47045
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Dwight
It's a root you idiot.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47046
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Bert
Everyone hates you.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47047
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Dwight
That's really rude. I don't tell you hurricanes suck even though it's true.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47048
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Bert
What do you like? Tornadoes?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47049
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Dwight
Try influenza.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47050
-
Bert
Oh yeah? What's the vaccine you can take to avoid a hurricane?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47051
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Dwight
Open up a newspaper. Oh look a hurricane's coming. I suppose you're going to tell me the scariest animal is a shark?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47052
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Bert
Try a box jelly fish.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47053
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Jim
You know that's'
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47054
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Robert
What are we talking about?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47055
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Jim
I was talking about my wife and how she believes in ghosts. And then we had a little debate and Meredith said she believes in them too.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47056
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Robert
You seem unimpressed. Ghosts don't scare you?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47057
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Kevin
I'm only scared of real things like serial killers and kidnappers. Not things that don't exist like ghosts or mummies.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47058
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Oscar
Mummies are real. There are mummies at museums.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47059
-
Kevin
Yeah'prank
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47060
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Robert
It's true. They've been preserved for thousands of years. They're all over.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47061
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Kevin
Why on Earth would a museum put a mummy in it?!?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47062
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Erin
Witch's brew?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47063
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Erin
I grew this party up real fast. Get out of here little kid party. Nobody loves you. And clean up your room! Grownups are going to use it later! Oooh!
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47064
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Jim
Party looks fun doesn't it? Everybody seems to be in there having a great time. So maybe now would be a great time for me to pop back on the computer.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47065
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Bert
I'm using it. I'm about to play Starcraft with him.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47066
-
Jim
Are you serious?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47067
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Dwight
Yeah I'm serious.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47068
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Jim
That's funny. Ok.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47069
-
Dwight
Loser.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47070
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Bert
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47071
-
Angela
Pam do you think anyone's going to notice I've worn this costume before? When I wasn't pregnant. You know I bet nobody would believe it still fits.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47072
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Oscar
Hey guys. I'm an Oscar liar weiner.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47073
-
Ryan
Oh my god!
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47074
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Darryl
This party's tight. The fog is cool.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47075
-
Erin
Thanks. It's on medium.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47076
-
Darryl
Perfect.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47077
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Andy
It really looks great. You did a great job.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47078
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Erin
Oh, so we don't have to have that talk.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47079
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Andy
We should still have that talk. Maybe you can come by my office at like 4:45? Cool.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47080
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Erin
Oookayyy everybody. Be prepared to be scared. Ok.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47081
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Gabe
The cinema of the unsettling is a growing film movement. The most well known film in the genre is an hour long shot of a squirrel with diarrhea.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47082
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Oscar
Is that my grandmother?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47083
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Andy
What's the story?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47084
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Oscar
There is no story.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47085
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Gabe
Yeah it seems like there isn't a narrative. Maybe the filmmaker realized that even narrative is comforting.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47086
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Stanley
What the hell is going on here?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47087
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Andy
I think we've seen enough. You can turn it off now. Yeah turn it off now.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47088
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Stanley
How did you get in my car?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47089
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Oscar
Where is this from? That is so upsetting!
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47090
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Andy
That was awful. Robert I apologize.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47091
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Erin
I'm sorry. I got confused. I heard you wanted to make the party more adult. But I think I know what to do now. This game is called 'pecker Poker'. It's the game of cards that gets you hard.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47092
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Andy
What we have here is a classic misunderstanding.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47093