Every quote from The Office season 8, episode 5, in script order. First aired October 27, 2011.
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Andy
Approved!
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46894
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Andy
Chef from South Park, it's genius!
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46895
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Stanley
Just some chef.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46896
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Andy
I've decided to pre-screen all the Halloween costumes this year. I have three simple rules - don't be offensive, don't be cliche, and don't take the first two rules too seriously.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46897
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Kevin
The gorilla from Rise of the Planet of the Apes? Huh? The one who sacrifices his life.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46898
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Andy
Whoa! Aw, spoiler alert.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46899
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Kevin
It's been out for ages, man.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46900
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Andy
Costume vetoed.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46901
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Andy
Ah, it's, uh... somebody's already called that.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46902
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Phyllis
Who?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46903
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Andy
Kevin has a gorilla suit you could borrow.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46904
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Kelly
This is ridiculous! Why can't there just be two Kate Middleton's?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46905
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Andy
Guys, I know, I mean, I wish there could be, too. It's like, I can't choose. They're both amazing. It's just...
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46906
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Kelly
Look, I stayed up all night and I watched that gd wedding, and then I came to work and I made everyone else watch it all day. Meredith wasn't even here.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46907
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Meredith
Because I was there. Your the people's princess! Diana was nothing!
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46908
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Andy
I thought you were at your sister's funeral.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46909
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Meredith
What I said was, 'My sister's funeral is this weekend.' Didn't say I'd be there.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46910
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Meredith
Why is it such a shock that I follow the royal story? Warms my heart, thinking about them two kids, doing it.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46911
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Andy
Um, can I, maybe, squeeze through?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46912
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Erin
Here you go.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46913
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Andy
There you go. Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46914
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Erin
When they talk about all the nice things about dating a coworker, they don't mention one of the best parts. After you're done dating, you still get to work together, every single day.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46915
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Kevin
Jim, put it on.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46916
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Darryl
Put it on, man.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46917
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Jim
I don't know if I can.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46918
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Kevin
Come on, the Three Amigos.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46919
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Darryl
Three Kings.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46920
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Jim
Alright.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46921
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Jim
I know, I know, I know. But Darryl and Kevin needed a third. They bought me this jersey. I said no. Kevin started crying. So, I am Chris Bosh.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46922
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Ryan
If you get into season 1, you can really...
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46923
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Kelly
Oh my god, what the hell is wrong with you?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46924
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Dwight
It's called a costume.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46925
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Kelly
What are you, some kind of Jamaican zombie woman?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46926
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Dwight
Ryan, will you please tell her who I am?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46927
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Ryan
Whoopi Goldberg.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46928
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Dwight
Has no one here heard of Kerrigan, from Starcraft? Queen of blades? It's all Toby's fault.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46929
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Toby
Every Halloween I tell him the same thing - You can't bring weapons into the office, and every year he says the same thing - As soon as I get my weapons back I'm gonna kill you. But there I am at Thanksgiving, alive, you know. I'm a lucky turkey.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46930
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Andy
Everybody looking good, this is, this is the best we can do? I'm not judging, I, I think you guys look great, I just... wanna make sure this is the best we can do?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46931
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Andy
I just got a text from Broccoli Rob - 'Boo!' Scared me. And then I got this text from Robert California - 'Looking forward to Halloween party. Expectations are high.' Scared the s**t out of me.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46932
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Andy
G'day, Pameroo. Could you shoot this off for me?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46933
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46934
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Andy
Australian accent...
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46935
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Pam
What are you doing?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46936
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Erin
Oh, I just wanted to see how you do it, if you're doing something I don't.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46937
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Pam
Oh. Are you...
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46938
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Erin
That Andy, so hot and cold. One day he's like, fax these documents, please. The next he's like, Pam, you fax them, who cares what Erin's feeling, right?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46939
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Pam
Oh, Erin...
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46940
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Erin
Pam, how would you rate me as a receptionist on a scale of 1 to 3?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46941
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Pam
Um, 2?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46942
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Erin
That's like, the second to last thing I wanted to hear.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46943
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Pam
No, I mean, you're doing great, and Andy put you in charge of the whole party, right?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46944
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Erin
Yeah...
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46945
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46946
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Erin
Send completed. You are the best in the biz, I can't deny.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46947
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Phyllis
Bob and I are doing this Scranton Haunted Walking Tour.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46948
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Oscar
I always wondered what kind of people went on that thing.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46949
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Pam
Oh, hey, if you go by the Banshee Pub, tell the Man In Black I say hello.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46950
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Oscar
What happened, Pam?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46951
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Pam
Okay. When I was 22, I worked there and everybody said the place was haunted. I didn't believe it until one day before we opened, I look up into the mirror, you know, behind the bar, and I see this old man dressed all in black, but when I turn around, there's no one there. So, I tell the cook my story...
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46952
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Phyllis
Wait, they have food there?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46953
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Pam
...and he said, That's what everyone sees, that's the Man In Black.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46954
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Jim
No! My wife does not believe in ghosts.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46955
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Jim
Hey.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46956
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Pam
Hey!
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46957
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Jim
Oh, this Man In Black thing, what do you think that was about?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46958
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Pam
What do you mean?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46959
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Jim
Was it, like, trickery in the lights, or maybe you were so primed to see it, then there it was?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46960
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Pam
I saw a ghost.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46961
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Jim
Mmhmm. No, but what I'm saying is, like, do you ever wonder what it was?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46962
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Pam
It was a ghost, I told you this on, like, our first date.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46963
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Jim
Yeah, I had just told you about the day that I met the Blue Angels. I figured you had to top it.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46964
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Pam
I don't know what to tell you, Jim, but I saw a ghost.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46965
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Andy
Hey! Uh-oh, looks like we're under a Jack attack!
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46966
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Robert
Yes, Andrew. And you, on this day of fantasy, are a laborer.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46967
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Andy
Yes.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46968
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Robert
Everyone, this Bert, my son. Bert, this is... a paper company.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46969
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Bert
Hello. Can I use a computer? I need to check a hurricane.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46970
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Robert
Here, use this one.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46971
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Robert
Oh, look, Pin The Wart On The Wench. How did you know I was bringing my son?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46972
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Erin
Oh, I didn't. It was for us, but he can play. Bertie-boy, would you like to play this game?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46973
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Bert
That stuff's for babies.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46974
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Robert
Well, perhaps this party will awaken the baby in all of us.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46975
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Andy
Wow, who shot our grown-up party with a kiddie raygun? We're still getting it set up, it's gonna be really cool.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46976
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Robert
Extraordinary. Did you plan this?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46977
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Kelly
Well, Toby and I did, yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46978
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Gabe
And I overheard, and thought, hey, that'd be fun, don't mind if I do.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46979
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Toby
If you turn out the lights we'll do a little dance.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46980
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Kelly
1, 2, 3!
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46981
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Gabe/Kelly/Toby
Dem bones, dem bones, dem tired bones, now we're the skeleton crew.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46982
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Robert
Delightful.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46983
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Kelly
Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46984
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Robert
Now then, how are we today?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46985
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Kelly
Fine.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46986
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Toby
Great.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46987
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Robert
Just fine, Kelly? Everything alright?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46988
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Kelly
Mmhmm.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46989
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Robert
You feeling fulfilled in your life?
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46990
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Kelly
I guess.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46991
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Robert
You guess? So, there is something you want that you do not have.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46992
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Kelly
I try not to think about it.
Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46993