"Turf War" Quotes (page 3)

Every line from The Office season 8, episode 23, in script order. First aired May 3, 2012.

288 quotes · page 3 of 3

Dwight

Well '

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52416
Harry

Mr. Ramish, Harry Jannerone. Dunder Mifflin, Syracuse '

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52417
Dwight

I was here first.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52418
Mr. Ramish

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52419
Dwight

I already made an appointment' with your secretary.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52420
Mr. Ramish

Let me stop you all right here. I've already picked a new paper supplier.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52421
Dwight

Wait, it's not D.M Utica, is it?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52422
Mr. Ramish

No, no, it's not Dunder Mifflin at all actually. It's' Big Red Paper Company.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52423
Jim

Big Red Paper Company?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52424
Mr. Ramish

Mm-hmm.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52425
Andy

Yes, yes, yes!

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52426
Harry

Give me a cup of coffee.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52427
Dwight

Me too. Or do you also have a monopoly on thirst?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52428
Jim

All right, guys. It didn't work out for any of us, so' we're still on the same team. Let me get these.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52429
Dwight

No. Let him get his own. It's Syracuse money.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52430
Harry

You know, your partner's got a lotta attitude. But I like that. How long you guys been dating?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52431
Dwight

Jim couldn't land me in a thousand years.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52432
Jim

But you're saying there's a chance.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52433
Dwight

Shut up.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52434
Pam

Hey.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52435
Robert

Hmm.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52436
Pam

I stole Nellie's phone.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52437
Robert

Excellent. Excellent. Though troubling that your first instinct is thievery.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52438
Pam

What do you want from me?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52439
Robert

Now we get to the bottom of Nellie's 'yes, yes, yes, yes, never.'

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52440
Phone

Hi, Nell, it's mom. Do keep your chin up. It can't be as bad as you described.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52441
Robert

Oh yes it can.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52442
Phone

This is MasterCard. You are over the limit. Send the minimum payment of $448 by Monday, or we will be forced to send it to collections.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52443
Robert

Shopaholic.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52444
Pam

Sounds like it.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52445
Robert

Yeah.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52446
Phone

Hi, sis. Is your boss still hitting on you?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52447
Robert

Ah.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52448
Phone

This is Annie from second nests. I'm sorry, but the Romanian orphanage felt more comfortable with a two-person nuclear family than a single mother, so, we're gonna hold out for that.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52449
Pam

Okay, that's enough.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52450
Robert

Pam, we need to get to the bottom of this.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52451
Pam

No, no, no!

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52452
Robert

No, come on.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52453
Pam

Robert! Okay, oops! I deleted them all. They're all deleted.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52454
Robert

Pam, Pam, you've completely bungled this!

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52455
Pam

Ah. Ahh.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52456
Pam

Hey.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52457
Nellie

Can I do it, Pam? Can I put off a gold Arabian sandal?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52458
Pam

Um' yes. Definitely. With your hair '

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52459
Nellie

Oh!

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52460
Pam

Certainly. Um' you dropped your cell phone.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52461
Nellie

Oh, gosh.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52462
Pam

Yep.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52463
Nellie

Thank you. I'm' so stupid.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52464
Pam

No. My goodness. You have a lot going on. With Robert and everything.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52465
Nellie

Oh, god, Pam. Don't get me started.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52466
Pam

No, I will not.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52467
Nellie

You've just got me started. Robert' is' a filthy beast. I mean, don't you get the feeling, he's just thinking of fifteen different ways to do you?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52468
Pam

Well '

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52469
Nellie

I mean, the man talks of nothing but sex.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52470
Pam

But sometimes he talks about flesh' and bacchanals.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52471
Nellie

I cannot even tell you what he left on my phone last night.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52472
Pam

No' don't. Just put it out of your mind.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52473
Nellie

Pam, what is your address? I'm gonna send you a pair of these gold harem shoes. Oh, no. You don't '

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52474
Nellie

Oh yes. Come on, a little gold Arabian slipper.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52475
Nellie

Things are looking up. I might be a mother soon. I have MasterCard right where I want them. And' I have a new friend. A friend. At work.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52476
Robert

Erin.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52477
Erin

There's a call for you on line one.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52478
Robert

Who is it?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52479
Erin

He says salvation. No last name.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52480
Robert

Yeah, hello?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52481
Andy

You once put me on a list of the losers in the office. Well, this loser just got your biggest client to give him all their business. So hire me back, that business is yours. Don't, and I will find another buyer.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52482
Robert

You're blackmailing me.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52483
Andy

It's just business.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52484
Robert

Ah, well, I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penised debutante. You wanna start a street fight with me, bring it on. You're gonna be surprised by how ugly it gets. You don't even know my real name. I'm the *bleep* lizard king.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52485
Andy

Whoa. Well I gave him a chance.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52486
David

Andy Bernard.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52487
Andy

You got a minute?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52488
David

Um' I'm in the middle of a piano lesson.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52489
Andy

I wanted to see if I could interest you in an investment. Dunder Mifflin.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52490
David

Dunder Mifflin. Now' why would I want that? It's worth half of what it was three years ago.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52491
Andy

Exactly. And you know better than anyone that with the right management it could be worth twice what you would pay for it today.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52492
David

Why don't you come in?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52493
Harry

So what would you do if you weren't selling paper?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52494
Jim

Oh, man, I'd have to sell beets. Probably submit them for competitions.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52495
Dwight

What?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52496
Jim

Yeah! I know it sounds stupid, but nationals has always kinda been a dream of mine.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52497
Dwight

How have we never talked about this before? Wait. You don't even care about nationals.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52498
Harry

Nothing?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52499
Jim

I don't know. I've always wanted to own a bike shop, but what about you?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52500
Harry

I'd like to sell one big thing, you know? Like' a plane. One sale, I'm out.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52501
Jim

That sounds lovely.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52502
Harry

Anyway, Robert's gonna run this company into the ground, so' We won't be doing this in six months.

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52503