Every line from The Office season 8, episode 23, in script order. First aired May 3, 2012.
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Gabe
Ugh, man. My delts are blasted. I wish they had a chart for how much protein powder to scoop for a 180 pound man with no fat.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52216
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Dwight
Protein powder, huh? You cut it with water? Why don't you just take estrogen? There you go boys. See how papa takes care of you? Mwah.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52217
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Gabe
I remember when people thought biceps were all that. They'd flex them all night at the discotheque.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52218
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Dwight
Oh, I bet you think it's all about core, huh?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52219
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Gabe
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52220
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Dwight
Oh, please.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52221
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Gabe
Core's critical. There are four tenets of pilates that I live my life by. One ' lengthen. Two ' elongate.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52222
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Jim
Listen, guys, I think we all want to know the same thing, right? Who's the strongest? Well, there's only one way to solve that ' flat curl contest.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52223
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Jim
All right, here we go everybody. May the manliest man win. Go.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52224
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Dwight
Feast on this, Lewis.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52225
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Gabe
I love the burn. The burn is where I live.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52226
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Jim
Come on, Gabe, you can't handle his hamstrings. You're getting hypno-thigh-zed.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52227
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Gabe
Speed set. One. Two.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52228
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Jim
Here, this is for your elbows, for your elbows.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52229
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Dwight
Oh, thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52230
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Jim
You're welcome.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52231
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Gabe
Five. Six.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52232
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Jim
Quick phone call from you guys, keep going,
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52233
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All
Eight, nine, ten.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52234
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Gabe
We got it?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52235
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Dwight
Very funny Jim.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52236
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Gabe
Yeah, Jim. Way to mock us for perfecting our bodies.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52237
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Robert
Everyone, conference room, now.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52238
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Jim
All right, easy there, grandpa.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52239
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Dwight
I don't need your help.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52240
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Jim
Okay. You don't need my help?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52241
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Dwight
Here, here' Just'
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52242
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Andy
Morning.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52243
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Erin
Hey.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52244
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Andy
Somebody left in such a hurry this morning that she forgot' these.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52245
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Erin
Oh.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52246
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Andy
You know the only thing more delicious than your feet is the feast that I am going to prepare for everyone.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52247
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Erin
Andy, if you're gonna hang out for a while, uh'
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52248
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Andy
What's this?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52249
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Erin
This dumb rule Robert made, he just wants visitors to sign in.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52250
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Andy
Is this Robert's attempt to embarrass me?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52251
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Erin
No, of course not. It's just ' I think it's like if we make an exception for you, then we have to make an exception for the water guy, and then, it's like, where does it end? So just'
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52252
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Andy
Why is it when other people spend all their time at the office, they're rewarded for it, and when I do it, I am told it's a little much? 'Is it because I am not an employee anymore, because that's what it feels like.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52253
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Jim
All right, well, enjoy the alumni game.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52254
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Dwight
Good, we have a deal?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52255
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Jim
Thanks Janet.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52256
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Dwight
Thanks so much Earl.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52257
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Jim
Wow, simultaneous sale.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52258
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Dwight
And they said it couldn't be done. Boom!
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52259
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Jim
Screw 'em.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52260
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Andy
Lot going on guys. What's happening?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52261
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Jim
Binghamton branch closed last night and their clients are up for grabs.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52262
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Andy
That was a fine branch. Things are really bad under Robert California, I guess. It's like a festival of poo.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52263
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Jim
Hey, hey, come on, language.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52264
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Dwight
Yeah, and we're not interested in your sour grapes, okay? Jim, tell him where he can stick his grapes.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52265
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Jim
In the fridge.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52266
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Dwight
No, Jim, the butt, in his butt.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52267
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Jim
Sorry, man, I can't focus on zingers. There's too many potential clients.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52268
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Stanley
You two better watch yourselves.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52269
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Phyllis
Yeah, the Syracuse branch can't be happy you're taking New York clients.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52270
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Robert
Shh' shh'
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52271
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Jim
Robert?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52272
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Oscar
Why did Binghamton close?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52273
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Robert
Can everyone just, please' I had a one-man saturnalia last night, in celebration of the finalization of my divorce. I got into a case of Australian reds, and ' how should I say this ' Columbian whites. What ' what is this about, uh, Binghamton?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52274
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Kevin
The branch closed. Forever.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52275
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Robert
Closing the Binghamton branch never occurred to me before today. Or, I guess, last night. But, in vino veritas as they say, I'm not gonna start doubting my drunken self now.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52276
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Nellie
I got your voicemail. From ' from last night.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52277
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Robert
Wonderful.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52278
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Nellie
And the answer' is yes, yes, yes, yes, and never.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52279
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Robert
Pam, when's the last time you lived so intensely that your brain literally couldn't hold the memories in?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52280
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Pam
Oh, it was this summer '
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52281
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Robert
Apparently, I left a phone message for Nellie last night, and I need you to find out what I said.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52282
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Pam
Um, I am a little busy.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52283
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Robert
Yes, 'course. Why don't you list the things that would keep you from helping me.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52284
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Pam
Yeah, I can make you a list.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52285
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Robert
Let's do it now. What's number one?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52286
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Pam
Why don't I help you now?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52287
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Robert
There we go.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52288
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Pam
Okay.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52289
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Harry
Who the hell are Jim Halpert and Dwight Schrute?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52290
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Erin
Jim, Dwight, what are your last names?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52291
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Dwight
And you are'
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52292
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Harry
Harry Jannerone, Dunder Mifflin Syracuse.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52293
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Harry
What the hell's all this?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52294
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Andy
Uh, cherries jubilee over homemade gelato.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52295
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Harry
You live well down here in P.A. I want to talk to you guys right now. Oh, and Lloyd Gross too. Which one's that guy?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52296
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Jim
The salesmen have a commission cap, but we figured out a way around it.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52297
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Dwight
Lloyd Gross is a fictional salesman we invented to ' how do I put this ' steal from the company. Embezzle. To commit fraud.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52298
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Jim
Okay, it sounds sketchy, but it helps us get more money.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52299
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Dwight
Yes.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52300
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Jim
Pam made a drawing of Lloyd. He is a blend of all the salesman.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52301
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Dwight
There he is. That's Lloyd.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52302
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Toby
Me?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52303
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Creed
Yeah, you.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52304
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Harry
Where do you get off crossing state lines?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52305
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Toby
Now, we're actually a lot closer to Binghamton than you are. Kimosabe.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52306
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Toby
I like to think Lloyd Gross is a no-nonsense guy who doesn't back down from anybody. And he calls people 'Kimosabe'.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52307
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Harry
They're New York. We're New York. Sate line is the dividing line. That's the way it's always been.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52308
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Jim
There's actually not a rule that says that.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52309
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Dwight
That's true.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52310
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Toby
That's true. There's no rule. You can check the employee handbook. Oh, can I check the employee handbook Lloyd? Well, does it say anything about me choking a man with my bare hands?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52311
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Toby
No.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52312
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Dwight
Wait, no? Are you kidding me? You told me there was a rule. I could've choked so many people by now.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52313
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Harry
Stay out of my state. It's in your best interest to stay out of my state.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52314
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Toby
I've seen guys like you. Big guys who like to push the little guys around. Lloyd Gross eats bullies like you for breakfast.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52315