"The List" Quotes (page 3)

Every quote from The Office season 8, episode 1, in script order. First aired September 22, 2011.

274 quotes · page 3 of 3

Robert

I'm not gonna change my list, Andy, and I don't use ballpoint pens.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45916
Andy

Well, then I will make a new list for you. Stanley... you may think he's a lazy grump, but did you know that he has the most consistently high sales numbers of anyone in this office? And you may think he's hard to love, but did you know that he's in, not one, but two long-term romantic relationships?

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45917
Robert

I did not know about the sales figures.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45918
Andy

Meredith Palmer... Supplier relations. The word 'no' not even in her vocabulary. And just to show you that I'm being fair. You had Gabe in the loser column. I think that is astute. Good call. Pam, easily the most creative and kind person I have ever worked with.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45919
Dwight

Jim, shut the door. This is just gross.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45920
Jim

Shhh.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45921
Andy

Erin Hannon, the receptionist and my closest confidant. A winner if there ever was one.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45922
Erin

I like my new group. I liked my old group.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45923
Robert

Are we done?

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45924
Andy

Yes. No! The Friday before Columbus Day, we're gonna take a half-day, so that everyone can get a jump on the long weekend.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45925
Robert

You want a three and half day weekend for Columbus Day?

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45926
Andy

Yes, I do.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45927
Robert

And you are aware that Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of Native Americans.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45928
Andy

I don't care.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45929
Andy

Hey guys. So Columbus Day, we got that half-day on Friday.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45930
Stanley

We get that every year.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45931
Andy

Well, you got it this year too.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45932
Phyllis

Good night, Andy.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45933
Andy

Night.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45934
Angela

Bye.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45935
Oscar

Good night Andy.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45936
Dwight

Good night.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45937
Andy

Night.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45938
Jim

Alright, I'm gonna go warm up the car.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45939
Pam

Okay. Oh, uh, you dropped something. Jim?

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45940
Pam

Okay, I know I've been crying easily today, but- I mean, that's just pretty killer, right? I mean, maybe it's stupid. No. It's wonderful. I'm gonna frame it. I can always unframe it.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45941
Andy

I gotta say, I think it's kinda cool not knowing. It's like one of those movies that ends on a note of mystery. Did the butler do it? Are they ghosts? You know? It's kinda sophisticated.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45942
Kelly

Everybody hates those endings!

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45943
Pam

Yeah, I hate those endings.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45944
Oscar

I-

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45945
Kevin

I was looking for patterns.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45946
Oscar

I know.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45947
Ryan

It's all a mind game. He wanted us to see the list. He's a genius. You guys just don't get him.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45948
Creed

I made a list like this for Congress when I worked in Hollywood in the 50's, they're meaningless.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45949
Toby

Guys. Really, it's ok. Everyone has made a really solid first impression, I don't think there's any reason for anybody to worry.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45950
Toby

I am on the wrong side, and I am freaking out here.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45951
Dwight

Man, it's like hoisting a manatee. I can't get a grip it's so vast.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45952
Jim

Ryan? A little help?

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45953
Dwight

God. How do whalers do it?

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45954
Ryan

Here's the way trends move across the country. They start in Japan. L.A. And New York get it soon after that. Seattle looks at it, decides not to do it. Chicago gets it three months later. Then it travels down the Mississippi, OK? All the red states start doing it. Good Morning America does a piece about it. And then, it shows up in Scranton.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45955
Andy

Creed! Wha- This is a safety issue with you. There's no way to know if you're dead!

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45956
Gabe

Good morning.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45957
Gabe

Corporate wants me up here, Dunder Mifflin wants me down there. What they worked out is that Monday, Wednesday and Friday I'm here in Scranton, Tuesday Thursday I'm in Tallahassee, I mean I feel like Vera Farmiga in Up in the Air, you know? More money more problems. Although, I didn't get a raise, so you know. Same money, more problems.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45958
Ryan

It's called owling. You'll read about it in like eight months.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45959
Jim

Uh, I will have the chicken piccata with a side salad.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45960
Robert

That sounds good.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45961
Kevin

Chicken piccata, side salad.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45962
Darryl

Chicken piccata, salad on the side please.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45963
Oscar

I'll start with a side salad and uh, oh, chicken piccata.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45964
Toby

Chicken piccata, side salad.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45965
Angela

Side salad, chicken piccata on the side.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45966
Phyllis

I'll start with a side salad, then a chicken piccata.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45967
Dwight

Steak. Rare.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45968
Robert

Jim, you alright? What are you doing?

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45969
Jim

Good. What? Nothin'

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45970
Pam

Oh! Text from Jim. 'This is...' hmm.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45971
Ryan

Profound man, your husband.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45972
Dwight

One more. To our boss!

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45973
All

Hey!

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45974
Jim

I don't think we have to do this again cause it's gonna take a whole.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45975
Dwight

You know what? Let us treat you. What do you say? It has been such a pleasure.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45976
Robert

I can expense it.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45977
Darryl & Oscar

Let him expense it, Dwight.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45978
Dwight

I insist. It is gonna be our treat, please?

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45979
Robert

Thank you.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45980
Waiter

Hi, Mr. Shrute. I've waited on you before. I just wanted to let you know that gratuity is not included in the bill and tips are expected.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45981
Dwight

Oh, tips are expected?

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45982
Waiter

Yes sir.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45983
Dwight

Then expect to be shocked. Jim, you owe me $14.75. Oscar, $14.75. Darryl....

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45984
Gabe

My entire childhood, I was the one left out, and I said to myself: Gabe, if you just achieve some success, you'll be part of them. You'll be part of the happy ones. But instead, people just used my success as a new way to shut me out.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45985
Meredith

Hey, this ain't no Breakfast Club, bitch.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45986
Dwight

Whoo! Yeah! Yeah!

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45987
Jim

Come on, man.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45988
Dwight

Winners!

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45989