Every line from The Office season 8, episode 15, in script order. First aired February 16, 2012.
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Erin
Building loyalty.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50210
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Dwight
Killing royalty. The truth be told, we should really disregard Anderson's three pillars. He was later diagnosed with dementia. You know what is important? Is Dwight's pillars, and there is only one: desire. Do we have a desire to dominate the retail space? Not just succeed in it, but to dominate, and looking around this room I'm not so sure that we do, but we can get there, and I can lead us there, and that is all that matters.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50211
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Nellie
Very true. Where there's a will, there's a way. I once spent a passionate night with Hugh Grant's brother, John Grant. He's older than Hugh, just a little bit uglier. How did I pull that off? Sheer force of will. That is very good, Dwight.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50212
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Dwight
Thank you very much. Any other questions? Jim?
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50213
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Jim
You are bleeding through your shirt.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50214
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Dwight
Oops. That's embarrassing. Egg on my face. Ah.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50215
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Pam
Hey, having fun?
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50216
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Andy
Yes I am, as a matter of fact.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50217
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Pam
Well I know how it is. I know it's a lot of fun. I don't know how it is. Andy, this is a lame job. What are you doing here?
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50218
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Andy
I found my calling.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50219
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Darryl
Andy, when I was twelve years old, we did a field trip, a lock-in at the zoo. I met this girl, I thought she was so perfect. I was in love with her. But when the sun came up, I knew it wasn't real, 'cause she was ugly and I had grown tired of her. I know you want reception today, but tomorrow you won't want to do her. She's a dog.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50220
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Pam
Guys, I don't like this analogy.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50221
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Andy
Ugh! Fine. Did you see this?
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50222
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Pam
It's nice.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50223
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Andy
I mean...
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50224
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Nellie
How are you feeling?
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50225
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Dwight
Amazing. Just lost four ounces of appendix, already replaced it with muscle.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50226
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Nellie
Can I see the wound?
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50227
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Dwight
Oh God.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50228
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Nellie
Oh! That's disgusting. That's barely healed.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50229
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Dwight
You're not paying me to heal, you're paying me to kick ass.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50230
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Nellie
A few hours ago, your body was open like a cabinet.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50231
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Dwight
That's right.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50232
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Nellie
That is amazing. Todd, look at that.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50233
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Todd Packer
Oh, yikes. Incoming-
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50234
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Dwight
Ah! Not so fast.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50235
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Nellie
Would you come in early tomorrow so we can talk about the store over breakfast? I feel you have a lot to offer.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50236
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Todd Packer
It would be an honor, ma'am.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50237
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Dwight
I'll go ahead and cancel my post-op check-up right now.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50238
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Dwight
I had two goals today. The first was to make myself the clear candidate for vice president. I achieved that, no thanks to my appendix. The second was to find a memorable souvenir for Philip. For that, I do have to thank my appendix.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50239
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Andy
Dunder Mifflin, how can I help you save money on paper? This is Andrew.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50240
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Donna Muraski
Hi Andrew. What happened to Erin?
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50241
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Andy
Oh, she's on an assignment in Florida for a couple of weeks.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50242
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Donna Muraski
Oh, good for her. She's such a sweetheart. You tell her Donna Muraski misses her.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50243
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Andy
I miss her too.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50244
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Nellie
Everyone, we have a very special guest. He turned an idea into a store, into hundreds of stores. I give you Wally Amos, founder of Famous Amos Cookies.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50245
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Wally Amos
Aloha, aloha, aloha. So I hear you're all looking to bake up some dough in the sales game. Well, back when I was regular Amos-
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50246
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Stanley
What's under the cloth?
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50247
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Wally Amos
We'll get to that.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50248
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Todd Packer
Cookies. Bet you anything it's cookies.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50249
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Wally Amos
It's cookies. Let me- let me finish my speech first.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50250
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Nellie
Ah, we get the gist. It's just success and effort, isn't it? So just, don't be coy, make with the cookies!
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50251
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Erin
Famous, hi. I'm sure you get ideas for new cookies all the time, but I-
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50252
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Wally Amos
Is it oatmeal with no raisins?
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50253
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Erin
I'm sorry to have wasted your time.
Season 8 · Episode 15 · Line 50254