Every line from The Office season 8, episode 12, in script order. First aired January 19, 2012.
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Erin
Ow.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49132
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Andy
Hey, Stanley. Um, what happened to my pants?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49133
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Stanley
I moved them. Pants only need a chair if there's a person in them.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49134
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Andy
Where...
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49135
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Erin
Come on, don't you want to play?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49136
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Dwight
Oh really?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49137
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Erin
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49138
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Dwight
Yeah, you want to play you little hick?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49139
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Kevin
Whoa.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49140
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Angela
Dwight! Oh my gosh! Dwight!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49141
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Robert
Here we have the parlor. I imagined people would set down their coats and symbolically their inhibitions. This was the gateway. You enter this room a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a judge, but beyond it you're simply a penis, a vagina, hunger, ache. Susan used it as a Pilates studio.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49142
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Oscar
Holy cow!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49143
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Robert
Wine collection.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49144
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Oscar
How many bottles? Three hundred?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49145
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Robert
About twelve hundred. What the hell, grab a bottle. Less inventory for the lawyers.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49146
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Oscar
Toby! Chateau Margaux ninety-five. You know your wine.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49147
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Toby
Well, and you have a... yes, a- d- another chateau.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49148
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Ryan
Robert, you are too kind.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49149
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Robert
Oh.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49150
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Gabe
Too kind doesn't begin to cover it.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49151
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Ryan
With ammunition like this we are in for quite a night, you and me.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49152
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Gabe
And Gabe-y makes three.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49153
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Jim
Robert, thank you. Thank you for this. Thank you for all this. This night's been magical.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49154
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Robert
Jim, come see this next room. I think you especially would like it.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49155
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Jim
Really? Why?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49156
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Robert
I don't know. Maybe not. Just come.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49157
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Erin
Oh!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49158
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Dwight
You regret attacking me now, hick? Huh?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49159
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Erin
Stop it. Dwight, I was flirting with you. I was trying to use you to make Andy jealous.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49160
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Dwight
I'm not going to help you. Why would you choose me? Because I'm mighty? Because I'm the manliest man in the office? I'll do it.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49161
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Erin
Oh Dwight!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49162
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Erin
Stop.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49163
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Dwight
You stop.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49164
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Erin
No, you stop.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49165
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Dwight
No, you stop.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49166
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Erin
Is he looking? Oh. You can stop.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49167
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Dwight
Okay, you can stop.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49168
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Erin
No, no, no, he's not looking.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49169
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Dwight
No, you can stop.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49170
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Erin
You can actually stop.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49171
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Kelly
Whoa, you guys, I just found this insane engagement ring. Is anyone missing this?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49172
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Meredith
The main stone's missing.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49173
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Kelly
I don't know. It looks pretty great to me.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49174
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Robert
I pictured myself here every night eating a leg of mutton, the juices dripping down my bare chest, wiping my fingers on the walls. Then I met the vegan.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49175
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Jim
Good night.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49176
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Oscar
To the kitchen!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49177
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All
To the kitchen!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49178
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Robert
To the kitchen. Onward!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49179
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Oscar
Toby, what's compelling about this is the note of persimmon. Right?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49180
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Toby
Note? It's a symphony.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49181
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Oscar
Okay, you have to join my wine-tasting club.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49182
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Toby
I would love that.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49183
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Toby
Toby, you are playing a dangerous game. Guess I'm through the gateway now, though, right?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49184
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Darryl
You know, I don't think I've ever been in this exact angle before. I was scared at first, but I like it.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49185
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Meredith
You guys got to try this pool. No top scum, no band-aids. This thing is choice.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49186
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Val
You in?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49187
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Darryl
Yeah, sure, sure. I'll be right in.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49188
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Darryl
I've been working out. But, the problem is, I've been building muscle underneath. And that top layer hasn't burned off yet. Awkward stage.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49189
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Dwight
Ah, mmm. So good. Now take a chip, crush it into my face, really rub the grease around. Do it. Now rub it in. Oh, yeah, that's so good. Ah...
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49190
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Erin
Andy's not even looking. I think sexy eating is a dead end.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49191
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Dwight
Damn it.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49192
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Erin
What is the most romantic possible thing?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49193
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Dwight
We can get some chicken fights going in the pool.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49194
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Erin
Dwight, that's just- that's really perfect. Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49195
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Both
Yes!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49196
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Angela
You're in my way!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49197
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Erin
Andy, Dwight and I challenge you and Jess to a chicken fight. Winner take all.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49198
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Dwight
Chicken fight!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49199
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Andy
No thanks.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49200
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Erin
Dang it! What the heck already?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49201
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Dwight
Hey, Cathy. Chicken fight!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49202
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Cathy
Okay, yeah. Who's going to be my partner? Where's Jim?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49203
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Kevin
I'm right here! Cold. Cold. Come on, Cath.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49204
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Dwight
Yeah- oh!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49205
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Erin
Yes! Woo!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49206
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Dwight
Woohoo! Yes!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49207
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Erin
Dwight, our chemistry is really clicking. We work so well together.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49208
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Dwight
I know. I could just bang you right now.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49209
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Erin
He's not looking. Hey!
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49210
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Robert
I had two bears sewn together to make this king-size. Total waste of two bears.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49211
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Jim
To both these bears.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49212
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Ryan
To both these bears.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49213
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Toby
Bears.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49214
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Oscar
To both these bears.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49215
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Robert
When I put in the screening room, I bought three movies: Caligula, Last Tango in Paris, and Emmanuelle 2. Last two movies I actually watched in here Marley and Me and On Golden Pond.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49216
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Ryan
I mean, it's clearly meant for watching erotic cinema.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49217
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Gabe
Yup. We could watch some right now if you want. I got a Korean film on my iPod if you want to just- if you have the cables.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49218
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Andy
Kelly, that's a crazy ring you found.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49219
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Kelly
Yeah, thanks. I'm really glad I found it.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49220
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Andy
I can't believe you're wearing it. Are you not superstitious at all?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49221
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Kelly
Shh. Of course I'm superstitious. What are you talking about?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49222
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Andy
The ring of a failed marriage might have some sinister energy, right? Am I just being silly?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49223
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Phyllis
Oh, I don't think you're being silly.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49224
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Kelly
Oh God.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49225
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Andy
You know what, I can just sell it and put the money in the party fund.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49226
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Phyllis
Then another woman will get it. We can't allow that. We have to destroy it.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49227
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Jessica
Come on. Let's chicken fight those two.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49228
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Val
How was that?
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49229
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Kevin
Okay. Watch my toes.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49230
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Darryl
Hey Val. Want a beer? It might taste better than that pool water you've been drinking.
Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49231