Every line from The Office season 8, episode 11, in script order. First aired January 12, 2012.
-
Meredith
Wrong. The answer is dyslexia!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48963
-
Host
That's correct for the Einsteins.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48964
-
Andy
Whoo! Yeah!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48965
-
Host
Sir-
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48966
-
Andy
Go Einsteins!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48967
-
Host
Dial it back, this isn't Tail Feathers, okay?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48968
-
Robert
They haven't really improved on the Oreo, have they?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48969
-
Dwight
No thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48970
-
Robert
Sit down, Dwight.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48971
-
Dwight
Let me tell you why I should be the next manager with a riddle: A manager, a salesman, a leader and a warrior walk into a restaurant. The hostess says, 'table for one?' How is this possible?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48972
-
Robert
You were dining alone? All those people are you?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48973
-
Dwight
Yes, exactly. Riddle number two: Who is going-
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48974
-
Robert
Ah-ah-ah- your drive, your ambition. It would be wasted on a manager's job. And Florida, you don't want to live here. Even I don't want to live here. That's why I'm always at my place in Scranton. Florida is America's basement: It's wet, it's filled with mold, strange insects, alligators. Alligators are dinosaurs, Dwight. You know that, right?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48975
-
Dwight
N... it's complicated.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48976
-
Robert
This medal was my grandfather's. He received it for acts of courage. For excellence. It's a tribute one man gives another. I could give you a job, Dwight. Why not let me give you something even better?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48977
-
Dwight
It's a job interview, not a flea market.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48978
-
Robert
Dwight, the job is not right for you. Now, when something comes along that is right for you, I'll try you out. Now get the hell out of my place.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48979
-
Dwight
Yes.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48980
-
Host
Final round. Last two teams squaring off. I hope you're ready to play doctor. Our question is about health and the human body.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48981
-
Andy
Oh, come on!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48982
-
Host
The standard American analog scale has a maximum capacity of what weight?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48983
-
Kevin
Three hundred pounds!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48984
-
Host
Point for the Einsteins. Here's your final question. Cinephiles, put on your memory berets: This 2001 masterpiece from Gilles Paquet-Brenner explores the intricate dynamics of a family in disarray.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48985
-
Oscar
Le titre du film est Le Scaphandre et le Papillon.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48986
-
Oscar's friend
Yes!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48987
-
Host
I'm sorry, no. Over to the Einsteins.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48988
-
Kevin
Les Jolies Choses.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48989
-
Meredith
Are you sure?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48990
-
Kevin
Marie Cotillard exposes herself a number of times in that film.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48991
-
Host
The Einsteins win it!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48992
-
Oscar
No! Come on!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48993
-
Kevin
Look, I know it's easy to say tonight was just a fluke, and maybe it was, but here's a piece of trivia: a fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea. So if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are, you just might catch one.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48994
-
Stonewall Host
Welcome to the Stonewall Alliance Trivia Championships! First prize is forty-five hundred dollars!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48995
-
Kevin
Let's just do our thing, collect our hardware and get the hell home.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48996
-
Stonewall Host
Riboflavin.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48997
-
Kevin
Riboflavin?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48998
-
Stonewall Host
Michigan. The President of the United States is 'P.O.T.U.S.' John Steinbeck wrote The Grapes of Wrath.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48999
-
Kelly
Cause it's like, really...
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49000
-
Andy
Einsteins! Great work.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49001
-
Kevin
Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49002
-
Andy
You know what I thought would be fun? Is we do like uh, a switch-em-up maybe? Since only one of us needs to win, maybe I can get Kevin and Kelly and put together an all-star team?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49003
-
Oscar
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Andy, there is no switching teams.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49004
-
Kevin
Andy, we're fine. We don't wanna switch. We're already like, the perfect unit.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49005
-
Andy
Alright. Well just stay focused, try to concentrate.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49006
-
Meredith
Whoo! Brought some brain food.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49007
-
Erin
Yeah!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49008
-
Kelly
Having fun.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49009
-
Meredith & Kelly
One, two, three...[team takes shots]
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49010
-
Kevin
When I dropped out of school to watch more sports, a lot of people thought that I was nuts. Well who's laughing now?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49011
-
Announcer
Say 'Shalom' to your shrubs on this Jewish holiday that celebrates the new year for trees.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49012
-
Kelly
Tu Bishvat!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49013
-
Announcer
That's correct.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49014
-
Einsteins
Whoo!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49015
-
Announcer
Point for the Einsteins.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49016
-
Kelly
Hey, is it true that you're not allowed to spend time with your girlfriend during the month of Tu Bishvat?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49017
-
Announcer
Uh, I don't think so.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49018
-
Kelly
I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Ryan lies to me and says he has a whole Jewish holiday for an entire month.....
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49019
-
Oscar
It gets better, kids. It gets so much better that one day, your stupid coworkers will be excited to show up at your gay bar and ruin your trivia night.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49020
-
Andy
Alright, if you're not going to help us out by buying our own paper, could you sell eight hundred dollars more paper than usual today? That would be amazing.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49021
-
Jim
Andy, it's the last day of the quarter. We've already called all our clients, so making that much in a day is going to be tough.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49022
-
Andy
Not helping, tuna.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49023
-
Stanley
Yeah, I'm sitting on twenty-five hundred in sales I can make at any time but those are my wait till the separation is legal sales.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49024
-
Andy
We gotta figure this out. Think of the look on Robert's face when we tell him we met our 8% goal.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49025
-
Kevin
Oh, will we get to see that look?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49026
-
Andy
No, that's why...that's why I said think of it.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49027
-
Jim
Andy, we're gonna do our best. But you know what? At the end of the day seven point...whatever percent is pretty good.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49028
-
Group
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49029
-
Angela
Yeah, it is, Andy.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49030
-
Andy
Have I mentioned that it's also quite good for amateur animation? Took me two weeks.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49031