Every line from The Office season 8, episode 11, in script order. First aired January 12, 2012.
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Meredith
Good-timers follow me.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48863
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Phyllis
Backups.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48864
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Stanley
Go on, kid. You know you don't belong here.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48865
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Andy
A-team.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48866
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Jim
Okay.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48867
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Andy
All right, everybody. Nice self-awareness. Except...
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48868
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Kevin
Okay.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48869
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Jim
There's a table over here.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48870
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Host
All right, first question everyone: Ray Charles famously had this state on his mind. What is its capital?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48871
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Andy
Oh, we got this!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48872
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Creed
Let's reverse engineer this. You're a black singer. Where do you go? Somewhere where you're a novelty. Alaska?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48873
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Stanley
Atlanta.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48874
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Phyllis
Oh I know you think that, because that's where the Olympics were held.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48875
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Cathy
My cousins were actually at those Olympics.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48876
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Stanley
Keep talking all you want.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48877
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Kevin
How am I supposed to know what was on his mind? Ooh, what do blind people think about?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48878
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Erin
Okay, dogs, canes, signs, manholes, stairs, piano, darkness.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48879
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Host
Okay, time's up. Let's get the boards up. 'Atlanta, Georgia' is the correct answer.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48880
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Gabe
Hey man, uh, look. Unfortunately, Bill had to go fight a fire, so your appointment got-
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48881
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Dwight
There's no fires within eight miles of here.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48882
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Gabe
Well, it's nine miles away. I'm going to be meeting with you on his behalf.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48883
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Dwight
What? No, no. Excuse me! Lady! Get anyone from the COO's office on the phone this instant!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48884
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Receptionist
This must be very frustrating.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48885
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Gabe
I can see you in the jungle now.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48886
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Host
Okay, now, you're not an all-star of the NBA, but you did get your game on when you won the NBA's Sixth Man of the Year award in 2011. Who are you?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48887
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Andy
Jim, Darryl. Your time to shine.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48888
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Jim
Shawn Marion.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48889
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Darryl
Yes, Shawn Marion.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48890
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Ryan
That doesn't sound right. I want to say, LaDameon Washington.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48891
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Jim
Wrong, for so many reasons.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48892
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Phyllis
Well, I know Elizabeth Taylor's sixth man was Richard Burton. Is that helpful?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48893
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Stanley
That's it. I'm going to go watch the boats on the river.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48894
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Kevin
Ron Artest, Kelly.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48895
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Kelly
No, it's Lamar Odom. If it'd been Ron Artest, it would have come up in Dancing with the Stars, when they pan over his trophy case when he's at home with his family. Lamar winning Sixth Man was a big storyline on Chloe and Lamar.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48896
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Host
All right, boards up. Let's see who got it. 'Lamar Odom' is what we were looking for. 'Lamar Odom' Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48897
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Jim
Oh my God. Lamar Odom, yes.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48898
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Kevin
Nicely done!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48899
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Andy
You're my sports guys! You're ESPN, you're ESPN Classic, Ryan is MSNBC. I'm E!, TLC and Oxygen.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48900
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Darryl
Chill, man. This plan is airtight.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48901
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Dwight
So it's a very simple argument of why I should be put in charge of southeast printer sales. Nobody has sold more printers in the northeast than me. Bottom line, I know the product. I get it!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48902
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Receptionist
Well, you got my vote.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48903
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Dwight
Oh my God.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48904
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Gabe
I know.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48905
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Dwight
Most of all, I believe that character is destiny. And my character is one that- wait why are you smiling?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48906
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Gabe
What?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48907
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Dwight
What's with the smile?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48908
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Gabe
You're doing great. You know, so good.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48909
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Dwight
And my character is one that will never give up until greatness is on the horizon, behind us.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48910
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Gabe
Dwight, that was a fantastic presentation. Put your hand on my hand. Flush! Ow!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48911
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Dwight
Take me to Robert.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48912
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Gabe
Ow! He went home.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48913
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Dwight
Take me to his house.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48914
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Gabe
Uh, it's a condo and it's long-term business housing.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48915
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Dwight
You know where it is. Lead me there.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48916
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Gabe
Ow! Ow! Stephanie, help!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48917
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Dwight
Listen, you're a perfectly fine toilet. I'm just an extraordinary piece of crap. Let's go.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48918
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Host
Excuse me, sir, on the Dunder-Mifflin A-team? Excuse me, sir?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48919
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Ryan
Yeah?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48920
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Host
I'm sure you're just checking your Grindr account... but you can't check smart phones during trivia, it's against the rules.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48921
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Ryan
Okay, I'm turning it off.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48922
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Host
Okay, you're not turning it off.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48923
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Ryan
I won't look at it.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48924
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Host
Sir?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48925
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Ryan
I can't- I can't not touch it.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48926
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Host
Okay, then we're going to have to take it away. Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48927
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Ryan
Look, I can't, I can't not have my phone. I'm sorry. I want to be with my phone.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48928
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Host
All right, guys. After nine rounds, let's check the scores. In first place, with nine points, it's Aesop's Foibles. The Queerenstein Bears have seven points. Dunder-Mifflin A-Team has four points.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48929
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Jim
All right.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48930
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Host
D.M. Backup Team has three points. The Einsteins have eight points. Ladies Gaga have five points.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48931
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Andy
So the best chance of hitting our mark is now in the hands, and brains, of Kevin, Meredith, Erin and Kelly. Do I like these odds? My answer is no.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48932
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Dwight
Which one is it?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48933
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Gabe
I don't know. All I know is the building.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48934
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Dwight
Robert! Robert California! Robert!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48935
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Robert
Dwight! How nice of Gabe to show you where I live. Come around. 102.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48936
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Host
All right guys, time's up. Who was the relatively unknown patent clerk who discovered that energy equals mass times the speed of light squared? Looks like everyone gets a point for Albert Einstein. Oh wait. Except for the Einsteins. That's all right. Which means the top three teams are going to finish it off in the speed round. So let's get everyone some bells. In third place we have the Einsteins.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48937
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Kevin
Oh yeah!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48938
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Kelly
What!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48939
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Host
In second place, we have the Queerenstein Bears.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48940
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Queerenstein Bears
Whoo! Let's go!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48941
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Host
And, in first place, is Aesop's Foibles.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48942
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Oscar's friend
Whoo!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48943
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Darryl
Yeah, we're going to get clobbered.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48944
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Host
Ring it in when you know it. First question: This man had a fatwa declared on him when- Einsteins?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48945
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Meredith
What?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48946
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Erin
What is it?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48947
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Meredith
What?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48948
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Erin
I did my part, babe. I'm just the bell girl.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48949
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Host
Aesop's?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48950
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Oscar
Salman Rushdie.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48951
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Host
Salman Rushdie is correct. Heading out to sea, sailors. On a square-rigged ship, the sale set furthest forward is called what?
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48952
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Meredith
Princess Ding-Dong, do not hit that bell unless-
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48953
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Erin
Flying jib.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48954
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Host
Flying jib is correct for the Einsteins.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48955
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Robert
Shalom. Give us just a minute. Stu and I are just finishing up our lesson. Trust me. One nine-minute bout is a cardiovascular equivalent of running uphill for three hours. I could go to the gym three times a week or I can wrestle Stu once a month.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48956
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Stu
Grab my knee!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48957
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Gabe
Yay Robert!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48958
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Robert
Guys, please help yourself to some drinks from the fridge.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48959
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Host
According to a recent survey, this is the most common learning disability among American adolescents.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48960
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Oscar's friend
Boom! ADHD!
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48961
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Host
No.
Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48962