Pam

I know a lot of us have been feeling under the weather lately. It's that time of year. And according to a study done by the University of Arizona, they've discovered that your keyboards have hundreds of times more bacteria, per square inch, than a toilet seat.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40146

Kelly

I heard your momma had more bacteria per square inch than a toilet seat.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40147

Michael

That's true, that's true. I dated her momma, and you know what-

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40148

Jim

Stop.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40149

Michael

Um... kay. Uh, alright.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40150

Pam

One of the simplest ways to cut down on the spread of germs is to use something called the vampire cough.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40151

Erin

Di-Did you say vampire?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40152

Pam

Oh, no, it's just that if a vampire had to cough, he would do it like this.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40153

Dwight

Uh-huh. Right. And ruin their cloaks? Do you have any idea how expensive wool is in Transylvania? 'Cause of the euro.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40154

Pam

Well, other things you can do to help cut down on the spread of disease are to wash your hands regularly. Don't come in if you're sick.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40155

Dwight

Uh...

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40156

Pam

And get your flu shot. Also, I'm going to set up hand sanitizing stations around the office.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40157

Dwight

NO, no, no. They will cost you your life.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40158

Jim

Elaborate.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40159

Dwight

The worst thing you can do for your immune system is to coddle it. They need to fight their own battles. If Sabre really cared about our well-being, they would set up hand de-sanitizing stations. A simple bowl at every juncture filled with dirt, vomit, fecal matter...

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40160

Pam

I'm not - I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40161

Dwight

Exposing yourself to germs is the best way to make yourself stronger.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40162

Jim

So by that rationale, if I had to sneeze, I should just sneeze on you.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40163

Dwight

Yes. I would welcome it.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40164

Jim

You're welcome.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40165

Dwight

The principle is sound. To avoid illness, expose yourself to germs, enabling your immune system to develop antibodies. I don't know why everyone doesn't do this. Maybe they have something against living forever.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40166

Angela

Jim. Pam. And the precious bundle of God's gift to everything. I wish you both a pleasant day. And you too. Yes. Praise God. Ok.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40167

Pam

Cece's getting christened today.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40168

Jim

Big day.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40169

Pam

Everyone from work is here. We weren't planning on that.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40170

Jim

Nope.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40171

Michael

Top of the Sunday morning to you.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40172

Andy

And a top of the day to you too, sir.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40173

Ryan

Hope you brought your pipes. We're about to smoke the opium of the masses.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40174

Michael

Oh, yes. Doobie-doobie doo.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40175

Michael

I invited everyone in the office because it's not a day for just Jim or Pam or the baby or me. It is about us all. And I thought we should all celebrate... my joy. And our, all of ours joys.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40176

Andy

Ah, man.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40177

Andy

Does the Nard-dog want Nard-pups? Yeah. I want a big ol' litter of Nard-pups. All jumping around, sucking on the teet. Put 'em in a box, give 'em to my neighbors. Yeah, I want kids.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40178

Dwight

For all your paper and printer needs. For all your paper and printer needs. For all your paper and printer needs.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40179

Toby

Sunday church service... it's been a few years. The Big Guy and I, we got some catching up to do.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40180

Michael

Hey. Hey. I got an offer that you can't refuse. Scooch over.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40181

Pam

Oh, Michael, this is just for family.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40182

Michael

But I'm the Godfather.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40183

Jim

It is really funny, but you know that can be confusing at a christening because you are not the godfather.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40184

Michael

Are you talking to me?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40185

Jim

Ok, your turn.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40186

Michael

Scooch. Before I shoot you in the head.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40187

Pam

Okay, Michael. Um, you know I love when you do that voice, but today, I'm so sorry. I need you to tell me that you know you're not Cece's godfather.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40188

Michael

Yeah.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40189

Pam

I'm sorry, Michael. I need you to say it. I'm so sorry.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40190

Michael

I'm not the godfather.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40191

Pam

Okay, thank you.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40192

Michael

So who is the godfather?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40193

Pam

Our friend, Seth, and his wife there.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40194

Michael

Okay. Old friend, like, you've known him since kindergarten?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40195

Pam

No, I met his wife in Mommy and Me. They're a great couple. You should meet them later.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40196

Michael

No, I have plenty of friends, so... all right, well, you have great seats. Enjoy the show.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40197

Pam

Okay. Thank you for coming, Michael.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40198

Michael

I don't even know how to say this, but Cece is turning out to be a little b-i-t-c-h. And that's not true, but her parents are kind of boxing me out.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40199

Church congregation

We ask you, Lord, come to our aid.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40200

Pastor

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40201

All

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40202

Michael

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40203

Pastor

What a terrific day this is, and not just because the Eagles are playing.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40204

Pastor

You may have seen the bus out front. Today we also say good-bye to our young adult ministry. They're leaving for three months to build a school for the village of Quimixto, in Cabo Corrientes, Mexico.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40205

Ryan

I've heard of that place. If you go to Cabo San Lucas, all the prostitutes are from Cabo Corrientes.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40206

Toby

Okay, this is, all right, this is silly. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope...

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40207

Female Church Member

And thank you for your prayers for Justin. We hope for a speedy recovery.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40208

Pastor

Thank you. Anyone else with a prayer or a remembrance?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40209

Dwight

Good morning. Dwight Schrute. Thank you all for your prayers and your remembrances. Like Justin and his disfigurement, I too have had a horrible year. They say that the middle class is disappearing, and with it, the soul of America. So, as a gift to this beautiful congregation, I would like to offer a 4% discount on all Dunder Mifflin Sabre products if you buy a printer at full price.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40210

Pastor

Christening calls to repentance, to faithfulness, and to discipleship. We've come to celebrate these babies.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40211

Pam

Somebody needs a change.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40212

Jim

Right now?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40213

Pam

Well, she can't bring this up with her.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40214

Jim

Okay. All right, come on. Where are we going? Where are we going? We're gonna take a little field trip.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40215

Jim

Okay. Okay. There's my girl. All right. Hold on one second. There we go. What's that face for? Oh, my-oh, my God. Cece, no. No, no, no, not on the dress! Cece, stop!

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40216

Pam

What?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40217

Jim

What?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40218

Pam

Honey, no.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40219

Jim

Yes.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40220

Pam

No, no.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40221

Jim

This is happening.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40222

Pam

We have an extra outfit in the bag.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40223

Jim

No. There's no extra outfit in the bag.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40224

Pam

You said you checked it.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40225

Jim

I did... say that.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40226

Pastor

At this time, will the families please come join me?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40227

Michael

Jim and Pam and Cece really seem to be clicking. They are totally gelling. It's as if they leave my office and they go to another office that sells happiness. And good for them. That's great, because, you know, the paper industry's not gonna last forever.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40228

Pastor

Before we go, I'd like to remind everyone that the 'Halberts' have been kind enough to host a reception next door immediately following the service.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40229

Jim

Mm. No. Wrong on both counts.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40230

Jim

Okay, 'A,' Halbert. And, 'B,' I think a more appropriate statement would be, 'The 'Halberts' are hosting an intimate reception for their invited guests.'

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40231

Ryan

For all their generosity of spirit, they password-protect their wireless?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40232

Kelly

Try 'Jesus.'

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40233

Dwight

Opus dei.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40234

Male church member

Hi. Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40235

Michael

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40236

Female Church Member

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40237

Michael

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40238

Ryan

Hello.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40239

Dwight

Shh, shh, shh.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40240

Michael

How are you? Good morning. Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40241

Lady

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40242

Michael

I am feeling this. Call it the Holy Spirit or the passion of the Christ. I am loving these people.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40243

Jim

Hey.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40244

Doug [church member]

I'm Doug Mcpherson, Davey's uncle.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40245

"Christening" Quotes