"Christening" Quotes

Every quote from The Office season 7, episode 7, in script order. First aired November 4, 2010.

286 quotes · page 1 of 3

Pam

I know a lot of us have been feeling under the weather lately. It's that time of year. And according to a study done by the University of Arizona, they've discovered that your keyboards have hundreds of times more bacteria, per square inch, than a toilet seat.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40146
Kelly

I heard your momma had more bacteria per square inch than a toilet seat.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40147
Michael

That's true, that's true. I dated her momma, and you know what-

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40148
Jim

Stop.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40149
Michael

Um... kay. Uh, alright.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40150
Pam

One of the simplest ways to cut down on the spread of germs is to use something called the vampire cough.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40151
Erin

Di-Did you say vampire?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40152
Pam

Oh, no, it's just that if a vampire had to cough, he would do it like this.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40153
Dwight

Uh-huh. Right. And ruin their cloaks? Do you have any idea how expensive wool is in Transylvania? 'Cause of the euro.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40154
Pam

Well, other things you can do to help cut down on the spread of disease are to wash your hands regularly. Don't come in if you're sick.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40155
Dwight

Uh...

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40156
Pam

And get your flu shot. Also, I'm going to set up hand sanitizing stations around the office.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40157
Dwight

NO, no, no. They will cost you your life.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40158
Jim

Elaborate.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40159
Dwight

The worst thing you can do for your immune system is to coddle it. They need to fight their own battles. If Sabre really cared about our well-being, they would set up hand de-sanitizing stations. A simple bowl at every juncture filled with dirt, vomit, fecal matter...

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40160
Pam

I'm not - I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40161
Dwight

Exposing yourself to germs is the best way to make yourself stronger.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40162
Jim

So by that rationale, if I had to sneeze, I should just sneeze on you.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40163
Dwight

Yes. I would welcome it.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40164
Jim

You're welcome.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40165
Dwight

The principle is sound. To avoid illness, expose yourself to germs, enabling your immune system to develop antibodies. I don't know why everyone doesn't do this. Maybe they have something against living forever.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40166
Angela

Jim. Pam. And the precious bundle of God's gift to everything. I wish you both a pleasant day. And you too. Yes. Praise God. Ok.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40167
Pam

Cece's getting christened today.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40168
Jim

Big day.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40169
Pam

Everyone from work is here. We weren't planning on that.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40170
Jim

Nope.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40171
Michael

Top of the Sunday morning to you.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40172
Andy

And a top of the day to you too, sir.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40173
Ryan

Hope you brought your pipes. We're about to smoke the opium of the masses.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40174
Michael

Oh, yes. Doobie-doobie doo.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40175
Michael

I invited everyone in the office because it's not a day for just Jim or Pam or the baby or me. It is about us all. And I thought we should all celebrate... my joy. And our, all of ours joys.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40176
Andy

Ah, man.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40177
Andy

Does the Nard-dog want Nard-pups? Yeah. I want a big ol' litter of Nard-pups. All jumping around, sucking on the teet. Put 'em in a box, give 'em to my neighbors. Yeah, I want kids.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40178
Dwight

For all your paper and printer needs. For all your paper and printer needs. For all your paper and printer needs.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40179
Toby

Sunday church service... it's been a few years. The Big Guy and I, we got some catching up to do.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40180
Michael

Hey. Hey. I got an offer that you can't refuse. Scooch over.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40181
Pam

Oh, Michael, this is just for family.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40182
Michael

But I'm the Godfather.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40183
Jim

It is really funny, but you know that can be confusing at a christening because you are not the godfather.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40184
Michael

Are you talking to me?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40185
Jim

Ok, your turn.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40186
Michael

Scooch. Before I shoot you in the head.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40187
Pam

Okay, Michael. Um, you know I love when you do that voice, but today, I'm so sorry. I need you to tell me that you know you're not Cece's godfather.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40188
Michael

Yeah.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40189
Pam

I'm sorry, Michael. I need you to say it. I'm so sorry.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40190
Michael

I'm not the godfather.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40191
Pam

Okay, thank you.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40192
Michael

So who is the godfather?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40193
Pam

Our friend, Seth, and his wife there.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40194
Michael

Okay. Old friend, like, you've known him since kindergarten?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40195
Pam

No, I met his wife in Mommy and Me. They're a great couple. You should meet them later.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40196
Michael

No, I have plenty of friends, so... all right, well, you have great seats. Enjoy the show.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40197
Pam

Okay. Thank you for coming, Michael.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40198
Michael

I don't even know how to say this, but Cece is turning out to be a little b-i-t-c-h. And that's not true, but her parents are kind of boxing me out.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40199
Church congregation

We ask you, Lord, come to our aid.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40200
Pastor

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40201
All

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40202
Michael

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40203
Pastor

What a terrific day this is, and not just because the Eagles are playing.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40204
Pastor

You may have seen the bus out front. Today we also say good-bye to our young adult ministry. They're leaving for three months to build a school for the village of Quimixto, in Cabo Corrientes, Mexico.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40205
Ryan

I've heard of that place. If you go to Cabo San Lucas, all the prostitutes are from Cabo Corrientes.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40206
Toby

Okay, this is, all right, this is silly. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope...

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40207
Female Church Member

And thank you for your prayers for Justin. We hope for a speedy recovery.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40208
Pastor

Thank you. Anyone else with a prayer or a remembrance?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40209
Dwight

Good morning. Dwight Schrute. Thank you all for your prayers and your remembrances. Like Justin and his disfigurement, I too have had a horrible year. They say that the middle class is disappearing, and with it, the soul of America. So, as a gift to this beautiful congregation, I would like to offer a 4% discount on all Dunder Mifflin Sabre products if you buy a printer at full price.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40210
Pastor

Christening calls to repentance, to faithfulness, and to discipleship. We've come to celebrate these babies.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40211
Pam

Somebody needs a change.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40212
Jim

Right now?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40213
Pam

Well, she can't bring this up with her.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40214
Jim

Okay. All right, come on. Where are we going? Where are we going? We're gonna take a little field trip.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40215
Jim

Okay. Okay. There's my girl. All right. Hold on one second. There we go. What's that face for? Oh, my-oh, my God. Cece, no. No, no, no, not on the dress! Cece, stop!

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40216
Pam

What?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40217
Jim

What?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40218
Pam

Honey, no.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40219
Jim

Yes.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40220
Pam

No, no.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40221
Jim

This is happening.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40222
Pam

We have an extra outfit in the bag.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40223
Jim

No. There's no extra outfit in the bag.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40224
Pam

You said you checked it.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40225
Jim

I did... say that.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40226
Pastor

At this time, will the families please come join me?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40227
Michael

Jim and Pam and Cece really seem to be clicking. They are totally gelling. It's as if they leave my office and they go to another office that sells happiness. And good for them. That's great, because, you know, the paper industry's not gonna last forever.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40228
Pastor

Before we go, I'd like to remind everyone that the 'Halberts' have been kind enough to host a reception next door immediately following the service.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40229
Jim

Mm. No. Wrong on both counts.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40230
Jim

Okay, 'A,' Halbert. And, 'B,' I think a more appropriate statement would be, 'The 'Halberts' are hosting an intimate reception for their invited guests.'

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40231
Ryan

For all their generosity of spirit, they password-protect their wireless?

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40232
Kelly

Try 'Jesus.'

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40233
Dwight

Opus dei.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40234
Male church member

Hi. Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40235
Michael

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40236
Female Church Member

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40237
Michael

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40238
Ryan

Hello.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40239
Dwight

Shh, shh, shh.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40240
Michael

How are you? Good morning. Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40241
Lady

Good morning.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40242
Michael

I am feeling this. Call it the Holy Spirit or the passion of the Christ. I am loving these people.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40243
Jim

Hey.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40244
Doug [church member]

I'm Doug Mcpherson, Davey's uncle.

Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40245