Every line from The Office season 7, episode 6, in script order. First aired October 28, 2010.
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Andy
What about this one? It's kinda badass, right? Just seems kinda crazy in a way I might need right now.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39862
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Jim
I don't know. Oh! That's... not... yours.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39863
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Jim
Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug, and didn't seem to realize that it wasn't his hot coffee. So the question has to be asked, is there no limit to what he won't notice?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39864
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Stanley
What's a seven letter word for purse?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39865
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Kevin
Satchel!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39866
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Stanley
Nope. Starts with an H.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39867
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Andy
Handbag.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39868
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Stanley
Hmmm. Thank you.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39869
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Andy
Shh! Shhh!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39870
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Michael
All right, everybody, take a seat. As you may have heard, our branch on the planet Jupiter is up eight thousand percent in sales!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39871
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All
Yay!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39872
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Stanley
Hold up! That clock is slow. It is five o'clock, I will see you all tomorrow:
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39873
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Pam
Bye, Stanley! Love you!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39874
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Dwight
So long, Stanley!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39875
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Stanley
Night, everybody.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39876
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Oscar
So what kind of statement are you making with that costume, Kevin?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39877
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Kevin
The statement that I am making, Oscar, is that I kind of look like Michael Moore.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39878
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Erin
Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin! Happy Halloween! How can I haunt you today?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39879
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Michael
A lot of people are really getting into Halloween this year! Six seconds, MacGruber! Pam's got a lot of fun stuff planned! Uh, two seconds MacGruber! Including a... costume contest, and bobbing for apples, and a Ouija board... OHHH! BOOM! OHH EXPLOSION! MACGRUBERRRR!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39880
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Pam
People are really into the costume contest this year. Might have something to do with the prize, maybe you've heard of it. The 2011 Scranton Wilkes-Barre coupon book worth over fifteen thousand dollars in savings!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39881
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Jim
Stop.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39882
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Dwight
Too late! If I was the real Scranton Strangler, you'd be so strangled right now. If you're out there, strangler, you will get caught! By me.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39883
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Jim
Sounds like someone's really trying to convince us that he's not the Scranton Strangler.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39884
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Dwight
To my chickens I'm the Scranton Strangler. Oh-ho! That's very funny. Looks like someone decided to dress up as old Dwight Schrute's mom.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39885
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Pam
What?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39886
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Dwight
You're only one third as beautiful and only half her height.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39887
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Pam
I'm supposed to be Olive Oyl. And it makes more sense when I'm standing next to Popeye, but... Jim doesn't want to put his costume on.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39888
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Jim
I am Popeye!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39889
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Jim
I've never really been a costume guy. Even when I was a kid, it just felt like something I was too old for. And then this morning, when Pam hands me this little number ...no.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39890
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Gabe
In case you can't read m-m-my Poker Face... we will be reviewing our sales policies. I have ten seconds to read them or this whole place blows up.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39891
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Michael
MACGRUBER!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39892
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Todd Packer
Lame. Why don't witches wear panties?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39893
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Michael
Oh, here we go!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39894
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Todd Packer
Because they need to grip the broom!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39895
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Michael
OH! Who likes to water ski on Lake Erie? No wai-where does Dracula like to water ski?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39896
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Dwight
Lake Erie.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39897
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Gabe
When our warehouse workers make deliveries, they're going to be encouraged to offer clients extra products. And then they will split those commissions with sales.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39898
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Michael
So, wait, drivers are going to be able to sell paper on the road?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39899
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Gabe
That is correct.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39900
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Todd Packer
Has anyone started calling you 'Gabe-wad' yet?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39901
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Gabe
Not here.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39902
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Danny
Gabe-wad.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39903
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Gabe
Okay, guys, fun is fun, but-
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39904
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Michael
Blackula!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39905
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Darryl
Dracula.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39906
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Michael
Oh, so... I almost forgot. You'll find this hilarious. Apparently corporate is going to have drivers sell paper on their routes now. That's like, exactly sort of the idea that you had.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39907
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Darryl
Yes. I do remember saying something like that to you.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39908
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Michael
Yeah. I'm sorry. I blew this. You should have gotten credit for that, man.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39909
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Darryl
I'm just glad we're gonna try it out.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39910
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Michael
Really? We're good?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39911
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Darryl
Yeah. We're cool.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39912
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Michael
Okay. Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39913
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Darryl
What's under your shirt?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39914
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Michael
Oh. It's a ream of paper. Thought you might hit me.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39915
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Michael
Darryl Philbin is the greatest guy in the world. And you know what I'd like? I would like to have all the racists brought together and take Darryl Philbin out to lunch. Just to see what they're missing.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39916
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Toby
It's a great stick, right?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39917
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Ryan
It's really good. It's a classic. I think you might win the whole thing with that.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39918
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Toby
Thanks!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39919
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Oscar
Everyone realizes that this coupon book isn't actually worth fifteen thousand dollars, right? You'd have to spend two hundred thousand dollars on crap you don't actually need to get fifteen thousand dollars worth of benefits. I'm not the only one who sees this, right?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39920
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Toby
No.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39921
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Ryan
No.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39922
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Kelly
I get that. I get that.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39923
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Danny
Excuse me, everybody. I want to invite you all to the Halloween party I'm having at my bar.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39924
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Kevin
You own a bar?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39925
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Danny
Public School, at exit 11.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39926
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Oscar
That's a great name. You're hilarious. A plus!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39927
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Danny
So. You're all on the list!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39928
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Ryan
Hey, man, can I get a plus five? It's all guys.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39929
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Creed
Hey, what's the crowd like, Danny? Our age?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39930
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Danny
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39931
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Kevin
I don't think that she would leave Jim for Danny.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39932
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Phyllis
I don't know, they're both handsome.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39933
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Dwight
Pam is gonna choose whoever has a scent most like that of her father. Does anyone remember what her dad smelled like?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39934
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Phyllis
I think he-
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39935
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Creed
Hey hey hey, quiet, here she comes! Did you hear about that Danny guy? Heard he used to date Pam.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39936
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Jim
So four years ago, when I was in Stamford, Connecticut, and dating someone else, Pam went on two dates with Danny. Which was obviously the greatest love story ever told, given how much people are walking on eggshells around us.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39937
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Pam
We were basically Romeo and Juliet.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39938
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Jim
That's right.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39939
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Pam
Except where Juliet doesn't have that great a time and Romeo doesn't call back after two dates.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39940
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Jim
Yikes.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39941
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Pam
But I've learned to love again. He's a cartoon sailor.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39942
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Jim
Oh, no.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39943
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Pam
And looks so handsome in his UNIFORM! Please?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39944
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Jim
No. No, I'm not gonna-no.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39945
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Andy
Tuna! Tuna! Do you want us to skip this party?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39946
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Jim
I don't care.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39947
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Kevin
I am never gonna forget what Danny did to Pam. I forget nothing. I'm like an elephant in that way.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39948
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Andy
You know what else? The-this... this sucks for Jim. Right? But it also sucks for us. Because we don't get invited to a ton of Halloween parties.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39949
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Kevin
Yeah, and everyone else is gonna be there. Stanley, Phyllis, Angela, Darryl... Creed's a maybe.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39950
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Andy
Creed's going?!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39951
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Jim
Madge from the warehouse just made her first sale. Madge. We should have been doing this a long time ago.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39952
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Michael
Erin! Would you please do me a solid and get Darryl Philbin on the speakerphone?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39953
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Darryl
Hello?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39954
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Michael
Hi, Darryl, come out here, please.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39955
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Darryl
I'm good.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39956
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Michael
You need to stop being so shy, come out here, and embrace who you really are, superstar!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39957
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Darryl
This is embarrassing, Michael.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39958
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Michael
Yeah, I bet it is! If you're gonna do your job well here, you gotta get used to being embarrassed.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39959
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Darryl
Let me put my shoes on.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39960
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Pam
Um, hit the speakerphone button. The speakerphone button? The same button as you hit before... or sit on it.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39961