Every line from The Office season 7, episode 23, in script order. First aired May 12, 2011.
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Kevin
Hey, Dwight, gimme a back massage.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45165
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Dwight
No, Kevin, come on.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45166
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Kevin
My back is sore, Dwight. Massage it.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45167
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Dwight
Kevin, not now.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45168
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Kevin
Hey, Jo!
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45169
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Dwight
Okay, okay. Shh!
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45170
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Kevin
No, under the jacket.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45171
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Dwight
You're kidding me. Oh God, what am I touching? It's moist.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45172
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Kevin
I don't feel anything.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45173
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Dwight
Oh, it's so wet.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45174
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Kevin
Push harder, Dwight.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45175
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Dwight
I can't. I can't push harder!
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45176
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Kevin
Go a little higher. There you go. Nope, higher. Higher.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45177
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Dwight
Okay, how's that?
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45178
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Kevin
Knead it. Knead it like a pizza.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45179
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Dwight
I'm kneading it!
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45180
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Kevin
Don't eat it.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45181
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Jo Bennett
Dwight! Walk me out. Let's talk soon. And stay on top of these people. You gotta admit it - it's nice to have a little power, eh? How's it feel?
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45182
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Dwight
Jo... I accidentally fired a gun in the office today.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45183
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Jo Bennett
What?!
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45184
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Dwight
I am telling you this because I care too much about this job to be blackmailed into doing it poorly. All I've ever wanted was to be manager here. And if you feel that you cannot promote me over this one accident, I understand. But if you think that extortion is worse -
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45185
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Jo Bennett
Shooting is worse! Are you kidding me? It's not even in the same - you shot a gun? What is wrong with you?
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45186
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Dwight
It was a Beaumont-Adams, if that helps.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45187
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Jo Bennett
Beaumont-Adams is a girl's gun. That just makes it plain stupid.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45188
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Dwight
I take full responsibility.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45189
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Jo Bennett
Who else would be responsible?
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45190
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Dwight
Pam made me put a banana in my holster.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45191
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Pam
You shot a gun off -
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45192
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Dwight
Okay. Did I make a mistake? Yes. Do I regret the decision that I made? Yes.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45193
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Jo Bennett
Oh, stop asking yourself easy questions so you can look like a genius.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45194
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Dwight
Got it.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45195
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Jo Bennett
I love you, Dwight. But you don't fit this job.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45196
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Dwight
Jo, please... I will -
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45197
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Jo Bennett
No, child. No. It's over. Now I gotta find a replacement for my replacement.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45198
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Jo Bennett
You three are my search committee. You're in charge of finding me my next manager. All righty?
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45199
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Gabe
Yep.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45200
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Jim
Yep.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45201
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Jo Bennett
Till then, we need a new acting manager. Now, who's got the most experience in this office?
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45202
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Toby
Uh, well, we probably don't want to go just on seniority.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45203
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Jo Bennett
Who is it?
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45204
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Jim
Hey, Dwight. What's up?
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45205
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Dwight
Shut up.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45206
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Jim
Well, you do know that Jo was right to take the job away from you, right? There's no debating that. But, I will say... in your one week, every single one of the orders went out on time. And I think that is shagadelic, baby.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45207
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Angela
Four, one, seven, one...
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45208
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Kevin
Another one?
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45209
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Darryl and Angela
Yes!
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45210
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Angela
Seven, two...
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45211
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Oscar
Could you turn the volume down on the beeping?
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45212
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Angela
Six, nine, shut up, Oscar. Eight...
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45213
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Darryl
Nine first.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45214
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Angela
Nine, eight, five...
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45215
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Kevin
Thank you.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45216
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Angela
Three, zero, zero. Again, zero. Four, six...
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45217
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Kevin
Nice.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45218
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Angela
Two, one...
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45219
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Kevin
Oh, I hit three. I hit three.
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45220
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Angela
God!
Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45221