Every line from The Office season 7, episode 22, in script order. First aired May 5, 2011.
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Jim
So this is my life. Until I win the lottery. Or Pam finally writes that series of young adult books.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44900
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Pam
So one afternoon, while walking home from school, quirky 10th grader Becky Walters finds a wounded Pegasus in the woods. And she becomes...The Horse Flyer.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44901
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Ryan
Hey! Kelly, that's the last time I'm gonna talk to you about your paycheck! Okay? We pay you a fair salary here, and if you're only here for the money, maybe you shouldn't be here at all.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44902
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Deangelo Vickers
No one likes a money grubber.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44903
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Kelly
I'm sorry, Mr. Howard, I apologize for grubbing for money. I can't do this. I can't do this. I'm sorry. I just can't do it. Deangelo, Ryan is not my boss. Okay? Frankly, he hasn't had a real job here in years.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44904
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Deangelo Vickers
Ohh.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44905
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Ryan
Oh, that's hilarious, Kelly.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44906
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Kelly
No, he's just a big fraud, Deangelo. He's like Rango. He doesn't work here, basically. Just like the way Rango didn't save those animals. It was just a big misunderstanding.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44907
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Deangelo Vickers
Is this true, Ryan?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44908
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Ryan
I did not see Rango.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44909
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Deangelo Vickers
Okay, I don't have time for this he said-she said.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44910
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Kelly
He's not saying anything!
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44911
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Deangelo Vickers
It's too murky. I like Ryan. You seem kind of hysterical to me. Ryan's your supervisor. Let's just leave it that way.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44912
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Kelly
That's not fair, I mean, I've been working here for such a long ti--
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44913
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Ryan
Oh, close call! Okay, why don't you just finish this up and leave it on my desk and I will see you at your place around 2 am.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44914
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Pam
Hey! It sounds like you guys are having a lot of fun, but it's really loud, and some of us are trying to work, so do you think you could do it a little more quietly?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44915
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Gabe
Well, that's gonna be tough, because we're getting a dunking clinic from Magic Jordan himself.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44916
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Deangelo Vickers
Oh, you mean Michael Jordan?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44917
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Gabe
Total brain burp.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44918
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Deangelo Vickers
I'm no MJ. I can do his dunk. From the free throw line.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44919
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Kevin
Whoa.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44920
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Darryl
Daaamn! Mad respect for my brotha!
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44921
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Darryl
The man is paying me to take Chinese. I will say what I need to say, and soon, I will say it in Chinese.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44922
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Pam
Okay, well it's just really loud.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44923
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Deangelo Vickers
Okay. We'll keep that in mind. Alright, ladies, back to the game.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44924
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Darryl
Do it!
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44925
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Deangelo Vickers
Jim! Come on in.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44926
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Pam
You're back in.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44927
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Jim
You know what? Instead of a game, why don't we do an exhibition? I'd love to see that dunk of yours.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44928
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Deangelo Vickers
Yeah, we'll set that up one day.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44929
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Jim
Today. Now, maybe. 'Cause we have a hoop downstairs and a real ball, so you don't have to mime it.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44930
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Deangelo Vickers
Yeah, I don't know.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44931
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Jim
Why not?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44932
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Deangelo Vickers
Only because no one has called NASA to request a liftoff. Let's go downstairs! Okay? Let's do it.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44933
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Dwight
Pass. If I wanted to see a pissing contest, I'd lock Mose in the chicken coop.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44934
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Deangelo Vickers
Damn it, Dwight! Enough! Get your ass downstairs or find a new place to sell paper!
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44935
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Dwight
Okay, a little about me. I respond to strong leadership.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44936
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Jim
Alright, there you go.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44937
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Deangelo Vickers
Seems a little close, you sure that's the real foul line?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44938
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Jim
15 feet from the baseline, so, you need me to move it in?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44939
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Deangelo Vickers
Nah, that's 15. Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44940
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Jim
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44941
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Deangelo Vickers
And uh, you know what, to make it interesting, Jordan, why don't you sit underneath the basket?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44942
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Jordan
Seriously?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44943
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Deangelo Vickers
Yeah, come on. I'll dunk over you. Best seat in the house.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44944
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Jordan
I don't, I don't think I can do that. I'm holding your jewelry.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44945
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Deangelo Vickers
Right. Yeah. Okay, fair enough. Kevin, you do it.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44946
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Kevin
Yes! Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44947
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Deangelo Vickers
Someone want to sit in Kevin's lap? Angela?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44948
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Angela
No.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44949
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Deangelo Vickers
Oscar?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44950
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Oscar
No thank you.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44951
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Deangelo Vickers
Okay, Jimmy, this is for you. Show you that anything is possible.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44952
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Jim
Fantastic.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44953
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Deangelo Vickers
Alright?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44954
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Jim
Yup.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44955
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Deangelo Vickers
This is also for the troops. Doctor is in! Ahhhh!
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44956
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Jim
Now what?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44957
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Erin
Deangelo?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44958
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Deangelo Vickers
Tablab.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44959
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Jim
Oh my God, are you alright? Erin, will you call 911 please?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44960
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Erin
Who should I say is calling?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44961
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Jim
Erin.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44962
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Deangelo Vickers
says to bartender Droswip. Droswip.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44963
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Gabe
Droswip, yeah. I get it. Okay, we're gonna get you to the restroom.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44964