Every line from The Office season 7, episode 22, in script order. First aired May 5, 2011.
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Deangelo Vickers
Sorry gang. Thought my juggling stuff was in the trunk of my car. It's not.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44800
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Pam
Oh no, do you think it was stolen?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44801
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Andy
I gotcha covered, boss. Used to play with the parabolas myself. Got some extra balls! Hey-hey-hey-ho!
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44802
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Deangelo Vickers
Sorry, I never touch another juggler's instruments. You know, we're all here, I've got the music cued, why don't I just do my routine without the juggling balls? Prepare... to go into the danger zone.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44803
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Pam
Oh wow, you weren't kidding.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44804
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Deangelo Vickers
No. Never. Can someone please throw me a fifth ball? If you dare! Incoming! And we're on! Remember, nothing's impossible! Phyllis, where's Phyllis?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44805
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Phyllis
Here.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44806
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Deangelo Vickers
Do you believe in me, Phyllis?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44807
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Phyllis
Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44808
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Deangelo Vickers
Because I believe in you.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44809
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Phyllis
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44810
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Deangelo Vickers
Feel that connection? Don't move your head. Please. Thank you. Oh! Big hand for Phyllis! That took a lot of guts! Ho! I'm Deangelo Vickers, thank you so much, hope you learned something.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44811
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Kevin
Didn't drop a single ball!
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44812
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Pam
Look. I'm juggling eggs and bowling balls. I'm juggling with one hand. No hands.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44813
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Jim
What could he possibly stand to gain from a fake juggling routine?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44814
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Pam
What could he possibly stand to gain from a real juggling routine? How can you keep defending him?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44815
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Jim
He's good at his job. And I like working for him.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44816
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Angela
Of course you do, Jim. You're a man. Deangelo is a huge sexist.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44817
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Andy
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I think if he was sexist, I'd be able to tell. I took a crapload of women's studies courses at Cornell. And I wrote my own companion piece to the 'Vagina Monologues' called the 'Penis Apologies.' So I know a thing or two.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44818
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Angela
Okay. Then how about I'm the head of the Accounting Department, but he only ever talks to Kevin? What about Pam and Kelly? Also department heads. But has he ever met with you or even asked you to do anything?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44819
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Andy
How could I not see it? You're so right.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44820
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Pam
Why don't you talk to him about it?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44821
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Jim
And say what? 'Hey Deangelo, are you shy or just a sexist?'
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44822
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Pam
Why don't you just tell him how his actions are being perceived by the women in this office?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44823
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Jim
Mmm-hmm.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44824
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Andy
And if he doesn't listen, then he can kiss his penis goodbye. Snip snip. Am I right, girls?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44825
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Jim
Hey, you got a second?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44826
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Deangelo Vickers
Yeah, I got tons of time. This job's a joke.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44827
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Deangelo Vickers
So what's up?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44828
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Jim
Umm, really, it's nothing, I was just talking to Angela, and she was --
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44829
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Darryl
Hey, saw Jim come in. We meeting?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44830
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Deangelo Vickers
Yeah sure. Let's make it a meeting.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44831
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Jim
If it's alright, can I just have like one minute alone, just to go over --
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44832
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Deangelo Vickers
What's the big secret? Why are you even whispering? Come on, it's the guys!
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44833
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Jim
I know. Just the guys. Well, maybe that's, uh, part of the problem. I think...so what happened was, I was talking with some of the department heads. Uh, some of the female department heads.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44834
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Deangelo Vickers
Uh-oh. Right?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44835
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Kevin
Hot!
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44836
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Jim
Maybe there's a vibe out there, with certain members of the office, that you are...a little sexist, or --
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44837
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Darryl
Damn!
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44838
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Jim
Whoa. Whoa. Wait.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44839
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Deangelo Vickers
Are you serious? Who feels this way?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44840
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Jim
Oh. Like nobody.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44841
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Gabe
Umm, Pam?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44842
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Jim
It was --
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44843
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Gabe
Was it Pam?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44844
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Kevin
That sounds like Pam. You know how she gets. Deangelo, she can get really bitchy. Kevin...
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44845
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Deangelo Vickers
Guys. Hold on. Doesn't matter who, okay? I'm just happy that Jim brought it to my attention because honestly, I had - I had no idea.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44846
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Jim
That's awesome.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44847
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Deangelo Vickers
Thank you.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44848
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Kelly
Mom, Ryan's taking us out to dinner tonight. No, no, he's not going to stand us up like he did last time. He won't ever stand us up again.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44849
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Ryan
So I am the new customer service supervisor.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44850
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Kelly
When Deangelo's around.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44851
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Ryan
And I am also a very dutiful boyfriend when --
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44852
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Kelly
All the time.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44853
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Ryan
All the time.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44854
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Deangelo Vickers
Erin, do you mind running down to the lobby and bringing up my brand new executive assistant?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44855
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Erin
Absolutely.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44856
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Jim
Hey, who'd you end up hiring?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44857
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Deangelo Vickers
Oh, I'm glad you asked, Jim. Because apparently there's a rumor running around here that I am a sexist. I can't work here effectively if you guys think I'm something that I am not. I am not a sexist. Raise your hand if you have a vagina. Raise your hand if someone you love has a vagina. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Just about everyone. What about Deangelo's hand? Oh wow. He's got 'em both up. Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah, so it bothers me when I hear that there's gossip around here that I treat women lesser than men. Okay? Frankly, we all look a little ridiculous when that happens.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44858
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Phyllis
I'm not a feminist, but I think that the men in this office are being given chances that the women aren't.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44859
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Deangelo Vickers
Dwight, what's your take?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44860
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Dwight
What's the argument here? NBA, WNBA. One is a sport, one is a joke. I love sports, I love jokes. Room for all.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44861
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Deangelo Vickers
Man, you're smart. Oh, hey! Hi! Hello. Welcome. Uh, everyone, I'd like you to please welcome Jordan Garfield. This is everyone.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44862
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Jordan
Hello.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44863
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Pam
So, Jordan, uh, where did you work before? Uh, a law office?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44864
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Jordan
No, Anthropology. We don't have this in that size, pretty lame.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44865
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Kelly
Lame? You worked at Anthropology?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44866
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Jordan
Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44867
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Kelly
That's like my dream job. How did you even get that job?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44868
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Jordan
Well, I umm -
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44869
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Kelly
You chose this job over that job?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44870
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Ryan
Okay, okay, back to work, Kelly, we have a lot to get done today.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44871
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Pam
So, umm, is this your first office job then?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44872
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Jordan
Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44873
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Deangelo Vickers
Yup.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44874
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Pam
Wow.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44875
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Deangelo Vickers
No corporate experience whatsoever. I didn't want anyone with any bad habits.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44876
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Kevin
Jim, you coming?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44877
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Jim
Oh yeah, did he text us?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44878
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Kevin
Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44879
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Dwight
No!
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44880
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Pam
Jim, what are you doing? Get in there. This is not the time to take a stand. At least he likes one of us.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44881
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Jim
He didn't text me.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44882
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Andy
Yes! I'm in.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44883
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Angela
Andy, what are you doing?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44884
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Andy
I'm going in, into the belly of the beast. Gonna infiltrate and change from within. What's up, mancave!
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44885
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Pam
Just go in. Just go in, he probably forgot to text you.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44886
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Deangelo Vickers
Internally, for office use where do we get our paper from? Do we go -
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44887
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Jim
Don't worry, the first day's always the hardest.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44888
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Deangelo Vickers
Hey Jim.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44889
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44890
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Deangelo Vickers
Can I help you?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44891
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Jim
Nope. Just... Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44892
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Dwight
So, he kicked you out of the inner circle, huh?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44893
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Jim
Well, there is no inner...circle.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44894
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Jordan
Dwight? Deangelo wanted me to ask you if there's anything I can help you with.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44895
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Dwight
Really? Anything.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44896
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Jordan
Do you need anything?
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44897
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Dwight
Deangelo, tell your whore to leave me alone.
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44898
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Andy
Okay, I do not want to waste your time, so I will keep this br-r-r-r-r-r-ief. Now, word on the street is, Mercy Hospital, back on the market. Deangelo would like you to put together a sales pitch for next week. Deangelo has also recently learned about the Barnacle Project. Which is a non-profit organization based in Mystic, Connecticut that assists in the scraping of barnacles --
Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44899