Every line from The Office season 7, episode 20, in script order. First aired April 21, 2011.
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Michael
It is six a.m. and we are about to go house to house to give everyone their Dundie Nomination Certificates. Just like the Oscars!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44109
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Deangelo Vickers
Yes, and this happens every...?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44110
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Michael
Every year! This happens, you have a lot to learn my friend.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44111
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Deangelo Vickers
Well, you know, why don't we try it, and if it goes good it'll be part of my tradition.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44112
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Michael
Why do you always say that? You're gonna love it.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44113
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Michael
Alright let's go! This way, this way!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44114
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Deangelo Vickers
Thanks.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44115
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Michael
Surprise!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44116
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Deangelo Vickers
Congratulations!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44117
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Jim
Yep, okay...
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44118
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Michael
You and Pam have both been nominated for Dundie Awards!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44119
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Jim
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44120
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Michael
Here we go! Have Pam come down.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44121
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Jim
No she doesn't wa- She's not here.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44122
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Pam
What's going on?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44123
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Jim
Stay in bed!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44124
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Michael
Congratulations!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44125
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Stanley
Have you lost your mind! Get off my property before I call the police!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44126
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Michael
We got it.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44127
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Deangelo Vickers
Uh, leave it at the door or...?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44128
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Michael
Yeah that's fine.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44129
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Michael
Hey Toby! You suck!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44130
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Deangelo Vickers
Is this an employee of ours?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44131
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Michael
Go go go go go go!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44132
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Michael
I've never seen this place in the daylight.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44133
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Deangelo Vickers
It reminds me of Katrina.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44134
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Michael
Here we go, alright got it? Set? Hello?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44135
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Meredith
I'm so busted! Walk of shame!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44136
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Deangelo Vickers
Do you usually leave your door unlocked? And ajar?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44137
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Meredith
Ahh, Nice! I got a Dundie nomination!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44138
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Michael
Yes you did. That's right! Congratulations Meredith. We should head out.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44139
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Meredith
No no no! You guys stay! No no no! I have Vienna Sausages and I have napkins. Let me fix you breakfast!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44140
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Deangelo Vickers
I'm not going in there.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44141
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Michael
Go.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44142
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Michael
Good morning Erin.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44143
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Erin
Oh hey, didn't see you.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44144
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Michael
You have big plans for tonight?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44145
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Erin
I don't know, maybe volunteer at the shelter, or go to bed, or... I don't know. Maybe I'm going to the Dundies!!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44146
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Michael
You are getting so funny! Very good.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44147
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Michael
The Dundies are my baby, and they need to go on. When Larry King died they didn't just cancel his show. They got Pierce Morgan to come in, and do his show, and, that way, Larry lives on.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44148
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Michael
Anything can happen at the Dundies! They're like the Golden Globes but less mean. And I just want all of us to have a good time!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44149
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Dwight
Just a little announcement folks, remember, the Dundies is a black tie affair.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44150
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Michael
Black tie optional.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44151
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Dwight
Every day is black tie optional!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44152
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Michael
A la, tonight we will be hosting at Louie Volpies!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44153
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Kevin
Nice!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44154
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Phyllis
I love their breadsticks!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44155
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Pam
Oh, their breadsticks are like crack!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44156
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Ryan
I love when people say like crack when they've obviously never done crack.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44157
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Pam
Well the breadsticks are like what then, Ryan, what can I use?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44158
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Ryan
I don't know, something from your world. The breadsticks are like scrapbooking.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44159
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Pam
You're right, you're right. I'm a middle class broad.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44160
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Michael
Shh, shh! Okay, okay. Everybody's right. They're like breadsticks on steroids. Right?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44161
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Ryan
Yeah that's great.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44162
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Michael
So as you know, the Dundies are my legacy. So I'm going to need to train a replacement. So this year, I have decided to have a co-host. And that person is Deangelo!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44163
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Dwight
Always the padawan, never the Jedi.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44164
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Deangelo Vickers
Thank you Michael, uh, but I will have to pass.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44165
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Michael
Think of it as part of your training.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44166
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Deangelo Vickers
Not much of a performer, unless you count singing in the shower. Boy, okay...
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44167
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Michael
Okay, well we'll work on it.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44168
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Deangelo Vickers
Michael, I'm very, very bad.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44169
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Michael
You are doing it.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44170
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Michael
Guys! I want you to help us work on some banter.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44171
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Kevin
Yes! I love banter. But I hate witty banter.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44172
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Michael
Here we go! So, Deangelo! You and I have a lot in common. You lost two hundred pounds, and I lose my car keys every morning.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44173
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Deangelo Vickers
That is true, we do share some similarities. I know how you can fix one of those problems, for me it was portion control. For you, you need a key chain. Maybe one with a-
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44174
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Michael
Okay, okay. You know what, I didn't actually lose my keys...
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44175
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Deangelo Vickers
This did not happen.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44176
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Michael
Mmmmkay. There needs to be what you call a rat-a-tat. And right now it's all rat and no tat. Ryan come on up here. Tap Deangelo out. Just watch this. Okay. Ryan how are you today?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44177
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Ryan
Why don't you ask my therapist, my mom certainly pays her enough.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44178
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Michael
There you go! Lovely! Regis and Kelly! Nice! Use that as an inspiration. Just be funny.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44179
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Deangelo Vickers
Uhhh, you sir! Are we having fun tonight?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44180
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Jim
Having a great time.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44181
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Deangelo Vickers
Oh good!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44182
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Jim
Thanks, yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44183
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Deangelo Vickers
Where were you on September 11th?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44184
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Michael
No! God!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44185
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Deangelo Vickers
This is so weird! If I'm conducting a meeting, good to go. But if I think of it as a performance... I-I fall apart. Obviously.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44186
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Andy
Why don't you think of hosting the Dundies like you're just running a meeting.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44187
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Michael
No, no, no! This is the performance of your life!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44188
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Jim
Why don't you just, privately, in your own head, think of it like a meeting.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44189
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Michael
Jim, please no loopholes.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44190
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Darryl
Mike, why do you have to control how he perceives it in his mind?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44191
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Michael
This is my last Dundies ever, if I want mind control over him, is that too much to ask?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44192
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Deangelo Vickers
Me mo. Me mo.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44193
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Michael
Good. Good. Good!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44194
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Deangelo Vickers
Meee Mo, Mee!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44195
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Michael
Now, tell me something terrible that happened in your childhood.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44196
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Deangelo Vickers
When I was very young, my mother divorced my father and I had to go to court and choose between them.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44197
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Michael
Too personal. I don't wanna hear about it. Let's try this. Put these on. I am going to turn this on, and turn the volume all the way up. So you can't- That's right, you're not going to be able to hear yourself. Read this, and make it sound perfect.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44198
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Deangelo Vickers
THE DUNDIES ARE-OW-ABOUT COMING TOGETHER! AND RECOGNIZING, THE ADOMINABILITY OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44199
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Michael
Say it with an accent!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44200
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Deangelo Vickers
THE DUNDIES!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44201
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Michael
The Dundies!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44202
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Deangelo Vickers
THE DUNDIES!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44203
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Jim
I just don't understand the desire to push sweet potato fries on me, and not just regular fries.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44204
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Pam
Yeah... Hey, Erin, everything okay?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44205
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Erin
Get away from the car, he's gonna see you.
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44206
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Jim
Who's gonna see us?
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44207
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Erin
Just get in! Get in! Just get in!
Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44208