Dwight

Wow. Late every day this week.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38654

Pam

We signed Cici up for this daycare. It's on the other side of town. The traffic...

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38655

Dwight

Why didn't I think of this before? Did you know that there is a daycare center opening right here in this building?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38656

Jim

Is there really?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38657

Dwight

Now that I own the building, I'm looking for new sources of revenue. And a daycare center... Ha ha ha Well I guess it's not an evil idea. It's just a regular idea. But there is no good laugh for a regular idea.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38658

Dwight

Welcome to the Sesame Avenue Daycare Center for infants and toddlers.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38659

Jim

Aaah!

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38660

Mose

Aaah!

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38661

Dwight

You remember my cousin Mose.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38662

Mose

Welcome children.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38663

Pam

Were you painting in the dark?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38664

Jim

Wait. Is this your place Dwight?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38665

Dwight

Oh no. I like to think of it as a kids place. Would you like a tour?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38666

Pam

I don't really think we need...

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38667

Jim

Oh... lets take the tour Pam.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38668

Pam

Yeah.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38669

Dwight

Come on. Here is the language skills and cognitive development area. These are English... uh... letters. I see you found out magical toy box Jim.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38670

Jim

These are actually forks and knives from the break room.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38671

Dwight

Jim! To you and me, maybe, but, come on! To a child's imagination that's Mr. Fork and Lieutenant Knife and... Ms. Fork.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38672

Pam

And a soy sauce packet.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38673

Dwight

Oh! That shouldn't have been in there. I'm embarrassed.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38674

Jim

Don't beat yourself up.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38675

Dwight

We come fully equipped with a restroom. Feeding trough, play bucket, and room for a plant, in success.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38676

Jim

Who will be watching the children?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38677

Dwight

No one. The door locks from the outside. Escape is impossible.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38678

Jim

Prove it.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38679

Dwight

What?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38680

Jim

Were going to head outside, give it a whirl. I just want to see how it works.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38681

Dwight

Oh no, no, no.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38682

Jim

But I'll tell you this, if this works out, I think we're looking real good.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38683

Dwight

I promise you, that door locks!

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38684

Toby

What's something that you...

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38685

Michael

This is the worst! You are the worst! I hate looking at your face! I wanna smash it!

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38686

Michael

Ok, you know what? I made a mistake. I committed corporate punishment. My bad. It's over. It's done. But my punishment is ... um ... worse than hell.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38687

Toby

Michael has been assigned six hours of mandatory counseling with a trained professional. I actually have a degree in social work. I mean, I know a lot of people would ask a few standard questions, and check off a few boxes, but I've got a chance to do some good here.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38688

Michael

I know what you want to ask me. 'Did your mom ever see you naked?'

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38689

Toby

We can do this with more privacy.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38690

Michael

So you can molest me? Oh, ok. I don't think so. We're going to leave the blinds open so every one can see what a big failure you are. That's the key.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38691

Dwight

Boycott the Steamtown Mall! Everyone, you heard me! Cancel all of your business with the Steamtown Mall!

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38692

Phyllis

The mall itself or just the stores in the mall?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38693

Dwight

All of it! The mall, the stores, the kiosks!

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38694

Ryan

America is one big mall.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38695

Jim

Did something happen Dwight?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38696

Dwight

Yeah, something happened. Oh yeah, something happened, Jim.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38697

Andy

Well, tell us what it is. I mean, it would help us to get some context so we can get on board.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38698

Dwight

You don't want to know.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38699

Toby

I'd like you to imagine a place where you feel very peaceful. For me, it's the walk from the yogurt shop to my car after I drop my daughter off on Sunday afternoons.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38700

Phyllis

I'm glad Michael is getting help. He as a lot of issues, and he's stupid.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38701

Pam

Look, I'm not going to tell you that we have lower prices. Is price something that is important to you? Ok, well let me know if anything changes.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38702

Jim

Pam?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38703

Pam

I can't do this. I don't have this sales gene, or whatever it is. Tell me everything is going to be ok.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38704

Jim

Everything is going to be ok.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38705

Pam

Tell me I'm good at sales.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38706

Jim

You're good... you're good at sales.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38707

Pam

The unfair thing about working in sales is that your salary is almost all commission. So, you suck at sales, you make almost no money. I guess that's fair.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38708

Andy

Dwight?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38709

Dwight

What?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38710

Andy

Did you call all of my clients at the mall and cancel all my business while using the 'F' word?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38711

Dwight

Yes I did. And I'm going to do the same with all of your clients.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38712

Stanley

No you will not.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38713

Dwight

Oh yes I will! That mall is corrupt, ok! They're 'appearance'ists!

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38714

Jim

Ok, Dwight. We can't do that. So why don't you just tell us what happened?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38715

Pam

Yeah, what happened Dwight?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38716

Jim

Ok.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38717

Dwight

You guys know me. You know that I'm not one for fancy things, but there was this one thing. It was in a fancy store. And it caught the corner of my eye when I took Mose down to the Mall to get his blood pressure at the Rite-Aid. And I thought, you know, maybe I deserve this. You know, I had a great crop yield this fall...

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38718

Pam

So what happened?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38719

Dwight

I went to the store and I pressed the buzzer, and they looked right at me, and then they looked away. And then I pressed the buzzer again, and they started taking pictures of me on their mobile phones. I guess I'm not the kind of guy that's good enough for precious heirlooms.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38720

Kelly

You know what Dwight? You need to go back there, and you need to 'Pretty Woman' their asses.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38721

Creed

We should start our own mall!

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38722

Erin

Yeah!

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38723

Jim

Wait, wait, wait. That's actually a really good idea Kelly.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38724

Kelly

What did I say?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38725

Kelly

I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38726

Jim

Dwight, how about this? Instead of boycotting, you and I, together, go down to that store and we teach those snobs a lesson.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38727

Andy

No, you and I... and I. I'm going to come with you.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38728

Dwight

Ok

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38729

Jim

Alright.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38730

Andy

Did you assume that I would automatically side with the rich snobby shop owner? How about now? How about now? How about now?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38731

Toby

Uh... what was your favorite flavor of...

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38732

Michael

One hour.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38733

Toby

What?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38734

Michael

One hour. We've done one hour. Let's just speed this up, ok? Keep it moving. I want to do all six hours today.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38735

Toby

Ok, I can't count the hour if you don't talk.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38736

Michael

No, no, no! I know my rights! All I had to do was sit here for six hours. Do my time.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38737

Toby

Michael, it's up to me to check off the boxes, and I can't do that unless I honestly...

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38738

Michael

You know, do you have any idea how angry this is making me?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38739

Toby

Tell me!

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38740

Toby

I think we might be about to maybe really get somewhere.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38741

Michael

Yes, I will. I will talk alright. Be careful what you wish for Toby.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38742

Dwight

Apparently there is a famous Hollywood movie from the 1980's, Beautiful Girl...

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38743

Andy

Pretty Woman.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38744

Dwight

Apparently, it's one of the best revenge stories of all times, in which this sex worker, who is the antagonist... That can't be right. Andy? How does it...?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38745

Jim

No, no. I want to hear you tell it.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38746

Dwight

Ok, Um... The sex worker is denied service at a fancy store because she does not look wealthy. She later returns dressed in all the 'trappings' of extravagant wealth, but instead of going...

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38747

Andy

Julia Roberts goes into the store, and she's like,' I was in here yesterday and you wouldn't help me.' And the shop girl goes, 'ok'. And Julia Roberts goes,' You girls work on commission, right?' And the girl is like,'Yeah', and Julia Roberts goes...

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38748

Kelly

Big mistake! Huge!'

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38749

Andy

I was telling that... I was telling that.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38750

Stanley

How many paper supplies and ink cartridges to go with that? Ok, sure.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38751

Window treatment guy

Who can I speak to in this office about saving on window treatments?

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38752

Erin

I don't know.

Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38753

"Counseling" Quotes