Every line from The Office season 7, episode 19, in script order. First aired April 14, 2011.
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Michael
Now I'm gonna have to go online and look at turtles or I'll be off all day.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43965
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Dwight
I want to be manager. I just don't understand why I wasn't even interviewed for the job. What's wrong? I was totally qualified, you were pushing for me.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43966
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Meredith
That apple looks delic!
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43967
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Deangelo Vickers
I do a lot of portion control. I try to keep my daily calor intake under 1200.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43968
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Stanley
Deangelo, you're going to starve to death.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43969
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Michael
So you decided to have an orgy and not invite me? I call the middle!
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43970
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Darryl
It's cool that you like the southwest. It's one of my favorite regions.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43971
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Darryl
It's one of my favorite regions? Did I just sound totally lame? No, I sounded good.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43972
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Darryl
I love the desert. It's one of my favorite ecosystems.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43973
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Deangelo Vickers
Here's the great thing about the southwest; there's so much more than desert. Along the north rim of the Grand Canyon is a forest as lush as you've ever seen.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43974
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Kevin
Burnt! It's lush, dummie. Hey, Deangelo, what do you think of bald people? I hate them.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43975
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Angela
Deangelo, I forget, did you mention you like politics?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43976
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Deangelo Vickers
I did not.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43977
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Angela
Cause I was thinking that you should meet my boyfriend, he's a state senator. I really think the two of you would hit it off. He's a great person to know.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43978
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Deangelo Vickers
Sounds very interesting, thank you.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43979
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Erin
Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin. Ok, let me transfer you.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43980
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Deangelo Vickers
Why do you use your name when you use the phone?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43981
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Erin
Oh, that's how Pam does it. I just copy her. She's sort of a living legend.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43982
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Deangelo Vickers
Try it without using your name.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43983
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Erin
Dunder Mifflin, this is... oh, I like it!
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43984
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Deangelo Vickers
Dunder Mifflin, how may I assist you?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43985
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Erin
Oh, assist.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43986
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Michael
I sorta like the old way.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43987
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Deangelo Vickers
I just prefer it without the name and I thought- I've got to start doing some managing at some point.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43988
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Michael
I know, I know, I'm sorry, but if it's not a big deal we should just-
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43989
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Deangelo Vickers
And it really isn't.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43990
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Michael
Is that good?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43991
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Erin
Yeah, ok, good.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43992
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Deangelo Vickers
Well, I'd like to change it, actually.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43993
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Michael
Well, whatever. Whatever you think will work.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43994
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Erin
What do you think?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43995
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Deangelo Vickers
I think a change would be nice.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43996
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Michael
You can do the old way or whatever you think would work.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43997
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Denagelo
Change it.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43998
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Erin
...I'm so sorry. Sorry.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43999
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Deangelo Vickers
Hey, funny guy. Wanna have a little mid-day lawl here. Make me laugh, huh? What you got? I can't even look at you.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44000
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Andy
Here we go... ok... what do African Americans call...
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44001
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Erin
Deangelo, did you order a barber?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44002
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Deangelo Vickers
Oh, yeah. Put a pin on that, kid. Can't wait to hear the punchline.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44003
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Darryl
Finish the joke, Andy. What do African Americans call?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44004
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Andy
I... don't know. Help me.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44005
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Ryan
That is so badass. So hardcore.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44006
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Phyllis
Yeah, real cool. Real power move.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44007
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Deangelo Vickers
I saw a hawk today. Just sitting right there on the overpass. Looking at me.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44008
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Michael
Shave me. This is going to be funny! Looks like we are going to be shaving buddies!
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44009
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Deangelo Vickers
Ok, alright! I love it! I love it! Michael, this is Reggie. He is the #1 yelp reviewed shaver in Scranton. It's not even close.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44010
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Michael
And this is Erin and she is going to shave my face. Here we go.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44011
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Deangelo Vickers
Alright. This is how we do it. Feels nice, doesn't it?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44012
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Michael
It really does. This is luxery. Here we go. Ah, that is nice.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44013
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Oscar
You wanted to talk to us Deangelo?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44014
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Deangelo Vickers
Ah, yes, please! Just cozy up there. Just thought we could have some rap sessions with smaller groups.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44015
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Michael
Well, we don't really do rap sessions. We kinda do... god... we sorta do more of like powwows or-
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44016
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Deangelo Vickers
Ok, then, powwows then, fine.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44017
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Michael
That's-
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44018
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Pam
Hey, Deangelo, my mom just sent me this picture of Cece, it is so adorable.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44019
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Jim
Alright, wait, little bit of backstory, she loves dogs. She calls them 'da-das'.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44020
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Pam
Da-das.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44021
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Jim
And what happens here is-
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44022
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Deangelo Vickers
You know what, enough about your baby, ok? I'm sorry.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44023
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Jim
We were... I think she was just trying to-
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44024
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Deangelo Vickers
No, no, no, I know what you're doing. Just quit it. I want to hear from the rank and file. How can I be the best manager for you all? What can I do better?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44025
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Michael
You know what, everybody? You have to be honest, here. You can't say that everything is perfect. So, you know, come up with something.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44026
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Oscar
Well, Deangelo, I'd say communication could be improved. People stopped reading memos, so everyone marks them urgent.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44027
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Michael
Ok, you know what, I mark it urgent A, urgent B, urgent C, urgent D. Urgent A is the most important, urgent D you don't even really have to worry about.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44028
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Erin
Michael, can you stop talking now? I need to shave your lips.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44029
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Michael
Don't shave my lips.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44030
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Deangelo Vickers
What's up?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44031
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Andy
I don't mean to go into a rant here, but...
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44032
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Andy
I wrote the perfect joke. Topical, edgy, funny.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44033
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Andy
...I saw this thing on the news. Democrats want electric cars. Republicans don't. I'm thinking, 'how crazy is it that we have a car debate going on in a city known for gridlock.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44034
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Deangelo Vickers
Let's not talk politics in the office, ok? I like you better as a funny guy.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44035
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Andy
I wasn't taking a position. It's just one of those things where-
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44036
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Deangelo Vickers
Now that's funny! That's funny! You walk much?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44037
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Andy
Yeah, right, I mean-
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44038
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Deangelo Vickers
Little click...
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44039
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Erin
Deangelo, this box came for you.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44040
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Deangelo Vickers
Thank you. That's my stuff. Yeah. Michael, take a look at this.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44041
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Stanley
Need a hand?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44042
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Deangelo Vickers
Oh, that'd be great, thank you Stanley!
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44043
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Michael
You know, this office sort of has a perfect Feng Shui to it, so... you know, let's not go overboard with the re-decorating, and I'm still here-
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44044
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Ryan
[holds up painting of desert to office, who are impressed]
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44045
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Michael
I still have to look at this stuff, guys.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44046
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Darryl
So this is a ten-gallon hat, huh?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44047
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Deangelo Vickers
Yep, ten-gallon hat. Technically, it only holds about three quartz. Little factoid.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44048
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Kevin
Interesting.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44049
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Michael
Deangelo's great. I love the guy. But I'm not sure he's a great fit for the office. And also, I'm not sure if I love the guy.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44050
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Darryl's sister
[holds out cowboy boots for Darryl]
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44051
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Darryl
Cool, cool. Alright, see you later.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44052
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Darryl's sister
Hey, hey, hey!
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44053
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Darryl
No, I'm good. Keep them.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44054
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Deangelo Vickers
Hey, funny man! Whatcha got for me? Make me laugh?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44055
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Andy
Let's see if they have my favorite teas in here...
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44056
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Deangelo Vickers
Drink some soap!
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44057
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Andy
[drinks hand soap]
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44058
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Deangelo Vickers
[laughter and applause]
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44059
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Andy
I guess this is my life now.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44060
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Dwight
How do I become a manger at Sabre?
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44061
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Gabe
First thing's first, thank you for coming here directly. I know you could have called Tallahassee but they would've just looped back to me, so, it's cool you recognized my role here.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44062
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Dwight
I left a message at corporate.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44063
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Gabe
Ahh. There you go. Get a recommendation from Michael. That'll put you right on the shortlist for next time there's an opening.
Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 44064