Every line from The Office season 7, episode 18, in script order. First aired March 24, 2011.
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Michael
I'm asking Holly a question in fire.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43675
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Pam
Are you proposing!?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43676
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Michael
Maybe.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43677
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Pam
Wow.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43678
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Michael
Hey you know what? I've got gas all over my hands and my shoes. Would you light it? Would you do the honors please?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43679
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Pam
Yea. Yea no problem.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43680
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Michael
Pam.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43681
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Pam
Yep.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43682
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Michael
Could you light this please?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43683
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Pam
Michael, you've had two ideas today. And one of them was great. And the other one was terrible.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43684
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Michael
I am not in the mood for riddles pam.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43685
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Pam
This is terrible.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43686
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Michael
No, this is romantic.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43687
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Pam
You know what? I'm gonna get a hose. Then we'll talk about it. Ok we'll figure it out. Be right back. Just stay there.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43688
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Ryan
Free sample?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43689
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Ryan
My mom makes the best pesto in the world. And I always tell her 'Mom you should sell this, you'd make a fortune' and she always says 'No it's just for family.' Well finally I was like f*** it, I'll sell it so I'm like 'Mom, I need you to make a ton of pesto for a pesto party for all my friends' and she's like 'uh, ok' ... pesto party? Really? Anyway... she makes like a hundred bottles worth. It's so good. And Phyllis... just had that mom look I wanted.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43690
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Dwight
You got this kosher certified?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43691
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Ryan
No I meant like uh, it's cool, its kosher, it's all good.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43692
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Dwight
Ryan, you have such an interesting mind. So creative. All these new business ideas and artistic projects.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43693
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Ryan
Thank you. Whatcha got there?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43694
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Dwight
Oh, its just Stanley's old photo album. I'm thinking about throwing it in the garbage. I mean, why would I want some random black mans old photo album on my bookshelf. I'm not James Franco.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43695
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Dwight
things are going very well. I traded a thumb tack for Meredith's junk for Kelly's crap for Phyllis' garbage for Oscars trash for Stanley's garbage for Ryan's junk for Creed's garbage for a very cute squid that Erin happened to have.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43696
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Dwight
Jim, put those away.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43697
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Jim
I'm really sorry. Pam must have put those out.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43698
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Dwight
just out of curiosity, what were the claims for those beans?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43699
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Jim
They're legumes Dwight, and you're just gonna make fun of me, so why would I... You know what, this ends now.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43700
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Pam
Hey Michael everyone's in the conference room.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43701
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Michael
Why?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43702
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Pam
You called the meeting I don't..
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43703
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Michael
I did?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43704
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Michael
Ok. Thank you all for coming. I would like to talk to you all today about... recycling.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43705
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Pam
Michael.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43706
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Michael
Yes.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43707
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Pam
We are a family.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43708
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Michael
I could not have agreed with you more.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43709
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Pam
And I've always believed that we should all be involved in everyone's personal lives, in a very major way.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43710
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Michael
Yes. Thank you.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43711
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Pam
So about this proposal thing...
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43712
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Michael
No, no, no, no. My minds made up I am not going to change my mind you can't talk me out of it.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43713
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Pam
Michael, she's perfect for you.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43714
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Oscar
She's the one.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43715
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Jim
She's amazing. This is very exciting.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43716
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Pam
So we just... we wanna help you plan the proposal so that it's safe and responsible and realistic and doable.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43717
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Michael
I had a great idea until you ruined it.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43718
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Oscar
Wanna know how to do it? Here's how you do it. Take her out to dinner. Go down on one knee. If you are in costume, you did something wrong. If at any point you find yourself tying a ring to a dogs collar, stop, and look at yourself.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43719
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Andy
Hmm, I'm gonna play me a little ol' black mail card .
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43720
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Kevin
Nice.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43721
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Andy
And call a proxy meeting to take control of you and oil once and for all.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43722
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Kevin
No you cant do that. You cant play a black mail card and call a proxy meeting in the same turn.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43723
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Andy
Why not. Seems to me we're just making up rules cause somebody forgot to staple the rules to the inside of the game like a normal human being.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43724
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Darryl
And I'm gonna play this here share the wealth card.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43725
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Andy
Oooh.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43726
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Darryl
Which entitles me to half of both of y'alls money so if you don't mind.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43727
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Kevin
no this card is from the wrong game this is from the game of life.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43728
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Darryl
It was in the box.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43729
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Andy
Well played.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43730
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Darryl
Thank you.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43731
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Andy
We must honorably adhere to the rules we are making up on the spot.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43732
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Kevin
No but that's not fair.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43733
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Andy
Well that's Dallas.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43734
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Darryl
Dallas indeed.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43735
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Oscar
What... Ryan, where did you get this picture?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43736
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Ryan
My mom also makes the best salsa.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43737
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Holly
This is your moms old stuff?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43738
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Phyllis
Yeah mostly.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43739
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Holly
How's she doing?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43740
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Phyllis
It didn't go down so easy but she's made some friends and it's already better than it was.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43741
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Holly
How do you know when its time?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43742
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Phyllis
Uh I don't know if you ever know. And if you wait for the day when your parent to comes to you and says 'I cant take care of myself anymore' its never gonna happen. I have a box of bras under the table if you're interested.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43743
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Holly
Let me see.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43744
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Pam
Ok I think animals and proposals are out. Right Ryan didn't you read in one of your blogs that animals are out?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43745
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Ryan
Blogs are out but people are texting each other no more animals
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43746
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Michael
How about this I throw a corpse dressed like me off of the roof, it hits the ground, the head pops off, this leads me to the line ' I lost my head when I fell in love with you.'
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43747
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Jim
That's a guarantee.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43748
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Michael
It's easy enough to get a corpse, you just go to a med school. I already have the ring.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43749
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Jim
Don't think you need the corpse then.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43750
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Michael
Heres the ring.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43751
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Pam
Holy s*** is that real?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43752
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Michael
Yeah. I saved 3 years salary.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43753
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Oscar
No.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43754
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Michael
Is she not going to like that?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43755
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Pam
No she's going to love it so I think you can keep the proposal simple. You know like when Jim proposed. He just he got down on one knee and he told me that he loved me and he asked me to marry him and it was perfect.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43756
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Oscar
Where was that.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43757
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Jim
At a gas station.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43758
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Michael
At a gas station?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43759
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Jim
Oh it was when she was working in New York so it was halfway between both of us.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43760
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Michael
That mush have been a surprise when... at the gas station you proposed.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43761
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Pam
No it was really it was really sweet. It was raining and..
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43762
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Michael
Oh yea you didn't say that the weather was bad that sounds perfect. I want this to be an event that everyone talks about always and forever.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43763
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Jim
Totally reasonable.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43764
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Michael
I just... it's terrifying.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43765
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Pam
She's not gonna say no.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43766
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Michael
I know but I'm still scared I don't know why.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43767
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Jim
Cause it's a big deal. I mean.. I knew Pam was gonna say yes but I was still scared.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43768
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Pam
You were scared?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43769
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Jim
Yeah... it.s scary.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43770
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Michael
Get this... Kevin thought I was gonna sell my Bowflex for 200 dollars and I told him 'Dude this was a prop in my movie.'
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43771
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Holly
Look I need to talk to you.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43772
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Michael
Ok it's because we haven't sold anything. You know what? We just wait until the end of the day, people get desperate, and they're gonna pay anything.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43773
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Holly
I think I need to go home to Colorado. My dad isn't doing so well.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43774