Every line from The Office season 7, episode 18, in script order. First aired March 24, 2011.
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Pam
Hey Oscar, big Will and Grace fan huh?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43575
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Oscar
No. Everybody assumes I am. I always get them as gifts.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43576
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Pam
Oh.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43577
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Pam
Dunder Mifflin is having our first own garage sale. Like many Americans, we realized we had a lot of things that we really didn't need. And 10 cents of every dollar is going into the party fund so we can throw parties for ourselves.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43578
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Dwight
People! Look alive. It's showtime. Doors open in 3...2...1.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43579
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Jim
Oh, yikes.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43580
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Pam
It's cold Dwight. Just shut the door and let people come in the front.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43581
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Dwight
It's good that its cold it will drive business inside.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43582
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Pam
The signs will drive people inside.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43583
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Dwight
The warmth will lure people inside.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43584
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Andy
Close it.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43585
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Dwight
This is how business...
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43586
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Andy
Close it.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43587
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Dwight
I'm not closing the door.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43588
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Andy
Close it.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43589
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Dwight
Stop it.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43590
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Andy
Just close it.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43591
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Dwight
Uh oh, looks like someone's sign is a little crooked. Uh, looks awful. Need a thumb tack?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43592
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Meredith
Sure.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43593
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Dwight
Not so fast.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43594
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Dwight
Schrute's are farmers by hobby, and traders by trade. Through the art of the swap, I will walk out of this garage sale with the finest item here.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43595
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Dwight
I will trade you for the used candle.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43596
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Meredith
Forget you.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43597
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Dwight
Come on, its trash, like your sign, unless you have this.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43598
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Meredith
Fine, just give it.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43599
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Dwight
That's how it's done.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43600
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Kevin
Woah, I love her. How much for that?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43601
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Michael
I uh... I actually don't know why I brought that because It's kind of priceless.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43602
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Holly
10 dollars.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43603
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Michael
Mhmm, no I paid 500 dollars for that.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43604
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Kevin
200
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43605
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Michael
500
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43606
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Holly
20
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43607
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Kevin
45
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43608
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Michael
Get lost.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43609
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Kevin
Damn it.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43610
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Michael
That is how you do it.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43611
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Holly
You know we don't have to sell that if you don't want to. If it's a problem with the neon I can have my neon guy take a look.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43612
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Michael
You know it's really more for a bachelor pad. I just want to get a fair price.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43613
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Holly
Well we could put it in storage... in case.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43614
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Michael
In case... in case of what?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43615
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Holly
You know... in case if something changes.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43616
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Michael
I don't have an in case. Do you have an in case?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43617
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Holly
Nope.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43618
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Lady
How much for the slip and slide?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43619
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Michael
Get lost.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43620
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Michael
Yes, hello Mr. Flax this is Michael Scott, your daughter's boss. I am calling because I am going to have to fire your daughter Holly because she is such a terrible employee. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm actually calling because I'm in love with her. I love your daughter, and I have for some time. And I would like to discuss my intentions with you... which are to ask her to marry me. And I was just hoping you would give me your approval. And this isn't a joke. So call me back, when you get this. And I look forward to speaking. Thank you.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43621
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Kelly
Are you serious? A half used candle? Get out of here Dwight. You're blocking my table with your giant body.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43622
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Dwight
Oh, cause there's a huge line of people waiting in line who want your spinster tchotchkes.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43623
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Kelly
Screw you man. People like my stuff.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43624
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Dwight
People like Ryan? Let me tell you about men like him. He comes over and you're like 'Hey baby let me light a candle' then you pull out this one half used and he's like 'Uh! Who else is she seeing? I better lock her down fast.'
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43625
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Kelly
You can take my Helen Fielding collection.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43626
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Dwight
And the Jennifer Weiner collection.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43627
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Andy
Oh my gosh, you have the Dallas board game?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43628
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Kevin
Yea when I was a kid I was on Dallas.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43629
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Andy
Really?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43630
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Kevin
Yea. When I was kid we missed our connecting flight and we spent the entire day on Dallas. Then we spent a week on Hawaii... I was in heaven.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43631
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Darryl
We should play it.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43632
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Andy
Well... there's no instructions.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43633
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Darryl
It's Dallas the game, we can figure it out.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43634
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Kevin
Yea.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43635
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Andy
I'm pretty good at board games.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43636
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Darryl
Well, shall we make it a little interesting?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43637
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Andy
Sure.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43638
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Dwight
What is this?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43639
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Jim
How did those get out? I'm sorry.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43640
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Dwight
Professor Copperfield's Miracle Legumes?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43641
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Jim
I was in Jamaica, and I got lost, and it was getting dark this one night and then out of nowhere with a cart and he's selling these. Dwight he's telling me things about myself that there's no way he could have known.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43642
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Dwight
That's a common swindlers trick.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43643
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Jim
Probably, probably. So I buy some, I turn the corner, I feel like an idiot, so I go back to get my money, he was gone.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43644
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Dwight
So you wanna sell me magic beans.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43645
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Jim
Correction. I do not want to sell you Professor Copperfield's Miracle Legumes.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43646
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Dwight
Nice try. No. Correction. Terrible try.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43647
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Holly
Michael called Dad?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43648
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Holly's Mom
Your friend Michael, yes. What's going on?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43649
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Holly
Um, I think I know. But I'll sound stupid if I'm wrong but is Dad there?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43650
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Holly's Dad
Holly?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43651
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Holly
Hi Dad.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43652
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Holly's Dad
There was a program on TV about India.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43653
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Holly
Um, ok. Did you connect with Michael?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43654
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Holly's Dad
Wanna watch it?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43655
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Holly
I... I'm not there Dad, I'm in Pennsylvania.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43656
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Holly's Dad
What are you doing there?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43657
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Holly
I live here. Um, can I talk to you about Michael?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43658
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Holly's Dad
I'll, I'll put your mother on.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43659
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Holly
No. No... no Dad.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43660
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Holly's Mom
Holly?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43661
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Holly
Mom, Dad can't seem to focus on a subject.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43662
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Holly's Mom
Don't you worry about him, he's got me.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43663
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Holly
Well who do you have?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43664
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Holly's Mom
I have your father. He's right here I'll put him on.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43665
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Holly
No. Mom?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43666
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Pam
Oh, which one is decaf?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43667
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Pam
Michael! Michael!
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43668
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Michael
Hi.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43669
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Pam
Hi.. I was just coming out to see what you were doing and to maybe stop you.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43670
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Michael
Oh, you know what, you have a siphon? I think I'm gonna run out of gas.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43671
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Pam
Why do you need more gas?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43672
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Michael
Well, I'm writing a message.
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43673
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Pam
Is it a good message or a bad message?
Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43674