Every line from The Office season 7, episode 14, in script order. First aired February 3, 2011.
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Michael
All right. What do you do with the hog dogs that you don't sell?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42728
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Hot Dog Guy
Throw 'em away.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42729
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Michael
Well, okay, instead of throwing them all away later, why don't you just throw one away now into my mouth?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42730
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Hot Dog Guy
No.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42731
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Michael
Okay. You've just lost my business.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42732
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Dwight
Hey.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42733
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Erin
Hey, you were in there forever.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42734
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Dwight
There's too many brands. Where's Holly?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42735
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Erin
She wandered off like an idiot.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42736
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Dwight
Hey!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42737
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Holly
Hey.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42738
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Dwight
What are you doing?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42739
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Holly
Oh, just changing my cell phone plan. Okay. Okay. Here you go. I'll take my free stress ball too now.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42740
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Cell Phone Sales Person
Sure thing. Here you go, Miss... Okay, Fanny Smellmore. Real original.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42741
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Holly
What?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42742
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Cell Phone Sales Person
You know what? Say hi to Orville Tootenbacher for me.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42743
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Dwight
Tootenbacher.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42744
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Erin
Orville Tootenbacher. That's Michael's millionaire character that...
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42745
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Dwight and Erin
farts popcorn.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42746
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Dwight
Of course. He was here. She's the key. Amazing. Holly. Hey, where you would you like to go next? Holly?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42747
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Holly
Are their egg rolls really that big?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42748
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Michael
Oh, boy. That was yummy. Thank you so much. You know what? I think I left my wallet in my car. Do you mind if I run out and get it?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42749
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Waiter
No problem.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42750
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Michael
Okay. I'll be right back.. Okay. You know what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't have my wallet and I was gonna try to dine and dash and that was stupid and I realize I can't do that to you fine people.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42751
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Waiter
So you can't pay for your food?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42752
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Michael
Well I can, but I will have to come back later tonight and pay you. But the point is I did the right thing.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42753
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Waiter
You did not. You have no money. And you dined so much.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42754
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Michael
Well the number three is not such a giant feast.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42755
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Waiter
Mr. Chu!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42756
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Michael
Okay, all right. You know what?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42757
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Waiter
You were trying to steal food from us?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42758
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Michael
I am not. I just have had a bad day. And I... okay. I'll be back later with the money. I'm just gonna leave right now.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42759
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Waiter
You can't. We'll stop you.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42760
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Michael
Well, I think I can get through the door.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42761
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Dwight
Excuse me Do you speak English? We are looking for a man. Michael, this tall, black hair, Caucasian...
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42762
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Erin
It's Michael!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42763
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Waiter
He just left.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42764
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Erin
You knew.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42765
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Holly
What? No. Dwight asked if I wanted an egg roll. What... what are you implying?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42766
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Dwight
Uncanny. Put a pin in that. Which way did he go? That guy! When he leave here, which way did he go? We looking for him. This way, this way, this way? I don't know. Do you know?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42767
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Waiter
I think he was heading downtown.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42768
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Dwight
He's heading downtown.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42769
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Gabe
So what, no one's even gonna try?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42770
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Pam
Guess not.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42771
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Gabe
Oh, come on. My rules could not possibly have been that oppressive.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42772
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Darryl
You crushed our spirits, Gabe. Congrats. You're a big man, huh? Take a lot to destroy the creativity of a whole group of people.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42773
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Gabe
Hey...
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42774
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Stanley
Click the 'x'
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42775
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Phyllis
I'm clicking!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42776
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Stanley
In the box.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42777
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Phyllis
I am clicking.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42778
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Stanley
Woman, you've had a computer for years!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42779
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Andy
Phyllis!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42780
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Gabe
Too late! Oh. Ha. An IM chat. Very clever. I'll just print that out. Come on guys. Grow up. I don't want to be your babysitter.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42781
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Andy
Oooohhh.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42782
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Gabe
Darn it Bob. I told you not to buy a Sabre brand lifeboat.'
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42783
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Kevin
Nice!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42784
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Gabe
No, not nice. Terrible. Doesn't even include the fact that they're dogs.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42785
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Andy
Do the next one.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42786
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Gabe
Wake up, Fred. The power cord on your Sabre printer shocked you into a coma, and you're dreaming you're a dog on a desert island.'
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42787
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Darryl
Dreaming he's a dog on a island.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42788
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Gabe
Uh, excuse me, excuse me. How does the speaker know what the guy in the coma is dreaming?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42789
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Phyllis
Well, if you think it's so easy, Gabe, why don't you try it?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42790
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Gabe
Umm... 'You don't have to sniff my rear end anymore, Bob, I'm the only one here.' Ha.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42791
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Oscar
That's tasteless, Gabe.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42792
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Gabe
Tasteless?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42793
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Oscar
Tasteless.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42794
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Gabe
More tasteless than this...'is that a palm tree or did Gabe get skinnier? Either way, let's pee on it.'
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42795
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Pam
Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a winner.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42796
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Phyllis
Yes.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42797
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Kevin
Yes, well done!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42798
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Oscar
Who's is it? Who wrote that?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42799
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Phyllis
Yeah, who wrote it?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42800
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Angela
Please. It was easy once I decided I wanted the dog to piss on Gabe.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42801
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Erin
Where did he go, Holly?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42802
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Holly
I have no idea.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42803
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Dwight
Do you see a little clown that you want to follow, huh? Is there a little bird that's chirping to you, 'this way, this way'?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42804
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Holly
I don't know.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42805
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Dwight
Okay, close your eyes, we need you to think. What is Michael seeing right now? Can you tell him that we miss him? Michael we're coming for you!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42806
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Holly
Will you stop! There has been a few coincidences, that's all.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42807
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Dwight
All right then. Someone propose a plan.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42808
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Erin
Okay. We fan out...
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42809
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Dwight
Not you, Erin.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42810
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Holly
Stop looking at me like that. Okay, let's just go up somewhere high and see if we could spot him on the street below.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42811
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Dwight
That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. No. Tap into your common mind and tell us what he would do next.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42812
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Holly
Look, I'm not playing. I'm gonna go look for him.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42813
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Erin
Good. We don't need her.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42814
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Dwight
Right. I can do this on my own. I can think like Michael. All right... I'm deep below the ocean's surface in a submarine. A torpedo's coming right at me. No. Damn it, that's just my own imagination. Maybe he's bowling.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42815
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Holly
Michael?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42816
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Michael
Hi. How did you know I was up here?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42817
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Holly
What are you doing up here?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42818
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Michael
I got turned around. I thought I could see Dunder Mifflin.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42819
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Holly
Dunder Mifflin.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42820
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Michael
Yeah. Wow. I just miss you so much.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42821
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Holly
I missed you too.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42822
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Michael
Really?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42823
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Holly
Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42824
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Michael
Can I kiss you?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42825
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Holly
Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42826
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Michael
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42827