Every line from The Office season 7, episode 14, in script order. First aired February 3, 2011.
-
Pam
Understood.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42628
-
Jim
And his wallet and phone are on the seat next to me.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42629
-
Pam
Got it. I will put out a A.P.B. Otherwise known as a 'Ask Pam Beasley'. ... Did the phone cut off?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42630
-
Jim
Nope.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42631
-
Pam
Alright, just call me after the doctor.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42632
-
Jim
Ok. Bye.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42633
-
Pam
Bye.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42634
-
Michael
I know, I know you have a phone policy. I understand. But this is an emergency because my friend isn't here and I am worried that he has been abducted.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42635
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Attendant
No, he ditched you man. I saw him drive away.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42636
-
Michael
There is no way he ditched me. There is no way that happened. He's my... Ok. May I please just use your phone? Please!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42637
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Attendant
Just make it quick.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42638
-
Michael
Ok. I will make it quick. I will make it very quick. And you don't have my numbers on speed dial. Ah, Ok. What is it?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42639
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Attendant
You don't know it.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42640
-
Michael
You know what, I can dial 411, get Jim's number.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42641
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Attendant
He left you here on purpose. All right? I saw it. He just drove away.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42642
-
Michael
Actually this is good. I am going to take this opportunity to go walk-about. Good. Good. Nope, get away. No, that's enough. Ok.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42643
-
Holly
It's the gas station on Benet Street?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42644
-
Pam
Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42645
-
Holly
Ok.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42646
-
Erin
You know what? Why don't you stay and I'll go?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42647
-
Holly
Oh no no no. I'll be fine.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42648
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Erin
It's kind of a sketchy neighborhood though. I better come along.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42649
-
Dwight
Problem solved everyone. Space Orphan and Princess Nincompoop are off to rescue Michael. Unbelievable. I'm going. You drive, I got a car full of fox meat.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42650
-
Pam
Cute. Very funny, everyone. Who wrote captions under my doodle? I'm not even kidding. They're pretty good.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42651
-
Oscar
Which on in particular?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42652
-
Andy
Yeah, which one?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42653
-
Pam
Well the first one has a surprise factor. 'I'm a suck suck-suckidy Sabre!'
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42654
-
Andy
Boo-yea!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42655
-
Gabe
No no. No no no.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42656
-
Pam
But, ah, I suppose the second one is the better written line.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42657
-
Oscar
You suppose?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42658
-
Darryl
What's it say?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42659
-
Oscar
I'm suppose to be wearing red gloves but my color cartridge portal, got jammed again.'
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42660
-
Gabe
Ok. No no no.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42661
-
Kevin
Red gloves.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42662
-
Darrly
Keep it real.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42663
-
Pam
You guys, if I knew you wanted to do a caption contest, I would have drawn something more challenging.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42664
-
Darryl
And I will take you all down.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42665
-
Andy
You?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42666
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Darryl
I've been reading the comics to my daughter since she was three years old. Not once I have used the real captions to Family Circus. That crazy family is hilarious to her for one reason: me.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42667
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Andy
Oh it is on like Genghis Khan wearing Sean Jean in Buton.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42668
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Pam
Yes. You guys, I have the perfect idea. Ok, it will just take me ten minutes.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42669
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Andy
Woo-hoo.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42670
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Kevin
I can't wait.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42671
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Dwight
Male. Caucasian. Forties. Black hair. Facial type: marsupial.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42672
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Erin
He answers to Michal. Michal G. Scott. Michael J. Fox. Mr. Fox. The Incredible Mr. Fox.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42673
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Attendant
Yeah, he just left.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42674
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Holly
Which way did he go?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42675
-
Dwight
Hey hey hey. Let me answer this. Stupid question. He went back to the office, obviously, which is that way.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42676
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Holly
Oh really? You don't think he walked by the bakery just for the smell of it?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42677
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Attendant
She's right. He went that way.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42678
-
Dwight
Alright. Don't get a swelled head. You're no tracker. Let's ride.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42679
-
Michael
Hey you guys. Listen to me. Don't get hung up on just one girl because there are a whole lot of other girls out there. Look over there. See? They look cute. Hello! You guys are so beautiful. You're so colorful. I wish I could understand you. That's a metaphor I guess. You are disgusting. You'll never find love. Yekkk. Do you think she needs more time or is it never going to happen? I'm being serious. Seriously.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42680
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Pam
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42681
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Dwight
Has Michael checked in?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42682
-
Pam
Oh, hey Dwight.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42683
-
Dwight
I asked you a question.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42684
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Pam
No, he hasn't.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42685
-
Dwight
Goodbye.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42686
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Pam
No, wait. Hey, while you are out, could pick up some paper towels and chocolate syrup? We have ice cream so I thought...
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42687
-
Dwight
Pam, this isn't a shopping trip.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42688
-
Erin
No.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42689
-
Dwight
This is a man-hunt slash rescue mission.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42690
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Pam
Ok. I, just, when you are done or any time it's convent, I just thought since you are out...
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42691
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Dwight
Pam, I'm obviously going to get that stuff for you so just shut up.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42692
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Pam
Ok, well it wasn't obvious so...
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42693
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Dwight
No word from Michael.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42694
-
Holly
Oh.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42695
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Pam
Ta-da!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42696
-
Kevin
Ok, it's two giant dogs with two giant palm trees on a regular size island.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42697
-
Oscar
Ok. I got one.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42698
-
Pam
Yeah?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42699
-
Oscar
Yes!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42700
-
Gabe
Ok, I'm sorry but I am going to have to shut this down.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42701
-
Office
Boo!
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42702
-
Meredith
Why?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42703
-
Gabe
Unless we can all agree to some ground rules. It's either that or I can fax this to Joe and let her decide how to proceed.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42704
-
Darryl
Gabe, tell us your stupid rules so we can start the game.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42705
-
Gabe
Number one, and this should be obvious, no captions that insult the company we work for.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42706
-
Oscar
Irony is such a critical...
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42707
-
Gabe
Number two: no pop culture references.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42708
-
Pam
Seriously?
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42709
-
Oscar
Wow.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42710
-
Gabe
I think we can all agree that they tend to alienate those who don't get the reference, making them feel like the other.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42711
-
Darryl
Wrap it up, Gabe.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42712
-
Gabe
Ok final thing, and this is a fun one: Instead of writing the caption directly under the picture, let's all try using Sticky Quips. All right? New, from Dunder Mifflin Sabre.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42713
-
Gabe
Sticky Quips are fun. They are safe. They are handy. I like to use Sticky Quips as regular Post-It notes when I am in a fun mood. Not every day.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42714
-
Gabe
Go get 'em. Start quipin'.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42715
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Oscar
Pam, I think I'm going to send you an IM.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42716
-
Pam
Oh! Ok.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42717
-
Darryl
Send me one too.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42718
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Andy
Yeah, yeah. Put me on that.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42719
-
Phyllis
C.C
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42720
-
Kevin
Ditto.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42721
-
Michael
Hello. I would like a hot dog please. Now, I don't have any money so here is what I would like to do. I leave you here with my watch, and I come back later to pay for the hot dog.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42722
-
Hot Dog Guy
I'm not a pawn shop.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42723
-
Michael
Well I understand that but this is a $45 watch.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42724
-
Hot Dog Guy
Wow.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42725
-
Michael
With that I can buy... half the menu.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42726
-
Hot Dog Guy
I can't just go giving away hot dogs.
Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42727