Every quote from The Office season 7, episode 12, in script order. First aired January 20, 2011.
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Pam
How is it going?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42125
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Creed
I'm having a little trouble motivating.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42126
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Pam
One of the hardest parts about making resolutions is keeping them. In fact, most resolutions are abandoned by February.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42127
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Michael
Or sooner.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42128
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42129
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Michael
That's not a joke.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42130
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Pam
But that's okay. Because it's not about being perfect, it's about trying. In fact, why don't we go around and confess some of the ways that we've fudged on some of our resolutions?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42131
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Kevin
Well, I said that I would eat more vegetables, and I haven't yet. But it's okay. I still have time, since last year, I ate none.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42132
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Pam
Okay, well, my confession is that today I had a sip of coffee. But that's fine.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42133
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Michael
Is it?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42134
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Pam
Yes! Because with all of your support, by this time next year maybe I'll be down to one glass of iced tea a week.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42135
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Michael
Next year? Come-I mean, what is the point? What is the point of that? I made a resolution to floss, and I did it. 12:01, January first, BAM! Blood everywhere.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42136
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Kevin
Well not all of us are Michael Freaking Scott.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42137
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Michael
What is wrong with you people? Can't you stick to anything? Erin, I want you to go to the kitchen and get me some vegetables. Creed, you say you want to do a cartwheel? Nothing's stopping you. Come on, old man, do a cartwheel!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42138
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Creed
Well, I can't, I don't know how.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42139
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Michael
You're just gonna somersault around for the rest of your life and you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42140
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Creed
My tombstone's already made, thank you.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42141
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Michael
Just do a cartwheel!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42142
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Erin
This is all I could find.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42143
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Michael
Eat it.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42144
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Pam
You don't have to do that, Kevin.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42145
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Kevin
I don't know. I'm glad this is happening. Thank you, Michael.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42146
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Kelly
Why are you eating stem first?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42147
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Kevin
This is a new food for me, how else should I eat it?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42148
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Ryan
The other way.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42149
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Kevin
Can I get some cheese whiz? Or hollandaise?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42150
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Michael
No. No cheese whiz, no hollandaise, no chocolate sauce, just eat it. Come on. Here comes the airplane, there you go. Open, open, into the hanger, there you go.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42151
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Pam
Oh, Michael.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42152
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Michael
Eat it. Put it in your mouth, and just eat it.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42153
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Kevin
God, I hate it.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42154
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Michael
I don't care whether you hate it! You said you'd do it!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42155
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Angela
All right!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42156
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Michael
Eat it!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42157
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Kelly
You're killing him, Michael!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42158
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Michael
All right, all right, shh!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42159
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Kevin
All right, I ate the fluffy part, can I be done?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42160
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Michael
Let me see if you swallowed it, open your mouth. Under your tongue. Oh, God! You guys are pathetic.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42161
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Kevin
Can I get some candy, or something?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42162
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Michael
No! You can't have any candy!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42163
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Oscar
I'll get him water.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42164
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Pam
Okay, Michael, just settle down.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42165
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Michael
Holly Flax.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42166
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Holly
Yes, Michael?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42167
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Michael
Not Michael, E.T.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42168
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Holly
What's up?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42169
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Michael
Well, I just want to talk about what happened in there.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42170
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Holly
Oh, no, Michael, I don't want to talk about it with you. I mean, I'm fine, I just... I don't want to talk about it.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42171
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Michael
Holly, come on in. Thanks for coming. I thought there should be an HR rep here for this. So, Kevin and Creed, things got a little bit intense in the conference room.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42172
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Creed
You think?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42173
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Michael
And I wanted to apologize. These resolutions should be about you, and I made it about me, and it was none of my beeswax.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42174
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Kevin
You were super mean.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42175
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Michael
It was insensitive and I am sorry.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42176
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Kevin
It was traumatizing, Michael. I wouldn't be surprised if I never ate a vegetable again.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42177
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Michael
I really wanted you to follow through on your resolutions. The cartwheel, the veggies... I... care about you. Very much. And you loom so large in my heart that I crossed the line.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42178
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Kevin
Okay, Michael, no offense, but you need to get your own life.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42179
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Michael
You're right. And I hope that we can still be friends.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42180
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Creed
I don't think I'm there yet, Boss.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42181
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Kevin
Well, I am.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42182
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Michael
Okay, oh! All right.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42183
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Kevin
I'm going to help you.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42184
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Michael
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42185
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DJ
[at the skating rink]Hey, uh. It's just you. Anything you want to hear?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42186
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Andy
Um... Dave Matthews Band. No hits! Deep tracks only.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42187
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DJ
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42188
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Andy
I said no hits!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42189
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Ryan
I just feel blocked. Like I'm living, but I'm not...
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42190
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Kevin
Hey, Ryan.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42191
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Ryan
Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42192
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Kevin
How's your fart project coming?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42193
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Ryan
That's real, real classy, Kevin. Hey, was it me or you that just shoved the butt end of a pound of broccoli into my mouth because Michael told me to?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42194
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Kevin
Me.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42195
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Pam
Kevin, don't! Come on!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42196
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Kelly
Oh, Pam, soda. Caffeine!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42197
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Pam
Yeah, just a little, I have a lot to deal with today.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42198
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Meredith
Well, if you don't have to do 'em...
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42199
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Kelly
Meredith, what are you doing? I could be pregnant!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42200
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Ryan
Okay, no.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42201
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Kelly
My resolution was to get more attention.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42202
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Ryan
No, she's lying.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42203
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Kevin
Hey, Ryan.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42204
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Erin
One, two, three. I did it! I did a cartwheel!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42205
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Creed
Fuck you! Fuck you! God!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42206
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Pam
Okay, that's it.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42207
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Pam
Lesson learned.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42208
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Darryl
Sup?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42209
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Andy
Hey! Where did you go?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42210
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Darryl
To the arcade.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42211
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Andy
Oh, cool.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42212
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Darryl
Why, did you meet someone?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42213
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Andy
Yeah, I did actually. His name is Andy, and he roller skates like a Greek god and you know what? I kinda like hanging out with him.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42214
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Darryl
Right on, son.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42215
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Dwight
Gentlemen.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42216
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Andy
And where did you go?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42217
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Dwight
Strip club. I was looking at the strippers at the strip club.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42218
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Darryl
Right.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42219
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DJ
So, that's it, guys? If you want, I can put on the strobe.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42220
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Dwight
Yeah!
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42221
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Erin
You want to keep this?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42222
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Michael
No.
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42223
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Erin
Do you want to keep this?
Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42224