"Ultimatum" Quotes

Every line from The Office season 7, episode 12, in script order. First aired January 20, 2011.

319 quotes · page 1 of 4

  1. Man

    Next up, secretary Schrute will read the minutes from Sunday's meeting.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41925

  2. Dwight

    Minutes from previous meeting of Knights of the Night. No, Jim, hey!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41926

  3. Jim

    Oh.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41927

  4. Dwight

    This meeting is for Knights of the Night only.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41928

  5. Dwight

    Knights of the Night are volunteer crime patrollers. We're often compared to the Guardian Angels, but we could not be more different from them. Seriously, we are nothing like the Guardian Angels. I mean, broad strokes purposes, sure. Think Guardian Angels. One of our many recent good deeds? We set out to capture the Scranton Strangler. Mission accomplished. Not by us.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41929

  6. Jim

    I'm actually just looking for my Blackberry, so, carry on.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41930

  7. Dwight

    No, no, no, no, no. I see how this movie ends. You make fun of me, everyone laughs, ha, ha, ha... screw you!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41931

  8. Man

    Dwight, don't be bothered by your friend's presence.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41932

  9. Dwight

    What are you going to do now? Are you going to make fun of our leader's weird voice? Huh? Dwight, don't be bothered by the. Over the line, Jim.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41933

  10. Jim

    I'm just looking for my phone, so... pretend I'm not here.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41934

  11. Dwight

    Fine. Minutes from previous meeting of Knights of the Night. That's our official name, Jim.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41935

  12. Jim

    Sounds good.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41936

  13. Dwight

    Reflective strips were glued to patrol jackets. Knights went outside with flashlights to test them.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41937

  14. Jim

    Smart.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41938

  15. Dwight

    And the rest was juststuff.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41939

  16. Man

    Go ahead and read it, some people weren't here.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41940

  17. Dwight

    Okay. Knights stayed outside to play flashlight tag.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41941

  18. Jim

    Oh, come on, that sounds awesome.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41942

  19. Member

    It was pretty cool.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41943

  20. Jim

    Was it?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41944

  21. Member

    It was fun.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41945

  22. Dwight

    It was pretty awesome.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41946

  23. Jim

    Hey! Yeah. No, I got it. Just leaving now.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41947

  24. Michael

    January three, 2011. A day which will live in-famously. Holly Partridge Flax, otherwise known as Holly, otherwise otherwise known as a living, breathing angel, is engaged to another man. This is freaking me out. I- okay, let's switch to the happy video, okay? No, no, no, no, let's push through. We'll do this.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41948

  25. Michael

    Today will either be the best or the worst day of my life. Holly gave AJ an ultimatum. He either proposes by New Year's or they break up. Now, if she's engaged, I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm gonna start attacking people. If she's not engaged, in all honesty, I may just burn this whole place to the ground out of happiness. Either way, I am going to need some talking down. And nobody talks me down like myself in a video talking me down.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41949

  26. Michael

    Michael, I know what you're thinking. Holly's engaged to another man, and you want to kill yourself. It may seem like a good idea, but it's not.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41950

  27. Erin

    Snot. Sorry, it sounded like you said it's snot. I am so sorry.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41951

  28. Michael

    Okay, so killing yourself. I was just thinking about snot.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41952

  29. Angela

    Good morning.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41953

  30. Pam

    Hey, guys! Fun thing. The index cards on your desk are resolution cards. You write your New Year's resolution on them, I'll collect them, and then display them on... da-da-da-da-da! This! Resolution board.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41954

  31. Dwight

    Wow. Did your baby draw that?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41955

  32. Angela

    The glitter is blinding.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41956

  33. Phyllis

    I think it's good.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41957

  34. Pam

    It's gonna be fun.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41958

  35. Pam

    I recently met Sue, the office administrator at Vance Refrigeration. She has this awesome wall full of fun initiatives and morale boosters and stuff. Sue just goes for it, she's awesome.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41959

  36. Phyllis

    I know Sue. She's not that great. And you know her husband's in a wheelchair, right?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41960

  37. Erin

    Okay, champagne.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41961

  38. Michael

    Happy.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41962

  39. Erin

    Sponge.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41963

  40. Michael

    Sad. To soak up my tears.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41964

  41. Erin

    Gummi bears and gummi worms.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41965

  42. Michael

    Bears sad, worms happy. Come on, Erin.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41966

  43. Erin

    Ukulele's happy?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41967

  44. Michael

    Sad, something to break.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41968

  45. Erin

    Chocolates.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41969

  46. Michael

    For you, job well done.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41970

  47. Erin

    Thank you! And two bottles of scotch.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41971

  48. Michael

    Both sad.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41972

  49. Erin

    And did you get the tickets?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41973

  50. Michael

    I did! I did, indeed. Two front row center, to Paula Poundstone, Live in Poughkeepsie. Holly's favorite. I hope she doesn't call us up on stage. That would suck. 'Hey, you think you can do my job better?' I don't know. 'What's your name?' Michael.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41974

  51. Erin

    I'm really excited for Michael either way. Because if Holly chooses to be with him, he will be so, so happy. And if not, he'll be avoiding the biggest mistake of his life!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41975

  52. Pam

    Oh, hey, guys! I'd like to introduce you to a new little friend of mine. His name is New Year's resolution board.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41976

  53. Michael

    Shaaa-shut up. Hello.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41977

  54. Kelly

    What happened? Is there a ring?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41978

  55. Michael

    So... high five me. We're back. To a happy... look at those! Mittens. Are those a present?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41979

  56. Kelly

    Come on!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41980

  57. Holly

    They're warm.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41981

  58. Michael

    They're so fuzzy and warm! Let me feel those. Let me feel that. Put 'er there. Give me a good firm... ooh! That's a good firm handshake. You're hired! Yes, let's get right into the Anderson account, shall we? Yes, yes, right away.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41982

  59. Dwight

    Hey, hey, hey. Want me to crank the thermostat up to 90, smoke her out? She can't keep those mittens on forever.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41983

  60. Michael

    Yes, no, why? Stop! Yes.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41984

  61. Kevin

    Congratu-ohhh.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41985

  62. Kelly

    Wow.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41986

  63. Michael

    Oh my God! That's it! That's it!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41987

  64. Holly

    Oh, I get it. Everybody knows about the ultimatum.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41988

  65. Kelly

    Yes, I told everyone.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41989

  66. Holly

    Ha ha, ha ha!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41990

  67. Kevin

    Hey! Right back atcha, bitch!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41991

  68. Michael

    Happy! Happy, happy, happy, happy!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41992

  69. Video Michael

    Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, calm down, breathe.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41993

  70. Michael

    I'm trying!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41994

  71. Video Michael

    I said breathe!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41995

  72. Michael

    I'm trying!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41996

  73. Video Michael

    Wait a second, are you listening to music?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41997

  74. Michael

    What?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41998

  75. Video Michael

    Shut that off!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 41999

  76. Michael

    I'm not listening to music!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42000

  77. Video Michael

    Fine, just go crazy for a little while! Lookin' good! You're lookin' good. Oh, I gotcha! I gotcha! I'm pulling you back! Michael dance off!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42001

  78. Michael

    Go! Oh, that's nice.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42002

  79. Video Michael

    Go!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42003

  80. Michael

    Me? Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42004

  81. Erin

    Go!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42005

  82. Video Michael

    Nice! We're gonna calm down later.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42006

  83. Michael

    I'm good.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42007

  84. Erin

    Oh, yeah!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42008

  85. Michael

    Oh my God!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42009

  86. Pam

    Hey, Dwight, I'm collecting resolution cards.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42010

  87. Dwight

    Not doing that.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42011

  88. Pam

    Why not?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42012

  89. Dwight

    I've achieved plenty and there's no better than the best.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42013

  90. Andy

    Drink less caffeine. That's a good one, Pam. Here's mine.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42014

  91. Pam

    Learn to cook for one!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42015

  92. Andy

    Yeah. I love cooking, but I always find myself throwing out half the food that I prepare, so... two years is time to just start preparing the right amount of food for the right number of people, which is one.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42016

  93. Pam

    Well, maybe you'll meet someone.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42017

  94. Andy

    No, some people don't just meet someone. I'm fine with it. Really. This is not a pity party. It's not a party at all. It's just sad.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42018

  95. Pam

    Angela.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42019

  96. Angela

    Yes.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42020

  97. Pam

    Make time for romance!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42021

  98. Oscar

    Who's the senator?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42022

  99. Angela

    My boyfriend.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42023

  100. Oscar

    Oh, you mean the state senator. I'm sorry, I was confused, because you accidentally wrote 'the senator'.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42024