Every line from The Office season 6, episode 7, in script order. First aired October 29, 2009.
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Michael
It's a fish.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33107
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Erin
They want you to pay for it.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33108
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Michael
It could've died of natural causes. So...
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33109
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Erin
Well, they said you stepped on it's head. He did not suffer.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33110
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Oscar
When is the funeral?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33111
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Michael
Do not mock, Oscar. Do not mock. How much do they want?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33112
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Erin
$300.00
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33113
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Michael
What? No. I could get a fish for a 5 cent worm.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33114
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Creed
Oh, you're payin' way too much for your worms, man. Who's your worm guy?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33115
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Jim
Ok. Great meeting, everybody. That's it.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33116
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Michael
No, no.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33117
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Dwight
Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33118
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Michael
No. We are not done here. This-
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33119
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Andy
One of the baby books suggets the best birthing posture is on all fours, like an animal. I just wish I had a special telephone so I could find out exactly wht the little soy bean wants. Right? Hey, little soy bean. What do you want? Right. How do- It- I felt it kick!
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33120
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Keena Gifford
That's great!
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33121
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Andy
Oh, my gosh. Like a little magical foot just high-fived me.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33122
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Pam
Yeah, well, that'll happen.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33123
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Andy
Oh, my gosh. It's like he's trying to say, 'I love you, too, Daddy'. I love you, too.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33124
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Pam
Sometimes we're so excited we forget where we are. Like at a business meeting.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33125
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Andy
Message received, little soy bean.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33126
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Jim
I think you just gotta ride this one out, man.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33127
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Michael
No, Jim. You don't understand. Things like this don't just die. Kids in high school still call me 'Ponytail'.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33128
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Jim
No, they don't.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33129
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Michael
Yes, they do, Jim. Because of the time I got my ponytail stuck in the power trail.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33130
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Jim
Maybe if you make fun of yourself it'll all go away.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33131
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Michael
I want to make fun of you right now.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33132
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Jim
Really? Do it. I am a big, stupid goofball.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33133
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Michael
No. Don't do that. You're not. You're not stupid.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33134
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Jim
See?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33135
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Michael
Oh, my God.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33136
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Michael
Hey. I- I just wanna say that I cannot believe that I walked into a Koi pond. I mean, seriously. Walk much? Oh. I should wear a snorkel to the next business meeting that I go to.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33137
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Phyllis
Michael. You know, when you think about it, it's not all your fault. I mean, who puts a Koi pond in a lobby?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33138
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Michael
Well, you know what? You're right, Phyllis, but I've been there before. I've seen that pond. This is the thing, I am a world class moron. That's the problem.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33139
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Dwight
Michael, please. Stop it now. You're embarrassing yourself.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33140
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Michael
It's ok. We're having fun. It's not actually the first time I've been embarrassed by a pond. In high school, the girls volleyball team always used to hrow me into the frozen lake. Four years in a row. Oh... it was freezing. No. No. No. Oh, this is even worse. Couple weeks ago I went to get a new cellphone and I wanted on of those packages where you have, you know, the friends- the five- the friends and family thing and the guys was like, 'Who are your 5 friends?' and I'm, like, 'Uh... ' I didn't even know I couldn't even think. Oh, my God. It was so embarrassing. That was- oh. I don't even have Jan's cell phone number and I hate her! She won't give it to me. I was like, 'Oh, I guess I'm a loser. 'A luh-whooooo a za her'. Too far! God! Thanks a lot, man. Thanks for the advice.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33141
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Kevin
Enjoying your nut?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33142
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Oscar
Kevin.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33143
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Angela
Why?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33144
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Kevin
I'm not mocking. I was just making an observation about a nut.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33145
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Angela
I was.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33146
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Michael
Hey. Who wants to watch Michael's pond dive? My roommate's friend is the night janitor over there. He swiped the security tape for me and he's bringing it over.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33147
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Jim
Mm... I'm, know what? Maybe we should go easy on Michael, guys. You know, you watch that tape and you're gonna have to stay late for more sensitity training, so...
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33148
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Kevin
We'll stay late.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33149
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Andy
Well, that went pretty well.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33150
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Pam
Yeah, I guess.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33151
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Andy
We got a maybe. It was our first maybe. Going by the Nard Dog curve, I'd say we nailed it.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33152
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Pam
If I'm being completely honest, I could've done without the belly kiss.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33153
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Andy
You know what? I'm sorry. 'Cause in that moment I knew I was kissing your belly too much.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33154
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Pam
Yeah. Way too much.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33155
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Andy
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33156
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Pam
I mean, what the hell was that?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33157
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Andy
What the heck was that?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33158
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Pam
When you cried?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33159
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Andy
Agh- try almost cried, ok? I just got caught up in the fantasy.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33160
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Pam
You're fantsy involves comparison shopping birthing classes?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33161
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Andy
No. I know I'm gonna go with Miss Janet. I just- I don't know. It was fun to role play, right?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33162
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Pam
Hmm.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33163
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Andy
I mean, it was fun for me. Having a wife and a little baby. Agh, I'm so sick of being single.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33164
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Pam
Well, are you dating anyone?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33165
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Andy
What do you think of Erin? I mean- she's- I- She's kinda cool.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33166
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Pam
Ah.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33167
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Andy
You think I can do better?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33168
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Pam
Ah.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33169
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Andy
Gotta get my goin' out on.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33170
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Meredith
Hey, let's watch this thing.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33171
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Jim
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ok. Yeah. We're not watchin' this.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33172
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Oscar
How can we not watch this?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33173
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Jim
What happened to 'Do Not Mock'?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33174
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Phyllis
We're not mocking, we're watching.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33175
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Jim
That will inevitably lead to mocking. So...
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33176
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Phyllis
Well, we'll deal with it as it comes.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33177
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Michael
Is this the tape of me falling?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33178
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Phyllis
Yes. Put the DVD in.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33179
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Kevin
Open QuickTime.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33180
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Oscar
It starts on it's own. Let it -
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33181
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Kevin
No! Use QuickTime. Trust me. I've done this.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33182
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Jim
Guys. Michael can't handle this and as your boss I'm saying we're not watching it.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33183
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Michael
No. It's ok. Watch it. He can't fire all of you.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33184
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Jim
What are you doing?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33185
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Michael
It's alright. I can handle it.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33186
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Jim
No.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33187
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Michael
I am a grown-up, Jim.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33188
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Meredith
Shh. It's on.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33189
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Kevin
Here they come. Boom!
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33190
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Oscar
Oh. Did - did you see that?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33191
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Jim
See what?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33192
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Angela
Why'd you stop it?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33193
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Jim
Oscar, yes. You're right to stop it. Thank you. Eject it.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33194
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Oscar
Jim, you let Michael fall in.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33195
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Dwight
Play it again. He purposefully leaned away and let you fall in.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33196
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Jim
Oh... man. I thinke when I started to see you go in I think I just froze.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33197
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Michael
I don't think you froze.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33198
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Jim
It's a killer new dance move. Do you wanna talk in your office?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33199
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Angela
No.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33200
-
Jim
I didn't ask you. Would you like to talk?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33201
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Dwight
Judas.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33202
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Dwight
Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So, Jim is actually my friend. But... because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy. So, actually Jim is my enemy. But-
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33203
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Jim
I should've grabbed you. I'm sorry. Look, I thought I could've done today's sales call alone. I mean, I may never be as good a salesman as you are, but I at least need the chance to do the job.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33204
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Michael
Jim is jealous of me? Jim is jealous of me.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33205
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Meredith
Hey, what's up lifeguard?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33206