Every quote from The Office season 6, episode 7, in script order. First aired October 29, 2009.
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Erin
Michael, people are asking questions.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33007
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Michael
Ok. Put them on speaker. Hey guys, what's going on?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33008
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Phyllis
Michael, did you you fall into a Koi pond?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33009
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Michael
Uh... I can't really hear you. I think we have sort of a bad connection.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33010
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Oscar
Jim, did Michael fall into a Koi pond?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33011
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Jim
Mmm... it's like Michael said. It was some- something else.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33012
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Michael
It was- Ok. This is what it was. It was these bunch of idiots who had put a fish tank in the ground with no cover and no railing.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33013
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Angela
So you fell in?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33014
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Michael
No. Maybe I was trying to save a child that had fallen in.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33015
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Angela
So a child had fallen in?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33016
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Michael
Not yet!
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33017
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Kevin
That is hilarious.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33018
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Michael
No it is- don't! I'm not gonna bump. I'm not gonna bump. And it was not hilarious. It was very, very terrifying.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33019
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Jim
Truthfully, it wasn't the way he fell in. It was... how long it took him to get out.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33020
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Pam
And we'd like to offer you 15% off your first purchase as our way of welcoming you to the area.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33021
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Customer
Well that sounds like a really nice deal.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33022
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Andy
Sha-bow.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33023
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Customer
And I must say, that since we are a family business it is nice to see that you are, too.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33024
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Andy
Oh, wow. You thought that- oh, my gosh. Oh. Definitely not.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33025
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Customer
My mistake. Sorry.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33026
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Pam
It's ok.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33027
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Andy
Nuh. Actually, it's kinda not ok. Um, I date models. Face models. My girlfriend, on a scale of one to Giselle, uh... a nine.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33028
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Customer
That- that's good for you.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33029
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Pam
Anyway, we also have a special on envelopes.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33030
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Andy
Pam's carrying our surrogate. Because my girlfriend needed to keep her figure for fashion week. So, we, uh, we put our baby in Pam. Doesn't matter what Pam looks like.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33031
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33032
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Pam
You were way meaner to me than I was to you.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33033
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Andy
No I wasn't. Ok. The very idea of us together made you burst out laughing like you just bit into an Adam Sandler and jelly sandwich.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33034
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Pam
You blew the sale, you idiot.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33035
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Andy
Let me tell you something. I was never gonna make that sale.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33036
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Michael
Erin, do we have any of those clips that hold paper together?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33037
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Erin
Staples? Uh, David Wallace called.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33038
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Michael
Oh. He did? What did he say?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33039
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Erin
He heard you made a big splash at the meeting. Oh, my God. That was so mean what I just said and I didn't mean it. It was Kevin and Meredith put me up to it.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33040
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Michael
Ok.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33041
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Kevin
I'm gonna kill you.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33042
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Stanley
Michael, don't listen to them.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33043
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Michael
Thank you, Stanley.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33044
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Stanley
You just ignore their carp.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33045
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Michael
Ok.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33046
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Dwight
Michael?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33047
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Michael
Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33048
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Dwight
A carp is both a fish and a term for complaing. They're mocking you with wordplay.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33049
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Creed
Hey, boss, did you find Nemo?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33050
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Michael
I can name Pixar movies, too. Toy Story.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33051
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Oscar
Don't you mean 'Koi Story'?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33052
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Phyllis
And when you fell in, did you flounder?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33053
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Dwight
Michael, flounder is both a kind of fish and -
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33054
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Michael
I know what a flounder is.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33055
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Michael
I'm not usually the butt of the joke. I'm usually the face of the joke. I wish Jim had fallen into that pond and he'd have to put on my suit and it'd be too short and he'd look... Damn it! He'd still look good.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33056
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Michael
The most fundamental thing about sensitivity training is that you cannot make fun of a person for something or some action that they have done that they regret. Show of hands- who has been 'Koi-ponded'? Who here's been the butt of a joke that has gone too far? Phyllis?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33057
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Phyllis
Michael, you make fun of us every day.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33058
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Michael
Uh...
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33059
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Kevin
Yeah. Every single day.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33060
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Michael
You never said anything.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33061
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Meredith
Uh, we have. Countless times.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33062
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Michael
Well, it is hard to tell the difference between you guys saying, 'Stop because I want you to stop' or STOP as in 'Stop. You're making me laugh so hard. What you're doing is so funny. You are on a roll. I am busting a gut. Stop!'
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33063
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Angela
That's never the case.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33064
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Michael
We are going to make a 'Do Not Mock' list. Ok? Anything that we think might be out of bounds, we put on this list. Anything you put on this list you cannot be teased about. Got it? I'm gonna kick it off. Let's see what I have to put on the list, right? Ok. I also have fallen into the fountain at the Steamtown Mall. Ok. Who else? Who else? Dwight, come on.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33065
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Dwight
I don't want people making fun of my nose.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33066
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Michael
Your nose?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33067
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Dwight
It's too small.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33068
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Michael
Alright.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33069
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Oscar
Oh my. That is small.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33070
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Dwight
Just, write it down, please.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33071
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Oscar
Can you breathe okay?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33072
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Kelly
What keeps your glasses on?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33073
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Dwight
Hey! It's on the list, everybody.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33074
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Michael
No. I haven't finished writing. Did you sneeze it off? That's it. No more. Ok. Who else? Who else? Everybody's getting their chance.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33075
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Kevin
I don't want people making fun of my weight.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33076
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Michael
Ok. That's to broad. It's gotta be something else. How 'bout your stomach? Yeah? Meredith?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33077
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Meredith
I don't want to say it out loud.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33078
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Michael
Ok. Fine. Come on up here. Write it yourself. And don't sign your name to it. And nobody look. Everybody look away. Look away.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33079
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Meredith
I really didn't want to put it on the board but I thought maybe it was gonna come out somehow so... what are you gonna do?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33080
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Michael
Ok.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33081
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Andy
That is our sales pitch and we are stickin' to it.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33082
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Keena Gifford
Well, you two are quite the salesmen and a very cute couple.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33083
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Andy
Well-
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33084
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Pam
Oh- Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33085
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Keena Gifford
Some couples don't seem like a good match. You two do.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33086
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Pam
Well, you know.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33087
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Andy
Yeah. You know. Two peas in a pod. We complete each other. What can I say? She loves to cook-
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33088
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Pam
He loves to eat.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33089
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Andy
I love to dance-
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33090
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Pam
I love to watch him dance.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33091
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Andy
Right. Sometimes I'll just dance for hours in the living room-
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33092
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Pam
And I'll just watch him.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33093
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Keena Gifford
And a baby on the way? You must be so excited.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33094
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Pam
Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33095
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Andy
Yeah. We are thrilled.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33096
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Pam
Mmm-hmm.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33097
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Andy
In fact, we spent the whole weekend researching various birthing coaches. Wasn't that fun, honey?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33098
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Pam
It was, sweetie.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33099
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Keena Gifford
Oh. I know the best teacher. Her name is Miss Janet.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33100
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Andy
Yeah. On Clearview Avenue.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33101
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Keena Gifford
Yeah!
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33102
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Andy
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33103
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Angela
This sounds ridiculous, I know, but some people say that I eat like a squirrel.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33104
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Phyllis
So now you're comparing yourself to a cute, tiny animal?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33105
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Erin
Um, Michael? The custodian called again. Apparently a Koi has died.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33106