Every line from The Office season 6, episode 7, in script order. First aired October 29, 2009.
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Erin
Michael, people are asking questions.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33007
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Michael
Ok. Put them on speaker. Hey guys, what's going on?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33008
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Phyllis
Michael, did you you fall into a Koi pond?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33009
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Michael
Uh... I can't really hear you. I think we have sort of a bad connection.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33010
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Oscar
Jim, did Michael fall into a Koi pond?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33011
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Jim
Mmm... it's like Michael said. It was some- something else.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33012
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Michael
It was- Ok. This is what it was. It was these bunch of idiots who had put a fish tank in the ground with no cover and no railing.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33013
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Angela
So you fell in?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33014
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Michael
No. Maybe I was trying to save a child that had fallen in.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33015
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Angela
So a child had fallen in?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33016
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Michael
Not yet!
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33017
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Kevin
That is hilarious.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33018
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Michael
No it is- don't! I'm not gonna bump. I'm not gonna bump. And it was not hilarious. It was very, very terrifying.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33019
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Jim
Truthfully, it wasn't the way he fell in. It was... how long it took him to get out.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33020
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Pam
And we'd like to offer you 15% off your first purchase as our way of welcoming you to the area.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33021
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Customer
Well that sounds like a really nice deal.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33022
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Andy
Sha-bow.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33023
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Customer
And I must say, that since we are a family business it is nice to see that you are, too.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33024
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Andy
Oh, wow. You thought that- oh, my gosh. Oh. Definitely not.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33025
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Customer
My mistake. Sorry.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33026
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Pam
It's ok.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33027
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Andy
Nuh. Actually, it's kinda not ok. Um, I date models. Face models. My girlfriend, on a scale of one to Giselle, uh... a nine.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33028
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Customer
That- that's good for you.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33029
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Pam
Anyway, we also have a special on envelopes.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33030
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Andy
Pam's carrying our surrogate. Because my girlfriend needed to keep her figure for fashion week. So, we, uh, we put our baby in Pam. Doesn't matter what Pam looks like.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33031
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33032
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Pam
You were way meaner to me than I was to you.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33033
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Andy
No I wasn't. Ok. The very idea of us together made you burst out laughing like you just bit into an Adam Sandler and jelly sandwich.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33034
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Pam
You blew the sale, you idiot.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33035
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Andy
Let me tell you something. I was never gonna make that sale.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33036
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Michael
Erin, do we have any of those clips that hold paper together?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33037
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Erin
Staples? Uh, David Wallace called.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33038
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Michael
Oh. He did? What did he say?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33039
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Erin
He heard you made a big splash at the meeting. Oh, my God. That was so mean what I just said and I didn't mean it. It was Kevin and Meredith put me up to it.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33040
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Michael
Ok.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33041
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Kevin
I'm gonna kill you.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33042
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Stanley
Michael, don't listen to them.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33043
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Michael
Thank you, Stanley.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33044
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Stanley
You just ignore their carp.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33045
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Michael
Ok.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33046
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Dwight
Michael?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33047
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Michael
Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33048
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Dwight
A carp is both a fish and a term for complaing. They're mocking you with wordplay.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33049
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Creed
Hey, boss, did you find Nemo?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33050
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Michael
I can name Pixar movies, too. Toy Story.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33051
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Oscar
Don't you mean 'Koi Story'?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33052
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Phyllis
And when you fell in, did you flounder?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33053
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Dwight
Michael, flounder is both a kind of fish and -
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33054
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Michael
I know what a flounder is.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33055
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Michael
I'm not usually the butt of the joke. I'm usually the face of the joke. I wish Jim had fallen into that pond and he'd have to put on my suit and it'd be too short and he'd look... Damn it! He'd still look good.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33056
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Michael
The most fundamental thing about sensitivity training is that you cannot make fun of a person for something or some action that they have done that they regret. Show of hands- who has been 'Koi-ponded'? Who here's been the butt of a joke that has gone too far? Phyllis?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33057
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Phyllis
Michael, you make fun of us every day.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33058
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Michael
Uh...
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33059
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Kevin
Yeah. Every single day.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33060
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Michael
You never said anything.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33061
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Meredith
Uh, we have. Countless times.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33062
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Michael
Well, it is hard to tell the difference between you guys saying, 'Stop because I want you to stop' or STOP as in 'Stop. You're making me laugh so hard. What you're doing is so funny. You are on a roll. I am busting a gut. Stop!'
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33063
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Angela
That's never the case.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33064
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Michael
We are going to make a 'Do Not Mock' list. Ok? Anything that we think might be out of bounds, we put on this list. Anything you put on this list you cannot be teased about. Got it? I'm gonna kick it off. Let's see what I have to put on the list, right? Ok. I also have fallen into the fountain at the Steamtown Mall. Ok. Who else? Who else? Dwight, come on.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33065
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Dwight
I don't want people making fun of my nose.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33066
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Michael
Your nose?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33067
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Dwight
It's too small.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33068
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Michael
Alright.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33069
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Oscar
Oh my. That is small.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33070
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Dwight
Just, write it down, please.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33071
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Oscar
Can you breathe okay?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33072
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Kelly
What keeps your glasses on?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33073
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Dwight
Hey! It's on the list, everybody.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33074
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Michael
No. I haven't finished writing. Did you sneeze it off? That's it. No more. Ok. Who else? Who else? Everybody's getting their chance.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33075
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Kevin
I don't want people making fun of my weight.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33076
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Michael
Ok. That's to broad. It's gotta be something else. How 'bout your stomach? Yeah? Meredith?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33077
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Meredith
I don't want to say it out loud.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33078
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Michael
Ok. Fine. Come on up here. Write it yourself. And don't sign your name to it. And nobody look. Everybody look away. Look away.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33079
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Meredith
I really didn't want to put it on the board but I thought maybe it was gonna come out somehow so... what are you gonna do?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33080
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Michael
Ok.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33081
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Andy
That is our sales pitch and we are stickin' to it.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33082
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Keena Gifford
Well, you two are quite the salesmen and a very cute couple.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33083
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Andy
Well-
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33084
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Pam
Oh- Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33085
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Keena Gifford
Some couples don't seem like a good match. You two do.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33086
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Pam
Well, you know.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33087
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Andy
Yeah. You know. Two peas in a pod. We complete each other. What can I say? She loves to cook-
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33088
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Pam
He loves to eat.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33089
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Andy
I love to dance-
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33090
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Pam
I love to watch him dance.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33091
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Andy
Right. Sometimes I'll just dance for hours in the living room-
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33092
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Pam
And I'll just watch him.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33093
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Keena Gifford
And a baby on the way? You must be so excited.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33094
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Pam
Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33095
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Andy
Yeah. We are thrilled.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33096
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Pam
Mmm-hmm.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33097
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Andy
In fact, we spent the whole weekend researching various birthing coaches. Wasn't that fun, honey?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33098
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Pam
It was, sweetie.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33099
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Keena Gifford
Oh. I know the best teacher. Her name is Miss Janet.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33100
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Andy
Yeah. On Clearview Avenue.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33101
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Keena Gifford
Yeah!
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33102
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Andy
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33103
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Angela
This sounds ridiculous, I know, but some people say that I eat like a squirrel.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33104
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Phyllis
So now you're comparing yourself to a cute, tiny animal?
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33105
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Erin
Um, Michael? The custodian called again. Apparently a Koi has died.
Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33106