Every line from The Office season 6, episode 3, in script order. First aired October 1, 2009.
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Oscar
Exactly!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31584
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Kevin
Totally!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31585
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Oscar
We work just as hard as the sales people. We deserve raises.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31586
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Creed
Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31587
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Angela
Yes. They don't get 'em, if we don't get 'em!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31588
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Meredith
My kid needs shoes! You want to tell him he doesn't get shoes?!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31589
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Kevin
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31590
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Dwight
Her kid needs shoes, Jim!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31591
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Meredith
What the hell?!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31592
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Jim
Wow! I'm just gonna rewind and back off a bit, so...
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31593
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Michael
That was good! That was good! Okay, all right. Well, we all know it's hard to be a boss, right? You know what? Look around you. These are your best friends. These are the people who will open their hearts to you. They all have heart-ons for you, and that is a gift. So in terms of gifts, we should be giving each other gifts. Angela, yes, lend Oscar a cup of sugar. This--
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31594
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Angela
What are you talking about Michael?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31595
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Stanley
We just need to hear your plan for our raise.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31596
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Michael
My plan-- a man-- panama.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31597
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Andy
That's not how that goes.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31598
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Meredith
You're not saying anything. At least Jim was being direct...
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31599
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Jim
Thank you, Meredith.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31600
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Meredith
...when he was telling us his dumbass plan.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31601
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Oscar
We would just like to know what's happening. Are we getting a raise, yes or no?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31602
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Michael
Alright! Let me get this clear! Does everybody want a raise? Alright, everyone wants a raise, so what we're going to do is go into here, and we will not come out until we do.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31603
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Oscar
Again, that gives us no information.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31604
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Phyllis
This isn't a game, you know? It's our livelihood!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31605
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Michael
What about a raise based on merit?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31606
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Jim
Rank each person individually?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31607
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Michael
Mm-hmm. Piece of cake. Ryan, obviously the best.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31608
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Jim
Well, obviously. Too bad he's a temp and doesn't count, so let's get started.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31609
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Michael
Are you making a--
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31610
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Jim
Nope. I'm numbering the paper.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31611
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Oscar
Just--
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31612
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Kevin
Yeah, I don't understand how they can even consider giving money to some people and not the rest of us.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31613
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Angela
It's not like we're not gonna see the checks. We're in accounting!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31614
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Meredith
I am so pissed at this company!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31615
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Dwight
And Jim!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31616
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Meredith
Yeah. Who said that?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31617
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Dwight
I think it was Creed.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31618
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Creed
Yep.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31619
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Jim
It's going really well, actually.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31620
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Jim
Each Boston Baked Bean represents half a percent raise. We each got 24 beans, so the idea is, you place the bean on the picture of who you think deserv-- who's that?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31621
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Michael
Toby.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31622
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Jim
He's not a part of this. You know that.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31623
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Michael
Just wanted to draw a picture of him.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31624
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Jim
Okay, your move.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31625
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Michael
Alright! Who to pick? Who to pick?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31626
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Jim
Here we go.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31627
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Michael
I... will skip a turn.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31628
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Jim
Okay, you're gonna still have to play that bean. You know that.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31629
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Michael
I need more time.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31630
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Erin
Wallace sent an e-mail about a meeting next week. He wants you both to respond.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31631
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Dwight
People are starting to notice how terrible Jim is. It's great. Eventually, they'll rise up and revolt. My only hope is that they do it sooner rather than later. If the people here were our founding fathers, the Revolutionary War would have been delayed ten years, because Stanley Washington was napping, and Phyllis Hancock was still signing the declaration, and Kevin Jefferson was distracted by a butterfly.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31632
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Dwight
Come on in. That's right. Come in, feast your eyes. They determine our worth by putting beans upon our faces.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31633
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Oscar
What the hell?!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31634
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Dwight
Things were not this bad when just Michael was manager.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31635
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Michael
Hey, what are you guys doing in here?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31636
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Kevin
What does a bean mean?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31637
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Pam
Why aren't there any beans on this very old, frizzy-haired picture of me?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31638
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Kevin
Michael, what does a bean mean?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31639
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Pam
Jim?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31640
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Jim
I was just trying to be unbiased.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31641
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Kevin
What does a bean mean?!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31642
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Oscar
Someone please explain it to Kevin.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31643
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Meredith
Why can't you? My time is just as valuable as yours.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31644
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Phyllis
Not according to the beans.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31645
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Angela
This is how you make this important decision?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31646
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Andy
There's no way that Stanley gets more beans than me. That is ridiculous. This is how it works.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31647
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Phyllis
It's not so much that I might not get a raise. It's just demeaning!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31648
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Andy
Thank you! That is exactly-- by the way, I would also like a raise.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31649
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Phyllis
Yeah, I would, too.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31650
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Dwight
Are we idiots? What right does Jim have to claim authority, hmm? Is he as good a salesman as I? Is he as matronly as Phyllis? There are moments where we can affect change. For a few seconds every decade, we exist, and these are those seconds! Let us storm his castle! Come on! Tick-- let's get him. Tock-- let's get Jim! Tick-- and drag Jim out of his office! Tock-- take his keys away from him! Tick-- that's a clock! The time is getting very close! It's now or never! What say you?!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31651
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Phyllis
I say no.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31652
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Dwight
No, I mean, what do you say to my plan? Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31653
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Michael
[leaving his office, hurrying to Jim's office]
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31654
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Kevin
What does a bean mean?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31655
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Michael
How you doing?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31656
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Jim
Uh, on a scale of one to ten, I'd say I'm about a four.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31657
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Michael
Oh, what are you usually?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31658
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Jim
Six. You?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31659
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Michael
Usually a ten, but I'm feeling like a zero.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31660
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Jim
I mean, a performance-based raise sounded like a good idea, right?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31661
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Michael
I know, I know.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31662
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Jim
We tried to find the fairest way to do it.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31663
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Michael
Yes, we did.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31664
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Jim
I just-- what?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31665
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Michael
Um, nothing. I just... I used to have to do this part alone, and it was the worst. I have something I would like to give you.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31666
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Phyllis
Michael!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31667
-
Kevin
Michael!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31668
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Phyllis
Come on! This isn't fair!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31669
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Jim
Michael's my only friend left in the office. Except Pam... I think. Is she still upset?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31670
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Phyllis
Michael, you cannot just keep avoiding us like this!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31671
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Jim
Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31672
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Michael
You're welcome.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31673
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Jim
What's in here?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31674
-
Michael
Gin.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31675
-
Jim
Ooh!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31676
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Michael
Just pretend we're not here.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31677
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Ryan
Heard you guys are looking for cash for the wedding?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31678
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Pam
Yeah, I mean, if it's all the same for you.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31679
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Ryan
Question for you. Would you guys rather have $100 now, or $5,000 a year from now?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31680
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Pam
$100 now for sure.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31681
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Ryan
Because you just give me $50 to cover the broker fee, I put in a hundred of my own money as the gift...
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31682
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Pam
Yeah. No, no, I'll um-- the hundred. I'll just take the hundred.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31683