Every quote from The Office season 6, episode 3, in script order. First aired October 1, 2009.
-
Dwight
Could you please sign my expense report?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31384
-
Michael
No way, no how. Expense reports are a day-to-day item. That is Jim's now. I am exclusively big picture, epic.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31385
-
Dwight
Sign this.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31386
-
Jim
Ah, ah, ah. Where's the 'please'? We're not animals.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31387
-
Dwight
Sign it.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31388
-
Jim
No, not without a 'please.'
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31389
-
Dwight
Idiot.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31390
-
Dwight
I have a complaint about Jim.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31391
-
Michael
That is not big picture.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31392
-
Dwight
I would like to file a huge, enormous, massive complaint about the tallest guy in our office.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31393
-
Michael
... Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31394
-
Dwight
Jim won't sign my expense report.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31395
-
Michael
That is not-- okay-- that is day-to-day.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31396
-
Dwight
No, that is huge.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31397
-
Michael
You're trying to trick me.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31398
-
Dwight
This has to do--
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31399
-
Michael
Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31400
-
Dwight
I'd like to lodge a complaint.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31401
-
Jim
I'm sorry to hear about that. Who is this about?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31402
-
Dwight
You!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31403
-
Jim
Okay. Just want to let you know I take complaints very seriously. So... When did this happen?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31404
-
Dwight
One minute ago.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31405
-
Jim
Okay. And how do you feel?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31406
-
Dwight
Angry.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31407
-
Jim
All right. Did he hit you?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31408
-
Dwight
No.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31409
-
Jim
Did you cry?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31410
-
Dwight
No.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31411
-
Jim
Did you feel like crying?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31412
-
Dwight
No.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31413
-
Jim
I'm just gonna write 'held back tears.'
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31414
-
Dwight
Wait, stop writing that. That is not true.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31415
-
Jim
If you stop crying, I'll stop writing it.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31416
-
Dwight
I'm not cr-- uhh!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31417
-
Dwight
I deserved that promotion, not Jim. Oh, man. Makes me want to put him in a triangle choke hold and force him down to the ground and just keep pressing and pressing. And then flip him over and then put him in a hammer lock! And he's gasping, he's panting! Every last breath! And the crowd is going crazy. And boom! I emerge victorious! Aha! $18,000 and a chance at the title! Ooh hah!
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31418
-
Erin
Dwight, Jim wants you to keep it down.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31419
-
Michael
Everyone, now would be a good time to freshen up, because I'd like everyone to meet in the conference room in five minutes. And I suggest that you bring a snack, because we may be in there for a while.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31420
-
Jim
Michael...
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31421
-
Michael
Yes?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31422
-
Jim
Can I talk to you in my office for a second?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31423
-
Michael
Mmm, sure, but could I first talk to you in my office?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31424
-
Stanley
Can I also be a boss?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31425
-
Oscar
Look, it doesn't take a genius to know that any organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn't have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31426
-
Jim
I have noticed that we--
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31427
-
Michael
Welcome.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31428
-
Jim
Thank you. I've noticed we've been having a lot of conference room meetings.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31429
-
Michael
Mm-hmm.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31430
-
Jim
And I'm wondEring if perhaps those are a bit, um--
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31431
-
Michael
Disruptive.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31432
-
Jim
Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31433
-
Michael
No, I don't think they are. I think the meetings are very important.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31434
-
Jim
Okay, maybe we should talk specifics.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31435
-
Michael
Let's do.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31436
-
Jim
Okay. Yesterday, we had a meeting about planets.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31437
-
Michael
N-- well, to be fair, Jim... James... Jimothy... To be fair, Jimothy, the-- ah, that sounds weird. Are you okay with being called Jim?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31438
-
Jim
I am.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31439
-
Michael
Alright. Jim, to be fair, the conversation wasn't about planets...
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31440
-
Jim
Right.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31441
-
Michael
At first, we were talking about introducing a line of toilet paper. And what part of the human body does one use toilet paper upon? So you draw a line from there to the other planets, and I think by the end, we all learned a little bit about how small we are.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31442
-
Jim
Yes, I agree.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31443
-
Michael
Because it's a big universe, and we're all just little, tiny specks of dust.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31444
-
Jim
I just think that maybe they're eating large amounts of the day.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31445
-
Michael
You know what eats a large amount of the day are naps. You go to sleep, it's light out, you wake up, it's dark. That's the whole day. Where did that day go? I have no idea.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31446
-
Jim
You mean on a weekend?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31447
-
Michael
Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31448
-
Jim
How about this? I think our goal should be we don't have meetings unless they're absolutely essential.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31449
-
Michael
Alright. No more meetings this week.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31450
-
Jim
Really? You just agreed to that?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31451
-
Michael
I can be very suprising.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31452
-
Phyllis
What's going on?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31453
-
Pam
I need to fit into my wedding dress. However, I'm also pregnant.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31454
-
Ryan
You know, it's a myth that women have to gain more than nine pounds in a pregnancy. Look at these actresses. Some of them lose weight.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31455
-
Phyllis
Hey, did you guys register for wedding gifts?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31456
-
Pam
We did, but mostly because people expect us to. We're also accepting other gifts not on the registry... However much.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31457
-
Pam
It's awkward asking people for money, but we could really use it. Why doesn't Crate & Barrel let you register for a toaster full of cash?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31458
-
Phyllis
Perfect. I hate registries.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31459
-
Pam
Oh, good.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31460
-
Phyllis
My cousin makes the most amazing romantic birdhouse mailboxes. I know I shouldn't tell you, but you'll still be suprised when you see it. You're not registered for a birdhouse, are you?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31461
-
Pam
No, we're not.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31462
-
Phyllis
Good. Good.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31463
-
Michael
Mm-hmm?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31464
-
Jim
Okay, I thought I saw people missing.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31465
-
Michael
Yeah, just focus-grouping a product expansion idea to these folks. Got one of each.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31466
-
Jim
Really? Hey, Stanley, what was the last thing Michael said before I came through the door?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31467
-
Michael
Stanley, you don't need to answer that.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31468
-
Jim
Stanley?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31469
-
Stanley
If you don't smell this, you're fired.'
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31470
-
Jim
Okay, Michael, I thought we agreed to not take up people's time with meetings like these.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31471
-
Michael
What do you mean by 'these people'?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31472
-
Jim
Michael, this is a conference room meeting.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31473
-
Michael
Oh, hey, everybody, I think that Jim has gone insane, because he thinks that my office is a conference room.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31474
-
Jim
That's not what I meant.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31475
-
Michael
Listen, Jim, no offense, but when push comes to shove, what I want is more important that what you want.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31476
-
Jim
I disagree.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31477
-
Michael
What do you guys think?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31478
-
Jim
Great. Guys, can I just have a moment alone with Michael?
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31479
-
Michael
No, no, no, you don't need to go anywhere. Anything that Jim has to say to me, he can say in front of these types of people.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31480
-
Jim
That is not what I said, and, also, I am co-manager, meaning you are not the only manager anymore. I am also I co-manager.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31481
-
Michael
That is not what Wallace told us.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31482
-
Jim
That's exactly what Wallace told us.
Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31483