Every line from The Office season 6, episode 2, in script order. First aired September 24, 2009.
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Michael
Well, nnnn, that... that was an anomaly. That file had been falsified. Toby Flenderson is doing drugs.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31316
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David
Michael, I really don't know what's going on down there, but... oh, dammit, I am getting pulled over for talking on my cell, dammit.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31317
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Toby
Hey Darryl, look ahhh, we're here to apologize ahh...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31318
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Darryl
Cool.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31319
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Dwight
Wait! They're using the lift as their own personal elevator.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31320
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Toby
What?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31321
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Dwight
He broke his ankle climbing over the railing and he lied about it because it was a misuse of company equipment, case closed.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31322
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Darryl
Stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31323
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Dwight
Really? Then why is there new wood only on one railing? Hmmm? We should check the security tapes Toby.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31324
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Toby
Well, I don't think there's any reason to check 'em but I suppose if we wanted to be really certain...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31325
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Darryl
Alright, yeah fine so whatever...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31326
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Dwight
Yes!
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31327
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Toby
You really did it...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31328
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Dwight
Now, I would like to file an official complaint to corporate because Darryl lied on an official form.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31329
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Darryl
And I'm telling them you guys sexually harassed my sister.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31330
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Dwight
Phhhht. No judge is gonna believe that...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31331
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Toby
Ahhh, kay. Look, we could all file complaints against each other and just drown in a sea of paperwork, but you know, we can just move on with our... with our lives.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31332
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Toby
So Dwight and Darryl came to an agreement that both would file complaints with corporate and now I get to do all this paperwork. We worked it out.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31333
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Michael
Hey, hey Jim, it would make me feel really good right now if you would just punch me in the face. Alright, Just do it.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31334
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Jim
How many times have I asked you to put me up for a branch manager job.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31335
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Michael
I never recommended you because I didn't want to lose you and I didn't want to lose Pam, and now I don't wanna lose the baby.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31336
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Jim
So instead, you screwed me?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31337
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Michael
That's what she...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31338
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Jim
No.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31339
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Erin
David Wallace is calling.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31340
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Michael
Kind of in the middle of something here.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31341
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Erin
Should I tell him you'll call him back?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31342
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Michael
I, yeah... no, I'll tell him myself. Let's both.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31343
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Michael
Hello.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31344
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David
Hey Michael, you got Jim there with you?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31345
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Michael
No, it's just us.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31346
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David
Actually, can you call Jim in? I want him on, please.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31347
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Michael
Oh, oh, well here he is right now. Come in.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31348
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Jim
Hi David.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31349
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David
Hey guys, so I spoke to Alan, we had kind of an unconventional idea, which I think is pretty cool. But it only works if everyone's on board.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31350
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Michael
Well just as long as it means Jim becomes a manager.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31351
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David
We were thinking of having two branch managers in Scranton. Both of you guys working as co-managers. Jim would handle the day to day and Michael you would focus on clients and big picture stuff.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31352
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Jim
Wow, that sounds pretty cool.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31353
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Michael
I like that, so manager and co-manager.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31354
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David
Co-manager and Co-manager. See, there are a lot of moving pieces and this is the only way I can sell it upstairs.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31355
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Michael
Well that might be a little confusing for people because they know me as manager.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31356
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David
Alright, hey Michael can you pick up for one second. Okay look, I'm not going to force you into anything. If you're willing to lose Jim, fine, you just say so and we'll find another solution, okay. Is that what you want to do?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31357
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Dwight
Okay people, listen up, I have an announcement to make, fraud was committed...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31358
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Michael
Okay everybody, I have an announcement to make... whoa do you have an announcement?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31359
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Dwight
I'm... I was making it.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31360
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Michael
Everybody, David Wallace and I have talked and we have decided to promote Jim to the position of co-manager.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31361
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Stanley
Co-manager of what?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31362
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Michael
Of your butt, and your butt, and your butt, all of the Scranton branch butts.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31363
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Phyllis
What's happening to you Michael?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31364
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Michael
What's happening to me? I am also being promoted to co-manager, we will be co-managers together. Jim Halpert, welcome.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31365
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Jim
Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31366
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Dwight
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31367
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Meredith
Niagara Falls in October? Pfft, hells yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31368
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Pam
Do you think that you could send in your RSVP card?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31369
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Meredith
Nah, I'll just tell you now, easier.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31370
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Pam
Well, you have to choose a food option and there's information in there about directions and lodging...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31371
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Meredith
I'll just have whatever's fanciest, unless there's ribs. I'll just get the other information the day of, I'll text you.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31372
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Pam
You are going to text me, the morning of my wedding.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31373
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Meredith
Uh huh.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31374
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Pam
To ask for directions..
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31375
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Meredith
Right...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31376
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Pam
And you will eat whatever is fanciest?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31377
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Meredith
Unless there's ribs.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31378
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Angela
Rude.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31379
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Pam
So rude, right?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31380
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Angela
Mmm hmmm.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31381
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Pam
Oh my gosh, I have been chasing people down all day. It's incredible.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31382
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Angela
Pam, my bag was there...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31383