Every line from The Office season 6, episode 2, in script order. First aired September 24, 2009.
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Andy
Oui, Oui, Monsieur. From the Wisconsin region, a nice firm cheddar. Also from the great state of Wisconsin, an aged parmesan. Here you will find a cheddar style spread which has reacted nicely with the air to form a light rind which I think you'll find both challenging and delicious. At that point, I would recommend you take a trip south of the border to the great state of Illinois where you will find this fine Bleu Cheese dressing. If I may be so bold, it's a lot of fun to let the goldfish take a little swim in the bleu cheese. Bon appetit.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31216
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David
Alright, well I should go. Thanks for this. You've given me a lot to think about. Please promise me you won't do anything until we speak.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31217
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Jim
No, I won't. Alright, thanks for giving me your time, I appreciate it.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31218
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David
Thank you Jim.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31219
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David
Erin, is Michael around?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31220
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Erin
I think he's around here...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31221
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Michael
Hey, hey, you must have walked right past me. How you doin'?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31222
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David
Ah, yeah, could we talk in your office for a second?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31223
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Michael
Yes, definitely.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31224
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Toby
Sounds like a EMDP-40.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31225
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Dwight
Nah, that's a GE. A P40 is much higher pitched.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31226
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Toby
You're into trains?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31227
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Dwight
I have been my whole life.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31228
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Toby
Wow.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31229
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Dwight
I'm rebuilding a turn of the century steam engine in my slaughter house.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31230
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Toby
That's so cool.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31231
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Dwight
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31232
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Toby
Wow, I'd love to take a look at that.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31233
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Dwight
Yeah, it's just a run of the mill slaughter house, but sure anytime.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31234
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Toby
Well, you know, 'cause of the trains.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31235
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Dwight
Wa... wa... wait , someone's coming.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31236
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Toby
Uhh, oh boy, oh boy.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31237
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Dwight
Here, get down! He's not using crutches! Get the camera!
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31238
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Toby
Get over there! Get over there!
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31239
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Dwight
Oh, worker's comp, my ass!
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31240
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Toby
I can't believe this. Hey you, ass****!
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31241
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Dwight
Toby...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31242
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Toby
You gonna eat all that dog food yourself?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31243
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Dwight
Ooohhh... Oh man! You okay?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31244
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Toby
Just keep going.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31245
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Pam
Hey Ryan.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31246
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Ryan
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31247
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Pam
So, I just wanted to confirm that you're not coming to my wedding.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31248
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Ryan
Yeah, I might stop by.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31249
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Pam
It costs about $75 per person.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31250
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Ryan
Okay, I once had a glass of Cognac that cost $77.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31251
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Pam
Can you just tell me now if you're coming or not?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31252
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Ryan
Yes, I'm coming to your wedding.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31253
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Pam
Okay, Ryan Howard, yes.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31254
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Ryan
Probably, yes.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31255
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Pam
Kelly Kapoor, yes.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31256
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David
Are you sure you're okay with these new responsibilites?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31257
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Michael
Look who you're talking to.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31258
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David
I'm just trying to figure out the best way to utilize everyone's talents.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31259
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Michael
Well I would say that my greatest talent is being the best man, woman, or child, to have ever run this branch, ever.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31260
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David
What about Jim? Do you think Jim is someone who is ready to move into a management position?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31261
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Michael
Permission to speak on the record?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31262
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David
Please do.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31263
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Michael
Jim is like Big Bird. He is tall and yellow and very nice. But would I put him in charge? No, I don't think so. Because Big Bird doesn't make the tough decisions. I... If I was gonna put someone in charge, I would put Burt in charge or I would put one of the real grown-ups in charge, like Maria or Gordon, maybe.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31264
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David
I thought you liked Jim?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31265
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Michael
Very much, Jim is my best friend. But it's his performance report... right here. Now this was written by Toby, who we all know is extremely reliable.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31266
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David
'Constant office distractions, spends way too much time at reception, antagonizes other salesman, not at all what he thinks he is.'
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31267
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Michael
It's not very well written, but you get the gist.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31268
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David
Is there anybody else you think could run the day to day of the branch?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31269
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Michael
I can just continue to run it myself.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31270
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David
Jim had an interesting idea to help you with this extra work load and it involved you being promoted to oversee all northeast sales and then Jim would be promoted to your position.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31271
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Michael
This was Jim's idea?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31272
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David
Mmhmm.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31273
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Michael
Wow. Ummm, well I'd have to talk to my mother and my guy at H and R Block.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31274
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David
Ummm... okay, here's the thing though. The plan doesn't work unless we have someone to replace you. I was hoping... plus we have to worry about Jim, he has another job offer. We may have to replace him.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31275
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Jim
I didn't tell Michael because I thought he'd try to help. Example, he handed out Jello shots at the 23rd mile of the Steamtown marathon.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31276
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David
Jim can you walk me out to my car for a second.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31277
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Jim
Sure.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31278
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Michael
I can't help but feel partially responsible.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31279
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Michael
Little pick me up? Oh those are the best. Little sugar rush.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31280
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Jim
When you were in the office earlier talking to Wallace, did I come up at all?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31281
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Michael
Well we did talk about how handsome you are.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31282
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Jim
Why don't we head in your office to talk?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31283
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Michael
Oh what a week, God. We said... I know there were certain things we said...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31284
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Jim
Michael, look I'll just be honest with you. Earlier today I spoke with Wallace about a promotion. I actually think that talk went really well. And then after he spoke with you, for some reason it felt like things had changed.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31285
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Michael
Hmmm, that's weird, that's weird... it's kinda weirding me out. Did you know that Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31286
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Jim
Michael, did you say anything?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31287
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Michael
Tell you what, when you leave this office I am going to call Wallace and I am going to tell him that you should get that promotion.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31288
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Jim
Really?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31289
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Michael
Yes!
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31290
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Jim
You will? Wanna do it right now?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31291
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Michael
Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31292
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Jim
I tried to keep Michael in the dark. I should have known that he can do just as much damage in the dark.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31293
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Dwight
I need to see your pupils. I need to see if they're dilated.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31294
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Toby
If they were dilated...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31295
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Darryl
Toby! Dwight! Is that them?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31296
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Gwenneth
Definitely.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31297
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Darryl
You come to my house, bust up my trash cans, call my baby sister an ass****, and told her to eat dog food.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31298
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Dwight
We thought that she was you.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31299
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Darryl
Why would you think a lady is me?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31300
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Dwight
Are you... are you serious? Be... cause you look exactly alike. Am I the only one? Are you getting this?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31301
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Toby
No, nah. I don't see it.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31302
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Darryl
Here's what I'm gonna do, I'm calling corporate and I'm filing a complaint against both of you.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31303
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Dwight
Aww, Darryl.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31304
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Darryl
C'mon Gwenneth.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31305
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Gwenneth
Sad.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31306
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David
This is David.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31307
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Michael
Hey David, this is Michael Scott. Michael Scott here.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31308
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David
Yep.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31309
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Michael
Just wanted to talk to you about Jim Halpert. I understand that he did not receive the promotion. And I wanted to see what I could do to nudge you in the right direction.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31310
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David
So, what, you're changing your mind about Jim?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31311
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Michael
Absolutely, not. Like I said before, Jim is fantastic and he deserves this job.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31312
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David
Michael, it seems like you're cutting in and out... This is not what you said earlier.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31313
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Michael
Wha... here's the thing, Jim is the best man for this job, I think you should give it to him.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31314
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David
Well, it doesn't change what you showed me in Jim's file.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31315