Every line from The Office season 6, episode 22, in script order. First aired May 6, 2010.
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Jim
Wait, so are you... you like heart-shaped jewelry, though, right?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37735
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Pam
No. Except for the pendant that you bought me. Which I love.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37736
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Creed
Psst...
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37737
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Andy
Creed's head of quality assurance. So he'd definitely be wrapped up in this.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37738
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Creed
So there I am, minding my own business and Darnell offers me three bucks. All I gotta do is walk by Andy and go like this. Darnell's a chump. I would have done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37739
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Pam
So it turns out Donna and I have a facebook friend of a friend in common, so I was able to see some of her pictures online. This was taken two weeks ago. And this was taken the same night. This photo was taken this morning. It's Cece. She's never gonna do anything wrong.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37740
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Donna
Isn't that something?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37741
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Michael
Wow. That's exciting.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37742
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Pam
Hey, Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37743
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Michael
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37744
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Pam
I'm sorry to interrupt you. Um, I actually have something very important to talk to you about, business related.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37745
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Michael
Well it can wait. It can wait.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37746
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Pam
I lied it's personal. It's about me and Jim. We're... I just... you're the only person I can talk to.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37747
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Michael
Jim is her husband.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37748
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Donna
Oh.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37749
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Pam
And...
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37750
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Michael
And they are having problems, so sh...
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37751
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Pam
No, not... we're not... we're not having problems. But it is personal. And I would love...
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37752
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Michael
Good in bed.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37753
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Pam
Yes. Yes, I desperately want to speak with you about my sex life with Jim.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37754
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Michael
Oh, my God. Look at how cheap street level rooms are. Am I the only person who enjoys people watching?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37755
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Pam
I need you to sign this! So bad!
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37756
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Michael
Okay, weirdo.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37757
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Pam
I love... this idea is neat. I've never been. It sounds lovely.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37758
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Donna
Yeah I think it'll be a nice trip. We're gonna get a lot done.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37759
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Pam
You're gonna wanna look at the date on that. Oh, wow. Look at... golfing. Are you a golfer?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37760
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Donna
I am, but I, I gave my clubs away. I swear too much. Hey, you okay?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37761
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Michael
Yeah, I just remembered that I have to go to the bathroom. Pam?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37762
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Pam
Absolutely.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37763
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Darryl
Look, I'm not down there anymore, so if the guys start making fun of you, you just, you gotta stand up for yourself.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37764
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Glen
I know, it's just, I'm scared...
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37765
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Andy
Your text said 911.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37766
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Darryl
Glen, could you excuse us?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37767
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Darryl
It's bad.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37768
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Andy
What's bad?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37769
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Darryl
It's real bad.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37770
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Darryl
Still no plan.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37771
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Andy
Oh, God.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37772
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Darryl
It's getting bigger.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37773
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Andy
I might have to go public here, but no one's gonna believe me. Uh... I need proof. I need, like, a printer to catch on fire.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37774
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Darryl
I can videotape it.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37775
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Andy
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37776
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Darryl
There it is.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37777
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Andy
There what is?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37778
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Darryl
What?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37779
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Michael
Who the hell is this? Who is this guy?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37780
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Pam
I don't know who he is.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37781
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Michael
God! Lowest of the low. That guy. Just a notch above Toby. You know what?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37782
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Pam
What?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37783
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Michael
I'm gonna kill him. No, I'm not. I feel... I... no, I'm not going to kill him.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37784
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Pam
You just have to go in there. You have to hear it from her.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37785
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Michael
I have to hear it from her.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37786
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Pam
You have to settle down first.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37787
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Michael
I need to have her tell me herself. Right?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37788
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Pam
Okay. Okay. Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37789
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Michael
I need to have her say...
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37790
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Pam
Yeah, but you have to calm...
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37791
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Michael
I need to say, 'What the hell is that? What the hell is that?'
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37792
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Pam
Okay. Look at this, look at this. Baby picture.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37793
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Michael
No, God! No, no, oh, my God!
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37794
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Pam
Hi, Michael, hi, Michael
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37795
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Michael
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37796
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Gabe
I talked to corporate. Turns out there have been 12 reports of faulty printers. Out of 400,000. We've investigated. Every time it's been user error. They block the vents or something, I don't know. That's why we have the fine print. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. So I'd like to reward you for that. That's god for five bucks at Dunkin' Donuts. Any Dunkin' Donuts.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37797
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Michael
You know what? We should really do something fun this week.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37798
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Donna
Yeah, we should.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37799
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Michael
Wouldn't that be fun?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37800
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Donna
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37801
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Michael
How about Thursday?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37802
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Donna
Thursday works. Yeah, what do you wanna do?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37803
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Michael
I can't do Thursday. Book club. How about Friday?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37804
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Donna
Oh, Friday doesn't work.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37805
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Michael
Oh, really? 'cause I was thinking we could go to this concert. Spice Girls are opening for Weird Al. Front row. It'd be a great, great concert.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37806
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Donna
Shoot. I'm working.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37807
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Michael
Oh okay. Well, maybe I could stop by.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37808
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Donna
Well, won't you be at the concert?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37809
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Michael
Nope, that's Tuesday.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37810
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Donna
Oh, well, I can make it on Tuesday.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37811
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Michael
You're cheating. You're cheating on me.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37812
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Donna
How do you know?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37813
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Michael
Pam told me.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37814
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Pam
Did she see me?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37815
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Jim
Nice effort.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37816
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Andy
We're printing on 24-pound premium stock paper, approximately 300 sheets in. So far, no signs of distress.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37817
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Darryl
You haven't even introduced yourself.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37818
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Andy
Right. My name is Andrew Baines Bernard, and if you're watching this, it's because I've turned State's witness because I'm in danger because I know too much.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37819
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Darryl
You should talk in a higher voice 'cause the camera makes you sound weird.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37820
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Andy
Higher? Okay. Recently certain events have come to my attention...
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37821
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Darryl
Higher.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37822
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Andy
Make it higher? Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37823
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Darryl
Mm-hmm
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37824
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Andy
I have come to the conclusion that the Sabre corporation...
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37825
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Darryl
One more, yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37826
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Andy
May be overlooking certain safety regulations. At the danger... ah! It's working. It's... I knew it!
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37827
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Darryl
This...
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37828
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Andy
We are blowin' the roof off! Blowin' the roof off! Nice. Nice. This is my partner, Darryl Philbin. He's been my partner through this entire thing.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37829
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Darryl
I don't wanna prank anymore. Things get real. It's not funny. I'm just gonna be good, stay in my room, go to church, try to do one nice thing per day. I do not wanna prank anymore.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37830
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Michael
Who is he?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37831
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Donna
What, what do you mean?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37832
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Michael
The other man. Who's the guy? Who is it?
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37833
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Donna
It's you. I'm married.
Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37834