"Secretary's Day" Quotes (page 2)

Every line from The Office season 6, episode 20, in script order. First aired April 22, 2010.

267 quotes · page 2 of 3

  1. Erin

    Why wouldn't he tell me that?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37040

  2. Michael

    I don't know. Probably didn't want you to have a mental image of him having sex with somebody else.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37041

  3. Erin

    They had sex?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37042

  4. Michael

    They were engaged, so... Okay, you know what, sir?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37043

  5. Hayworth's waiter

    Yes?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37044

  6. Michael

    Yeah, I asked for pickles with my burger. And there are only, like five or six. Could I get some more pickles?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37045

  7. Hayworth's waiter

    Of course. I'll get you a bowl of pickles.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37046

  8. Michael

    Thank you.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37047

  9. Erin

    Uhhhh, they were engaged?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37048

  10. Michael

    Mm-hmm. Yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37049

  11. Erin

    Uh-oh...

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37050

  12. Michael

    Well...

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37051

  13. Erin

    [moans, pulls hair over her face]

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37052

  14. Michael

    What are you doing? What are you doing?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37053

  15. Erin

    In the Foster home, my hair was my room.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37054

  16. Michael

    Okay, okay. You know what? You know what? You know what? Everybody's looking at you right now.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37055

  17. Erin

    [breathes heavily, groans]

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37056

  18. Michael

    I'll have what she's having!

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37057

  19. Michael

    Did you have a... did you like your lunch? Did you have a good lunch? Did you like that? Did you enjoy your food? It was good. I liked my lunch.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37058

  20. Pam

    Ooh. Ah-ah-ah. Ha-ha.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37059

  21. Jim

    What's up?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37060

  22. Dwight

    Her milk is coming in. She's getting uncomfortable.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37061

  23. Jim

    Dwight, don't be gross.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37062

  24. Pam

    No, no, he's right.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37063

  25. Dwight

    Same thing happens with my cows if I don't tend them frequently enough. You gotta milk them, or else they'll moo like crazy.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37064

  26. Pam

    That's weird, my breast pump is missing. Have you seen my breast pump?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37065

  27. Dwight

    All right, this is gonna traumatize me a hell of a lot more than you, believe me.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37066

  28. Pam

    You know what, Dwight? Let me just check the bathroom first. Okay?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37067

  29. Dwight

    Really? Fine. Let your breasts explode. Three squeezes and I would drain you.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37068

  30. Pam

    Mm. Meredith!

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37069

  31. Meredith

    I just like the way it feels.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37070

  32. Pam

    What are you doing?!

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37071

  33. Meredith

    Just relax. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37072

  34. Pam

    Relax?!

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37073

  35. Meredith

    This is like the Cadillac of pumps.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37074

  36. Pam

    Give it back to me now.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37075

  37. Meredith

    Okay, I was just warming it up.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37076

  38. Pam

    It's disgusting!

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37077

  39. Meredith

    It's not a big deal.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37078

  40. Pam

    It's not sterile!

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37079

  41. Meredith

    We're both girls. Who cares?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37080

  42. Andy

    So... how was lunch?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37081

  43. Erin

    Lunch was fine.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37082

  44. Andy

    Was it everything that you hoped and dreamed it might be?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37083

  45. Erin

    I don't know. It was lunch, Andy.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37084

  46. Andy

    Well, I know. Just want... I mean...

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37085

  47. Oscar

    Erin? I think we're out of fax cover sheets.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37086

  48. Erin

    God, Oscar, will you keep your pants on? It's easy.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37087

  49. Kelly

    'My name is Kevin, I'm an accountant.' See I did the voice.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37088

  50. Ryan

    That's a little derivative.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37089

  51. Kelly

    But parody is always derivative.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37090

  52. Ryan

    Uh, it's not organic. Do you know what I mean?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37091

  53. Pam

    Jim does a really good one. Do yours.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37092

  54. Jim

    Oh, guys. I really refuse to participate. 'Michael, can I have an advance on my paycheck because a Mrs. Fields Cookie just opened up at the mall.'

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37093

  55. Gabe

    Guys, why don't we leave the parodies to the pros at Mad TV?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37094

  56. Jim

    Sorry, Gabe, but that show hasn't been on in many cookies.'

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37095

  57. Gabe

    Ok.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37096

  58. Andy

    Hey. Can I have your attention please? First of all, thanks to everyone for helping put this awesome party together. And a very special shout-out to the chair of the Party Planning Committee, miss Angela Martin. You have outdone yourself.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37097

  59. Michael

    You know what, I think we can all agree that Angela's not so great, so..

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37098

  60. Andy

    I am saying the exact opposite. Angela is fantastic.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37099

  61. Michael

    No. No. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37100

  62. Andy

    Specific shout-out..

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37101

  63. Michael

    Stop talking.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37102

  64. Andy

    Ok. As some of you may know, I have a very special connection with Secretary's Day in the form of that 115 pound moonbeam over there named Erin Hannon. To a lot of you she may just be the person who brings you your fax comformations. But to me, she is my girlfriend... in addition to being the person who brings me my fax comformations. So I wrote a little ditty. That I would like to play for all of you right now. It's a little tune called Secretary of Love. A one, a two, a one, two, three..

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37103

  65. Erin

    I know about Angela! I know that you were engaged to her and that you were sleeping with her! Michael told me.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37104

  66. Michael

    Oh God.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37105

  67. Andy

    Can we talk about this in private?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37106

  68. Erin

    I don't want to be in private. Is it true or is it not?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37107

  69. Andy

    Yes.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37108

  70. Erin

    Who else did you sleep with? Did you sleep with Phyllis or Kelly or Pam? Maybe all together?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37109

  71. Pam

    No, no never.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37110

  72. Erin

    Did everyone know? Was I the only one who didn't know?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37111

  73. Dwight

    Yeah pretty much.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37112

  74. Erin

    Who are you?! I don't know you!

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37113

  75. Gabe

    I should probably get involved in this, but I think my energy is better spent on the Cookie Monster issue.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37114

  76. Kevin

    Erin, you know, if I had been engaged to anyone before you, I would've told you.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37115

  77. Erin

    Thanks.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37116

  78. Kevin

    So if you need anything, I'm right over there.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37117

  79. Pam

    'Hey, Erin, You look delicious. I mean, beautiful.'

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37118

  80. Gabe

    Ok. Ok there. I heard that. So I'm sorry, Pam, but that's it. I'm going to have to suspend you without pay for two days.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37119

  81. Pam

    What? What do you mean, suspend me?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37120

  82. Jim

    I think you need to go a little easy. You can't just suspend someone form work.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37121

  83. Gabe

    Yeah, you're right. You know what? Um, you're suspended too Jim. Ok fine. You too Dwight.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37122

  84. Dwight

    Wait, What? I was just slow-clapping your no-nonsense decision-making.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37123

  85. Gabe

    I don't want to hear it. Suspended.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37124

  86. Kevin

    C' is for suspension.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37125

  87. Andy

    Why would that be something to talk about on Secretary's Day?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37126

  88. Michael

    Andy, she's not the easiest person in the world to have a conversation with. All right? And besides, who doesn't tell their girlfriend that they were engaged to someone who works four feet away from them? That's like.. that's like Mr. and Mrs. Smith crap.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37127

  89. Andy

    I was going to tell her, just on my own time.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37128

  90. Michael

    You know what, I resent the implication that I would keep that secret. Everyone here knows that I can't and won't keep a secret.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37129

  91. Andy

    Who cares? I mean it's not like I killed someone. Big deal right? This can blow over in two seconds. She never asked me. So, if you think about it... I probably should have told her I guess. Everybody does stupid things.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37130

  92. Angela

    Psst. Hey. Erin.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37131

  93. Erin

    You want to talk to me, come to my desk.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37132

  94. Angela

    You embarrassed me earlier.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37133

  95. Erin

    Oh. Take it up with the chief of police.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37134

  96. Angela

    You think I want people remembering I had sensual relations with Andy? It's the kind of thing you wish you could have annulled. I want to throw up just thinking about it.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37135

  97. Erin

    I want to throw up just thinking about it.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37136

  98. Angela

    You are throwing up for the wrong reasons!

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37137

  99. Toby

    I don't think this fax is going through. Is there a different... I can just put it through again, you know.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37138

  100. Pam

    Hey. You know I was engaged before Jim.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37139